You guys were right I did not listen

[elcolombiano]

My novia left last week after visiting me on a tourist visa. She stayed 38 days. She does not want to come back claiming she needs a car and lots of money. She has no intrest in working in the US if we got married. She wants a maid also. She did not want to learn English here either. She just wanted to go to the mall every day to shop for clothes. When I asked her why she needed lots of money to live here she gave me the following example. That if she has a child her figure will go and she will need massages that are very expensive here. She is devorced and 37 years old.

I guess I learned an expensive and heart breaking experience. Don't date women that have not worked in years and everything they have ever owned in their life was given to them by someone else. She is a spoiled only child. It is common in the higher social classes for the women to be well educated but have no intentions of ever working. They think that because they are pretty a man will give them everything they need. Their only role in life is to look pretty and provide love for the husband. They have no other hobbies or intrests. Many of these women who are married are forbiden by there husbands to work. In this regard Colombia is a very backward country not that much different than Afghanistan.

[elcolombiano]

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Thank you all for your help and support. Its made a big difference.

[thundernco]

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Hey Buddy,

Sorry to hear it didn't work out; although it's no consolation, at least you won't have to wonder the what ifs.  As I said when we spoke at Chipi, there are really good women in Colombia, but it deoes take alot of legwork and sifting through the beautiful and shallow to find them.  Keep your chin up and keep looking and listening to your cousin, your a great guy and you'll find a great gal. An update on my situation, fortunately for me things came together with my wife.  I'm happier than I've ever been in my personal life, but it definitely was a rough year getting to this point.  Take Care & stay in touch.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by thundernco on May 5, 2003

That's good news Thundernco glad to hear it.

[Cali vet]

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Sorry to hear it amigo. There seemed to be so much "quimica" between you two when we all met at La Tertulia. But like a friend of mine here says there's more girls in Colombia than churches.

[Big Wally]

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

I just found this site a couple days ago and will be stopping in from time to time.

Let me give you some background. I am 49 and am a computer programmer. I am also retired from the USAF Reserve. I make an OK income but nothing outstanding. I live in Atlanta. I am short, wear glasses and probably need to drop at least 15 pounds.

I'll make a long story short. In 1999 I read about the intro services in Cali on another site. I joined one and flew to Cali within a week over the 4th of July holiday.

On my 2nd night there I met a young lady in a disco. I was there with a group from the intro service. She had been a member previously and had been invited out by the office manager to meet the Americans who were in town. She was very attractive, 28, with long hair and a great body. She was so attractive I would probably never have approached her. Fortunately she asked me to dance.

We hit it off over the weekend. I came home, got on the internet and started working on a K-1 visa. I sent the paperwork to her to start working on things from her end. Of course we talked at least once and sometimes twice a week. I was a little leery and tried to get her to reveal if she had any ulterior motives to marrying me and coming to the U.S. I could find none.

I returned to Cali and met her family over Labor Day. Her father is a very nice guy. She has 3 sisters, one married with a small daughter, one divorced with a son and is a school teacher and one who was still in college at the time. Her father makes about $2000 US a year. They all live in the same small house and barely make it from week to week. Her mother was ill when I first met everyone and as since passed away.

I got an approval for the K-1 just before returning to Cali over Thanksgiving. She went to the US Embassy in Bogota for her medical exam and visa and arrive in the US in February, 2000. In April of that year we were married in Las Vegas.

We have been married 3 years and have had no major problems. She got her US Resident card (Green Card) without any problems.

She is a college graduate and is currently a Dept. Mgr at Wal-Mart.

She is loving, sexy, beautiful, devoted, honest. In short, everything most American guy would dream of having as a wife. We help her family but more at my insistance than hers. We have raised their standard of living by providing a washing machine (their first), new TV, VCR, mattresses and kitchen renovations. We also help with the bank note on the house and money for food and special occasions. My wife's annual salary is more than twice all of her family combined (when they get paid).

After 2 previous marriages to American women I am truly blessed to have met this woman.

All I can say is they are out there. I know I was very lucky. In fact if someone told me this story (either before they were married or now) I would question both the girl's motivation and the guy's sanity. But it is all true. In fact she has 3 other friends who have been married to guys in the US longer than us and all are doing fine.

Yes, there are the money-grubbing 'gasolineras' everywhere but if you seek you can find what you desire.

I will post some other things later like how to dress and some real life experiences she has told me about the intro service and meeting 'gringos'.
I will also post information on getting in and out of Cali.

If there are any specific questions I can help with let me know.
Good luck.

[greg]

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

Gooood successful story, we are both 49. I got some questions pls email me. thanks

[thundernco]

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

Congrats Big Wally!  Times can certainly get tough with these types of relationships and as with all things Colombian people hear more about the bad than the good.  Thanks for sharing your "success" story; all the best to you and your family!

[Cali vet]

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

Great story with happy ending, thanks for the post. What's a "gasolinera"? Fills up and drives off or something? Will be fun to hear the "chismes" about the agency experience.

[Big Wally]

... in response to Re: I guess I was just lucky., posted by Cali vet on May 5, 2003

A 'Gasolinera' is a women who is only interested in getting what she can from a guy. I'm not sure what the origin of the term is but if you ask someone from Cali they'll know what you mean.

I had to use a translator to get the English word for 'chismes' which was gadgets. I guess you're asking how the intro service (Latin Connection) worked.

First let me say Latin Connections is out of business. Someone on this board had asked about Ed Beckwith. He got tired of all the competition and felt he couldn't make any money so he got out of the business. I assume he is still living in Palm Beach, Fl with his Cali wife and daughter who should be about 6 by now.

He did make a transistion of sorts of his business into another web site called
http://www.aspiring-latin-models-inc.com/
with a former customer of Latin Connections.

As for my dealing with the intro service I really didn't have that much contact with them.

I first read about another guy's experience with Latin Connections and the ladies he had met. I exchanged a couple emails with him and he affirmed that it was all real.

I joined Latin Connections on the internet after talking to Ed on the phone. That was on a Monday and by Thursday I was in Cali. I was only going to be there until early Monday morning.

My intentions were to mainly see how things worked and if it was legit I would return. They had invited about a dozen ladies to meet me and the 8 othe guys who had come down that night. As things wound down that night I asked three of ladies if they wanted to go dancing. One had a car and two of them spoke some English.
The one who didn't speak English took an interest in me and asked me if we could go out the next night. I said OK even though I was only moderately interested in her.

The next day (Friday) I went to the office and started going through the notebooks of eligible ladies. I found two I wanted to meet and told one of the office girls who they were and would she try to arrange introductions for me, one on Saturday and one on Sunday.

That night I took my date to dinner and we then met up with the rest of the group at a disco. About midnight my date was fading out, from the wine I assumed, and her friend said we and she and her date were leaving. We only went about 1/2 mile and we pulled over. My date started to get out and I asked the driver where she was going. She replied, "She's going to take a taxi home and I'm taking you and Robert back to your hotel."

Well since it was only midnight on a Friday and things were just getting started and I was only going to be in town for two more days it took me about 10 seconds to decide to get a taxi back to the disco.

I walked in, sat down at the table where all the American guys and Cali girls from the agency were sitting and within 2 seconds a beauty across the table from me jumped up and said, "You came back, would you like to dance with me?"

Now I may be slow but I'm not stupid. I said yes and needless to say the rest is history.

Later that night when we dropped Robert off at the Latin Connection's office (he was staying in one of their rooms) I went to the office and took my request sheet. I found out the next day that of the two girls I wanted to meet one was on vacation and they couldn't reach the other one.

As it worked out I never needed to meet anyone else.

My new found love met me there the next evening and we went to dinner and met up with the crowd at the disco again.

The next day was the 4th of July. We met at my hotel and went to the zoo. We then ended up at the Latin Connection's office for the end of a cook-out. We then went to my hotel to spend some time together. I put her in a taxi at midnight and I went to bed only to rise at 5AM for my flight back to the USA.

The only other time I was in the Latin Connection's office was during my Labor Day visit when we dropped in just to say hello to the office manager who my future wife had know for a couple years.

So although my experience with the agency was brief I can say they were legit, I saw numerous photos and girls come and go and a professional photographer taking their photos for the notebooks.

I don't know if some of the claims of 'hundreds of girls' at the parties but my wife said she went to one once at the InterContinental Hotel in Cali and she said there really were a few hundred there all dressed up and all looking great.

They did have a small beauty contest for about a dozen of us on Saturday afternoon. There were about 20 girls in the contest and about another 20 watching. I found one I really would have liked to meet but it was ending about the time I had to rush back to the hotel to get ready for my date with my new love so I never followed through with talking to her.

I couldn't figure out how to post any photos here but anyone who sends me an email will get some:
wally3333@earthlink.net

[Craig]

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

It's great to hear a postive story like yours. I pray I have the same results.

[denvermike]

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Sorry to hear about experience, but most important lessons are learned the hard way.

Whenever I hear the stories of relationships gone bad on this forum, I wonder if the expectations of the man was unrealistic.  Let’s face it, what is the reason guys go to Colombia, to find someone they couldn’t find in the USA.  

From the woman’s point of view, why is she willing to leave her home, family, and all her lifelong friend, to live with an older guy and do housework, or something more romantic say love?  Not likely!  She wants something thing she can’t find in Colombia, whatever that is. It depends on the woman.  Your lady wanted lots of stuff and someone else to do the housework. I can’t blame her for trying.   On the other hand, I think a lot of the Colombian women have unrealistic expectations of finding a rich guy in an MOB agency.  But let’s face it, if you were rich you wouldn’t need to go south, you have plenty of American woman chasing you.  

I have dated lots of Latin women especially here in Chile where I live, and the majority are strongly materialistic in nature looking for a better life than they could have with your typical taxi driver. I was at my girlfriend's apartment she shared with a couple of other girls, and she said to me, I want more than this.  Why else would they date an older gringo??  Or maybe it is my wonderful personality and great sense of humor, yeah right!  I have lived here for about a year and half, and I have yet to find a woman that I would be willing to say “I do” with again.  But, I have had a great time looking.  

Remember that old saying, “Woman are Sex Objects and Men are Success Objects” that line goes double in Latin America.

Better luck next time,
mike

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by denvermike on May 5, 2003

Well spoken.  If the woman is young (under 35), attractive, without children she is definately looking for a man with a good combination of: prestige, youth, and money.  It dosen't really matter where the woman is from.  I always hear of the "green card sharks".  Correct me if I am wrong but it seems the "sharks" usually have children, or unatractive, or over 35 (sometimes a combination).

[Big Wally]

... in response to Re: Re: You guys were right I did not li..., posted by HeyNow on May 6, 2003

I can speak for my wife and 3 of her friends (all under 29 when they married) and all are in successful marriages and none of these guys have "prestige, youth or money".

None of the girls were really that anxious to leave Colomiba. They just went where their hearts led them.

[HeyNow]

... in response to HeyNow, I believe those are generalizati..., posted by Big Wally on May 6, 2003

Did they have children?