Thanks for all the laughs.

[Big Wally]

You guys are really something else. I’ve read all your posts over the past week and I must say there really is a need for some adult guidance and supervision here.

While I’m sure all your intentions are good I must admit there is a definite lack of wisdom.

I won’t bother to address your individual posts since there seems to be one re-occuring theme, ie, “We know more than anyone. Who is this new guy to think he can barge into our club and start telling us anything of value?”

Sort of sounds like they were all written from the same person, or at least a group sharing the same brain.

Of course this note is not directed to all the members, only a handful here, but I think you know who you are. You like to dominate things here in the anonymous world of the internet to make up for your lack of personal esteem in the real world.

You guys don’t know me. You only got a small glimpse of my life and experiences. Too bad. I could give have shared a lot more than just “How I met my Colombian Wife”. But I guess you decided you already had all the info you needed.

As for my need to ‘develop a tougher skin’, Boys, I’m 49, I’m on my 3rd marriage, I spent 20 years in the military, I’ve either traveled or had access to first-hand information from Americans who live and work all over the world. This ain’t my first rodeo.

I’ve been a member of web sites that makes this one look like just what it is, a forum for lonely hearts and guys who need the comfort of their buds to guide them along and hold them when things go bad.
Hopefully there is also some usefull information being provided from time to time.

I won't bother with this site because I don't need to. I only stopped by to see what the latest news was on the "search" lifestyle and provide some info and levity where I could. I didn't seek this site out, I found it by accident when someone posted a comment from here on a travel board that I belong to.

You guys have no idea what a disservice you are doing to other members. How do I know? I’ve received emails from about 15 guys who all thanked me for my contributions and told me to ignore the negative members. Many of them also said they would post, or used to post, but the handful of trouble-makers keep them from being a part of the board.

Does this sound like a smart way to run a forum designed to share information?

You may be missing some valuable contributions from these guys.
Ignorance is the lack of realizing and acknowleging what you don't know.

And speaking of sharing information. I really loved this line:
     “at least half the advice a newbie might take away from the site is good. “

Do you want to travel to a foreign country with only half the information?
Do you want to meet a girl who only tells you half of what you need to know about her?
Do you want to try and get a girl a visa with only half the information?
Do you think the US Government will give her a visa with only half the paperwork filled out?

And now the moment you’ve all waited for, my take on what caused the big stir on the board last week, the “Questions for a Fiancee”.

You guys really showed your true personalities on this one.

Here is the opening paragraph of my post:

“This was a list a friend came up with for his Thai girlfriend. There are many thought-provoking questions here. Some may not apply to your situation. You can take it together but be prepared for the results, both yours and hers.”

I also replied to someone’s question asking if my friend was a psychologist. I replied, “No, he is a financial advisor for ex-pats and his wife is a VP for a large Thai corporation.” I should have also mentioned she has two master's degrees.

Thus these questions were geared for them. Two people WITH INTELLIGENCE. That also explains the last question that contained the business example.

As I stated over and over: IT WASN’T MEANT AS AN INTERVIEW FOR AN INTRODUCTION! I never suggested or advocated using it that way.

Too bad you guys don’t read so well. I hope you pay closer attention to your girlfriends and wives. An attention to detail is a prerequisite to a any good relationship.

I listed not once but FOUR TIMES that this was NOT a list to take to an introduction. It was intended to give a guy some IDEAS of POSSIBLE questions he could pick and choose from AFTER he’s made up his mind which girl he wants to continue with as a fiancee.

This is a list of topics to start some conversations that might delve a little deeper into a couple's thought process and intellect than apparently some of you have the ability.

I know there are all types of guys and some might use this list as you mentioned. I've seen them. I heard the stories. Some guys can't be helped. I was giving the members of this board more credit than that.

You have to be able to think in order to communicate and communication is the key to ANY relationship but especially one with a foreign woman.

If you guys can’t get along on a web site with other American males God help you when marrying a Latin Woman. You will get some lessons in life and communication and patience that you never even imagined.

I think you guys are doing yourselves and the ladies you meet a great injustice in assuming they don’t have any intelligence. While I’m sure there are many out there who are not as ‘worldly’ as you guys, there are also many that are much smarter than you in ways you cannot even conceive. They know how to get a guy to marry them and take them to a much better place for (hopefully) a much better way of life.
How many of you could do that?

Many of these girls have college degrees or at least some college education. They are also very astute in the ways that women have been manipulating men for centuries. Don’t kid yourselves, they know the score.

And for what it’s worth. My wife, a 31 yr old Calena with a teaching degree not only thought the list of question was good and useful but when she read some of the comments from you guys she only shook her head at the close-mindedness and lack of foresight.

Good Luck in your pursuit of love and happiness.

Don’t close your access to this forum because if my guess is correct, unless there is much more to you guy’s personalities and intellect than I read here, you’re going to need lots of help.

I’ll drop by from time to time to read the latest sad story of “I don’t know what happened. Everything was going so well and then she left me. She said we just couldn’t communicate.”

Like I said at the begining of this diatribe, it was meant for only a handful of members here. To the others I wish nothing but the best of luck. Heck, I even wish the best to my detractors.

Hey, look at it like this, if nothing else at least I livened up the board for a few days.

Hasta luego!

[Ken2]

... in response to Thanks for all the laughs., posted by Big Wally on May 13, 2003

I actually used a few of those questions your friend used and got some good feedback from a girl Im seeing.  It at least shows your "thinking."    She had asked some tough questions as well.  I think 70% were unrelated to dating / courtship which is not an issue.

Ken

[jim c]

... in response to Thanks for all the laughs., posted by Big Wally on May 13, 2003

Dear Wally
    What do we have to do,cut off your head and bury it after sundown?
   What really caused the list to jump on you was your personal arrogance and inflated condecending ego. What makes you think that the other 100, or so members have no experience in life, education or intelligence. You leave whining that you are not appreciated and therefore we must be ignorant. Something like casting pearls before swine. Of course there will always be those that are sympathetic towards your position.
    I have been on this forum for a long time and have seen trolls and wimps and crybabies. I have also observed intelligent helpfull posters like Cali Vet, Hoda,Edge and El Diablo.  I know the guy that wrote your list. It has been around a long time and your back peddling to justify posting it just don't cut the mustard. If you had bothered to read the archives you would have observed that there is knowledge and experience among the membership here. You then may not have given us the impression that god sent you to save us from ignorance.
    Upon further reflection, I believe that what ever power you had in the military went to your head and you think that directing 20 year old boys makes you an intelligent adult. In the real world Adults do not follow you just because you command. I read your posts and found nothing that I would consider new and enlightening information. Just Claghorn Leghorn pontificating for the ignorant birds in the yard.
  All the women I have dated in Colombia have College degrees. I am sixty years old and married three times. One wife was a french airline stewardess another a successful attorney with her own firm. I have been going to Colombia for four years and lived in Cali with a Calena. I own a guesthouse and office building in Key West. I have been all over the world. So Why don't you do what you said you were doing. Ascend into heaven sit next to Papi and tell him how unappreciative we were. jim c  
PS obviously I am not impressed, But I will apologize to Patrick for being so direct.

[Craig]

... in response to Re: Thanks for all the laughs., posted by jim c on May 13, 2003

Jim I Like you but your dead wrong on this. The group he's  talking about are childlike socially lacking adults, plain and simple. What I find amazing is it only took him a few days to figure it out. He's right about them, I saw the type in Cali, and was the main reason Norm got out of the agency biz. I really don't think he had you in mind when he blasted this board, but he's dead on, bulls eye correct about them.

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: Thanks for all the laughs., posted by Craig on May 13, 2003

I have no personal grudge against Wally. I just felt that he was underestimating the knowledge on this board. I joking responded on the questionair and his response was one of defense and arrogence. Like I give a sh#t if some thai acquaintence has a degree in any thing. That did not make the list credible. She married the guy that used it, what does  that say.
   When he resigned with the I have no more to teach you bit, it really pissed me off. There is one special thing which I have  found on the internet. You have no idea who you are talking to or about. So it is best to keep your mouth shut and learn about the occupants as well as temper your opinions with a little humility and courtesy. Otherwise you make  a fool of yourself. Although arrogant people seldom realize when they have done so.  
   We of course have a variety of immature and strange people here. It is the nature of the internet. We have people who lie about who they are and people who love to start problems.

There's no business like show business. ENJOY THE RIDE
Looking foreward to seeing you in Key West JIM C

[Big Wally]

... in response to Re: Thanks for all the laughs., posted by jim c on May 13, 2003

I didn't mention any names and I said it was directed at only a HANDFUL of guys. You weren't one of them.

Sorry if my post seemed malicious or mean-spirited. It wasn't intended that way. But do you feel I don't deserve a chance to defend myself? It's easy for people to nit pick over trivial things. All my posts were only intended to provide some info and keep things interesting.

You didn't care for my phraseology? I thought I kept it pretty clean. Check out some of the posts written to me to or about me. Did they bother me? No. Do I regret any of my posts? No. Do I think some guys blew them way out of proportion? Yes.

The point of today's post was the lack of open-mindedness and the stifling of communication on this site. I can see some of the comments are proving my point.

Let me leave you with one question, did you read anything in my post that wasn't true?

Email me if you like. I'd love to chat. I think you're way off base on your profile of me. You might find we have more in common than you think.

In fact, I'm open to anyone who cares to write. Just make it productive if you want me to answer.

Best of luck to you all.

wally3333@earthlink.net

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Thanks for all the laughs., posted by Big Wally on May 13, 2003

Big Wally

I think you win the prize for longest posts of 2003 (twice).  If your first list wasn't longer than the Texas Constitution I might have gotten to the part where you wrote "don't take this list to an interview".  Anyway, I'm glad we agree that no one should take a list of questions to a meeting or a date with a woman.

Steve

PS:  We've all got credentials.  It's not necessary to wave them here on a forum about women and relationships.  They won't validate your ideas.  Your ideas stand on their own.

PPS:  It counterproductive to behave like the rest of us need help and you've just rode into town with all the answers.