After 5 years of the search, I've found the

[Patrick]

... in response to After 5 years of the search, I've found ..., posted by Aaron on May 19, 2003

Aaron,

Congratulations!  Finding someone you really fall for and vice versa is the hardest part (at least of the searching portion of this quest).  I know you don't want to post any details about her, but for those interested in meeting women outside of agencies, maybe you could drop a hint about how you met her.

Meeting women outside agencies is discussed a little, but it's usually by those who are trying out these alternative methods, but haven't found "the one" yet.  A success story using alternative methods would be great.

Thanks, Patrick

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: After 5 years of the search, I've fo..., posted by Patrick on May 19, 2003

Patrick,

Even though I did meet my girlfriend at an agency, and we had her profile removed immediately after we met, I met girls outside of agencies before. I met a few girls on the last trip who were not part of agencies. I'll post an "experience" report tonight. But, let me just make some points now.

1.) Having a network of latin friends, both male and female, helps a great deal. You can learn from them, and they can possibly hook you up if you don't want to go the agency route. I didn't rely on my friends to pick possible partners because they couldn't introduce me to the same number of people I wanted to meet. My intention was to meet many many people to have a wide cross section. So, I decided to use the agencies. If the agencies weren't going to work out, and I was starting to be pessimistic, then I was going to rely on a woman friend from Bucaramanga who probably could have found someone that I could be happy with. Also, I'll make a point here, yeah I know some posters don't appreciate Colman's posts because they may seem unrelated to the theme of the board; but they do relate, and they provide an exellent depiction of how many Colombians view relationships and try to keep an open mind. Colombians for the most part are very open minded people, and they have allot of respect and appreciation for the USA, even though Americans may infact have negatively biased views and stereotype the whole country just because of a group of bad apples.  

2.) The concept of "NOVIOS." It is taken very seriously in Latin America, not like in the USA. In Latin America, to be NOVIOS is the first step before marriage, and you don't only marry the woman, but you marry her family too.

3.) Learn Spanish. The more Spanish you learn, it will help you with communication. But, also for guys who are still single, the more spanish you can master will open you up to a wider cross section of ladies who would consider dating a gringo, but never would consider an agency. Many women from that group are of the higher social classes, and more physically attractive.

4.) Family. Don't underestimate the importance of the lady's family. What are they into, do they work, are the younger children mannerable, are they well kept, is the house well kept, what are their values, etc. etc. etc.

5.) Agencies. Well, I advise all guys that agencies have personalities, and their members are usually people who are similar in terms of personality characterisitics. Success is more likely if you pick a place that has a wide cross section of people, and that fits your personality. I liked LatinBest because it has a homely enviornment. But, I like LatinEncounters too because it has a wider cross section of ladies. I used both places.

6.) This endeavour is not cheap. If you want to find the type of person you are looking for, more than likely you will need to spend $$$$. I definitely advise paying for membership at LatinBest because Luz is very negotiatable, and has allot of women, but don't just use her place. Go to LatinEncounters for sure and purchase a yearly membership. Margareth has probably the widest selection of attractive and classy women a guy can meet. I know it is allot to pay at once, but I saved for a few months to pay memberships at her's and another agency, and it was the most economical thing I did because I visited Cali 3 times this past year for two weeks each trip. Each time when I was there, I had unlimited access to the books everywhere, and I didn't have to pay a dime more. It got to the point that I was tired of having intros, and I was tired of looking at the books.

7.) Age differences. Well, most of the women I met didn't want someone too much older than they were. But, there are women that will date a much older man. The economic situation of the woman plays a large part for relationships with larger age differences (i.e., the guy being older, and more economically stable); then the experience of a more mature man is a turn on for many younger latinas, but not all. Many latinas want guys of the same age, or a little older or younger. There are also a selection of attractive older latinas in their 30s and 40s that would definitely consider marrying someone 10 years younger. I met and dated some.

That's it for now. I'll post later.

Aaron

[beenthere]

... in response to Re: Re: After 5 years of the search, I'v..., posted by Aaron on May 20, 2003

Excellent post Aaron!!!!!  Especially concerning learning Spanish.  It is invaluable as far as meeting woman, but also breaks down huge barriers, makes the woman more comfortable. It increases your odds a hundred fold, no matter your looks or age.  And if you have great looks and speak Spanish, you can get basically any woman you want.  (of course within reason).  And, personality is important also.
Another excellent point regarding novios.  I made this point earlier today in some posts regarding pescador's problem.  If you agree to being a latina's novio, it is a very important committment, and if think you can still keep your options open, you are making a very big mistake.  And if your novia is communicating with other gringos behind your back, she has breached her committment to you as your novia, and vice versa.
Congratulations Aaron and I wish you much success in your new relationship.
Thank for sharing your post!

[greg]

... in response to Re: After 5 years of the search, I've fo..., posted by Patrick on May 19, 2003

not outside the Agency.

[Pete E]

... in response to Hi Patrick, He met Her at an Agency, posted by greg on May 19, 2003

And Aaron wanted to swear off agencies at one time,but we talked him out of it.They are a great resource,even if the trouble girls use them also.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Hi Patrick, He met Her at an Agency, posted by greg on May 19, 2003

And Aaron wanted to swear off agencies at one time,but we talked him out of it.They are a great resource,even if the trouble girls use them also.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Hi Patrick, He met Her at an Agency, posted by greg on May 19, 2003

And Aaron wanted to swear off agencies at one time,but we talked him out of it.They are a great resource,even if the trouble girls use them also.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Speaking of agencies, posted by Pete E on May 20, 2003

nt

[Hiker]

... in response to I don't know how the triple post happene..., posted by Pete E on May 20, 2003

Is your PC a DELL?  I noticed when Jack Daniels drips off my chin and hits my Dell keyboard I keep posting them same thing over and over.   :-)

[Patrick]

... in response to Hi Patrick, He met Her at an Agency, posted by greg on May 19, 2003

I think my brain is starting to go.

[Michael B]

... in response to After 5 years of the search, I've found ..., posted by Aaron on May 19, 2003

Congradulations. Of course if you want to get married in a year, better apply for the K-1 now, ha ha.

[Aaron]

... in response to Sounds Great, posted by Michael B on May 19, 2003

Gracias. There's plenty of time to think about the K-1. Actually, in a couple of months after I analyze my data for my dissertation, I'm considering spending a couple of months in Colombia living near her family. I have some work relationships that will give me the flexibility to work abroad for a couple of months. And I can finish what I need to finish academically right before I bring her up.
Also, she told me ... no sex before marriage.
Aaron

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Sounds Great, posted by Aaron on May 19, 2003

[This message has been edited by lswote]

Hopefully she will be the girl of your dreams and there will be no sex after marriage either.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Sounds Great, posted by lswote on May 20, 2003

Bruce,
That  was funny,but lets not pick on our rightious young guy here. I'm sure sex after marriage will be OK with Aaron even by his strict standards.His point of view is more like the female point of view.They can feel cheap or used or guilty.I remember one old girl friend telling me before she was married every time she had sex with he future husband she would cry her eyes out.Guilt maybe,I don't know.After they were married she said it was wonderfull.
Sounds like Aaron is a good fit here with his novia's desires also.
Even me,with all my worldly experience went for no sex before marriage with my Colombiana.I was told thats what they expected and it was what she expected.And we got married real fast so I didn't have long to wait.In my case that was not a smart thing to do.I wouldn't do that again.
I would definetly want the test drive before purchase if I was doing it again.And it can be an indication that the relationship is ready for marriage.Maybe its Karma for all the one nighters I had and never called the girl back.Who would have thought me of all people would go for that one.I guess I bought some stories about hot Colombianas,I presumed  they were all that way.Let me tell you that is not the case.

Pete

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Re: Sounds Great, posted by lswote on May 20, 2003

[This message has been edited by Aaron]

n/t