Some thoughts on meeting her parents/family.

[Big Wally]

More ramblings as I think of them.

If she wants you to meet her parents/family after one date that could be a sign that she is a little too eager to catch a guy. Beware of these flags.

If the family is a little too readily agreeable to having their baby run away to American with you that could also be a sign that they are looking for a suppliment to the family income. Of course these are generalizations but you should still be aware of them.

Then again if she's just head over heels about you it's a good sign if she wants you to meet her parents/family/friends because she wants their approval. It is a major step up in her eyes if she is inviting you into her home.

Also keep in mind she may be hesitant to invite you home for any number of reasons:

1. Her sister (or even she) was involved with a gringo and he broke her heart.

2. Her father or brother(s) hate Americans.

3. She is very poor and embarrassed for you to see where she lives.

Of course none of these will matter if she truly loves you but give her time to deal with it. Colombians are very proud people and they don't like to look bad. They think all American men are wealthy and might look down on a poor girl from Colombia.

In my situation I didn't meet her parents until my 2nd trip to Cali. My girlfriend was somewhat embarrassed for me to see how she lived but it was something that had to be done. She wouldn't let me go anywhere except the living room on the first couple of visits.

When I first went to meet her family she already had the VISA paperwork I had sent to her. Her father would not let her send it back to me until he had a chance to meet me. Of course I told her that was fine.

Keep in mine I only spoke very basic Spanish and no one in her family except her spoke any English. I was sitting there with sweat rolling down my face while they 'chatted' with me with my girlfriend acting as translator.

But of course they liked me and by the end of the week I had their blessing to marry their daughter. They treat me like family and it's always a great feeling to be so warmly greeted each time I go for a visit.

[Pete E]

... in response to Some thoughts on meeting her parents/fam..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

I agree in theory about the questions.But its complicated enough to make John Gray(men are fom mars,ect,ect,et.) wince.
Whoever wrote it knows nothning about Colombianas if he thinks they will put with 5% of that  number of questions about some pretty vauge issues.They are more into here and now than mind f---.
Keep it alot simpler than that.The main issues are:
1.Do you love each other?
2.Are your goals compatable ?
3.Is this a  person you can trust?
4.Is the person flexible enough to work it out from there?
You want to run that list on someone they need to have 10 years in encounter type groups first.And that makes them a bad bet.
I found an old notebook the other day I used when I was in a  new age type class about 12 years ago.What BS  I was telling myself.It was not realistic at all,just nonsense,and I wrote it.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to 10% of that will make her  yell  "L..., posted by Pete E on May 11, 2003

nt

[Cali vet]

... in response to Some thoughts on meeting her parents/fam..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

An extension of #3, I once dated a girl who lived in a barrio that was just too dangerous for a gringo to enter. Had they seen a gringo face there a crowd of street thugs would quickly gather and that would be all she wrote. Danger level can be a very legitimate excuse for not inviting you home.

[eddiemd]

... in response to Re: Some thoughts on meeting her parents..., posted by Cali vet on May 9, 2003

[This message has been edited by eddiemd]

If she is living in a barrio that is too dangerous for a gringo to enter then I would question the reasons for dating her in the first place. The only places that I have seen that are too dangerous to enter are either extremely poor, controlled by the cocaleros or FARC, or are designated red zones with known guerrilla activity. I wouldn't enter some zones without being armed, in a group, and with back-up available.

This goes for Colombia, Peru, Ecuador or Bolivia.

[Sam Club]

... in response to Re: Re: Some thoughts on meeting her par..., posted by eddiemd on May 9, 2003

Why are you involved in this, in the first place?  This whole process is about taking chances!  Are you scared to follow your "heart"?

[eddiemd]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Some thoughts on meeting her..., posted by Sam Club on May 10, 2003

My friend...who died and made you the judge about others. I am involved because I want to learn all about taking chances from experts like you. Tell us all about your time in south america...

Taking chances...I am sure that you are the expert. Why don't you enlighten us about taking chances?

[Sam Club]

... in response to There is a difference between common sen..., posted by eddiemd on May 11, 2003

Ok, I'll take up your invite!  I don't post much, because, it appears that I don't have much in common with many of the posters on this forum!  I have traveled extensively in Latin America and mostly in Colombia. Recently, I visited a women in Medellin who lived in Barrio Colón (very dangerous).  However, we have been communicating for over a month and the opportunity presented itself to make a trip.  The entire 4 days I was there, my friend's Mother was concerned with my safety.  Because I'm from a major urban area here in the States, I have learned to adapt to my surroundings and use common sense.

The entire time there, I felt no danger, actually I felt safer there than Dom. Rep.  At this point, not sure if I'll travel back to Medellin, because there was really no fireworks between her and I.  I will continue to explore the coastal cities of Colombia!  Later Dude!

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: Some thoughts on meeting her par..., posted by eddiemd on May 9, 2003

I have never been to Peru, Ecuador or Boliva but I travel to Cali Colombia often and I don't know of any barrios that are controlled by cocaleros or FARC. If there are I would sure like to know the names of them.

I have however dated women in Cali from very poor barrios where you have to yell at the taxi driver to enter the barrio because he is scared. The poorest barrios in Cali have roads that are dirt and just wide enough for a small taxi to get by and there are usually alot of guys standing around with no shirts on. Not exactly the ideal situation for a gringo that is all dressed up to go out on a friday night.

I see from your profile that you live in Arizona. I live in the Phoenix area. My next trip to Cali starts on the 26th of June. If you have any current experiances in Cali, I would like to talk with you. So send me an e-mail I'll send you my phone number.