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Author Topic: Hold the emails. Here is the list of "Questions for a Fiancee".  (Read 12145 times)
Big Wally
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« on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

This was a list a friend came up with for his Thai girlfriend. There are many though-provoking questions here. Some may not apply to your situation. You can take it together but be prepared for the results, both yours and hers.

It originally had his girlfrien's responses but I edited them out. If you see something that doesn't make sense it's probably something I messed up.

Just copy it from here and paste it into a WORD document.

QUESTIONS FOR A FIANCEE

There are two prerequisites to being ready for marriage. One, the timing is right: you're mentally ready to bond with another person and compromise forevermore. Two, you've found Miss Right. How do you know that this person is your proverbial soulmate? Ask questions..lots of them.

What are your favorite childhood memories?
What was your first real memory?
Did your family have any special or unusual traditions?
What were your favorite subjects in school?
What was your favorite grade in school?
Did you have any pets as a child?
Did your family ever go on any memorable vacations?
Did your family have any struggles as you were growing up?
Were your parents demonstrably affectionate with you or one another?
Did you like yourself as a child?
What things made you laugh?
What things scared you?
How did you get along with your brothers and sisters ?
How did you get in trouble?
How were you disciplined?
When was the first time you understood what it meant to die?
What parts of your childhood would you like to go back and relive?
What do you remember about your first day of junior high/middle school?
Who was your first crush? What qualities attracted you to him/her?
What did you do on dates?
Who educated you about sex?
Did you like yourself as a teenager?
What were your goals for the future?
How did being a young adult change your relationships with your parents?
Did you have after school jobs?
Did you have enough money?
What kinds of groups did you belong to in high school?
What would you say were your greatest accomplishments in high school?
In high school what were your greatest failures?
What were your favorite books growing up?
Compare yourself now to yourself as a teenager.
What is your relationship with your parents like now?
What # of children in the future would be ideal?
What do you consider to be your natural talents?
How would your friends answer that question about you?
Would you say that you are mainly an extrovert or introvert?
Are you a "morning person" or a "night person?"
Describe your daily schedule on a Saturday.
What one thing would you like to experience before you die?
What is one place you've never traveled to that you would like to see?
How do you feel about aging?
What is your perspective on death? Life after death?
How old were you when you went on your first date? Who was it with?

Did you go and what did you do?
How did you tell a guy that he's a bad kisser?
Would you ask a man out? Why or why not?
More than half of American marriages end in divorce. What do you think are some of the reasons for this?
Do women usually work after getting married in Thailand? Why or why not?
What's the worst thing that a guy before could do to annoy you when you
were on a date?
What would you want me to buy you on your birthday, anniversary, etc?
What were some signs that show you were not interested in pursuing the relationship any longer with your ex-boyfriends?
Do you like me to wear cologne? What do you like me to smell like?
What's the ultimate thing I could do to turn you on?
What's the most romantic thing I could do to you?
How do you show me that you like something...by telling me or smiling???
How do you get rid of a guys that like you, but that you didn't like?
Would you rather marry an experienced guy or with a virgin?
What did you do the day after a fantastic date? Did you call the guy or let him call you?
What do you do if we are eating dinner and I have food on my face? Do you mention it or how do you handle it?
If you really want to go out with a special guy before, did you ask him out or did you try to have a friend set it up so that he will ask you out?
Are you wear makeup now or do you like to go natural per your friends advice?
Have you ever gone out on a date with a guy you didn't really want to date? If so, why?
How did you get a really cute guy to ask you out?
Is a man less of a man in your eyes, if he cries? Why or why not?
What would you do in the past if you were on a date in a public place and  the guy that you are with starts acting like a real jerk and everyone starts looking at the two of you?
What did you do in your the past, if a real hot guy asks you out, but you already were
seeing someone on a regular basis? Did you go out with the hot guy anyway?
What is your ideal Saturday night?
If you could change your career, what would it be?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A favorite saying, you live your life by?
How excited are you about getting married to me?
What would you change in your life, if you could do it over again?
Was curious what your father does for a living?
What did your Grandmother call you when you were little?
Some of your nicknames?
What things do you love most in life?
What person did you hate the most? Why?
What is your purpose in life?
What do you love doing most in life?
Do you believe that "true love" conquers all problems?
When was the last time you cried, and why?
Who gave more in your relationship with Bob, and why?
What was the last thing you changed about yourself to become a better person?
What things do you do to make people like you?
In what areas are you untrusting of men? Why
How do you make new friends?
What do you do when you really get angry?
What have other people done to you that you have not been able to forgive or that you remain bitter about?
What did you do the last time you were really angry, and when did that take place?
How do you feel about a woman working after she has children?
What do you think the household duties are for me? For you?
How much do you think you should give to charity each year, and how much do you give?
What do you fear most in a relationship?
Have you ever lied to a man?
What would you have changed about your last relationship?
What qualities of character do you require in me?
On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate yourself in appearance and character?
What flirtatious ways did you use to do, to attract a dating partner?
What are your best attributes?
On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your self-esteem? Why?
What do you like and dislike about yourself?
What did you do if a guy before says he'll call you but it's been a couple  of weeks and he still had not called? Did you call him? How long does it take before you wrote him off? How did you feel if he never called?
If you had met a guy who is not the greatest looker, but who was sweet and a gentleman, but your friends think thought the guy's a dork, did you go out  with the guy and possibly get a bad rep?
How important is it what your friends think of who you date? marry?
What did you do when you ere going out on a date with a real cute and nice  guy, but when he comes over to pick you up, he showed up in a cattle truck,  his parents old station wagon, or a real trashed car?
What do you do if you've made plans for the night with your best friend to rent a bunch of movies, and eat a ton of junk food, but I called and asks  you out for the same night?
How do you get rid of a ex-bf who won't leave you alone, keeps asking you out, following you around, and seems to be around wherever you look? Do you tell him off, ignore him, or go out with him just to get him to stop  hassling you?
Did you ever fool around with a guy after you broke up with him?
What if it  was him that broke up with you, did it make a difference?
If you had just broken up with a guy that you've been dating for a long time and you were really depressed, did you ever go out with a really cute guy if he asked you out?
Do you think that playing hard to get before is attractive, proper, or needed in the Thai culture?
Have you ever played hard to get when you really wanted to fool around with the guy?
Do you like it when I'm totally crazy about you?
Did you like a little challenge when pursuing a guy before that you were interested in?
Do you get mad when I talk to other girls? Why or why not?
Do you like me to take the lead or do you like to lead?
Do you ever tell a guy that you loved him when you did not really mean it?
Why or why not?
How can you tell when a guy likes you?
What makes you jealous of me?
What would you do in the past, if you found out your boyfriend had been cheating on you?
If a guy before didn't return any of your calls, what would you do?
Have you ever asked a guy to a prom? Would you?
What is the first thing you notice about a guy when you see him?
Have you ever not called a guy when you told him you would? If so, why not?
Have you ever gone further with a guy that you really wanted to? If so, what  did you do on the next date?
If you had been serious with a guy and making it with him for awhile, but you decide that you want to see if he's interested in more than just your body, how did you tell the guy that you're not putting out any more, but that you still want to be serious with him?
Did you more or less ever make out with a guy in front of your friends?
Why?
Did you find it hard to talk to a guy before about your feelings for him?

Have you ever been caught checking out another guy when you're out on a date with a boyfriend before?
What makes a guy irresistible?
Did you ever insist on paying for a date even if the guy says "no"? Why or why not?
Did you play hard to get before? Why or why not?

What made you lose interest in a guy?
How did you tell a guy friend that you wanted more than just friendship?
Do you like a guy to lead during the kiss?
Have you ever gone out on a blind date? If so, what was it like?
Where were you born?
If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you want with you?
Your is favorite movie?
Who do you most admire?
What would you like to say to that person?
Who are you voting for in your election and why?
How many dates do you think a couple should go on before having sex? and why?
What draws the line between just having sex and making love?
What's it like making love with each other?
Have you ever felt that you were used when you had sex?
What was it like the first time that you had sex?
What does the word "sex" mean to you?
Have you ever had sex before when you didn't really want to? If so, why?
How long would you go out with a person before you would have sex with them?
What kind of music do you like making love to?
If you could make love anywhere you wanted, where would you choose?
You and your date before are at a party and you go up to a room and he wanted to have sex but you didn't. What do you do?
If you have sex with a guy before on a date, how did you feel the day afterwards?
How did you feel the next time you are with the guy?
Does it make a difference of whether or not you really wanted to have sex with the guy?
How do you tell your date before that you would not have sex with him?
Would  you resort to violence if he tried to force himself on you or did you let him do what he wants?
How far was too far on your first date?
What are your biggest sexual and non-sexual turn ons?
Do you feel that sex brings a relationship closer or just makes it more complicated? How do you feel about having sex?
How did you know if it is the right time to have sex?
How would you deal with it when a guy that you haven't slept with tells everyone that he has slept with you?
Why do girls insist on "love" prior to having sex? Is this how you feel?
When you have sex, were you always sexually satisfied? If not, would you have sex with the guy again?
What's it like to be a woman?
What's it like wearing a dress?
Why are girls always so emotional?
What's it like to have period? Are you cranking during your period?
What do you talk about when you get together with your friends?
What are your measurements?
Did you ever try drugs?
What kind of activities do you do?
What's your favorite sport to play? To watch?
Did you ever drink alcohol? Why or why not?
Do you ever swear? Why or why not? Never heard you!!
How would your friends describe you?
What kind of stuff is in your bedroom?
What are your favorite things and how did you get them?
Do you watch a lot of TV? If so, what programs do you like?
How do you like to dress when you want to look hot?
How do you like to dress when you want to feel comfortable?
What does the word "love" mean to you?
Where would you like to live if you could live anywhere at all?
If you could be anybody, who would you be?
What goes through your head when you see someone wasted or high on drugs?
What do you think when you see a couple making out in public?
Where is your favorite place to be kissed? lips, neck, back of your neck, back, stomach, sides of your body, other?
What are you most self conscious about?
How can you tell if a person is homosexual?
What is your favorite dream?
What is your worst nightmare?
Would you ever have an abortion?
Do you like a guy with earrings?
Have you ever had a fight with a guy? Was it verbal, physical, or both?
Have you ever had a cat fight with another girl? Was it physical? Who won? What was it about?
How old do you think our Daughter should be before she dates? How bout our son?
Would you talk to our daughter about sex, her period? If so at what age?
How about our son? Do you think I should talk to him and if so at what age?
If you felt that one of our 16 year old children were fooling around,behind our backs, would you give him or her condoms to be on the safe side ?
Do you feel that children should work in the summer or after school to appreciate money more? If so, at what age?
Do you believe when a child misbehaves that the best method of correcting them is a 5 minute Time out rather than hitting them?
Would you want to take them to the temple at a young age or wait till they are old enough to decide for themselves what religion if any they accept?
Our three year old daughter is not eating at meal time, what would you do?
You receive a call that our 14 year old son is being held at the police station as he was caught spray painting cars. He will be release to our custody. What would you recommend we do, when he gets home?
At what age should teenagers be allowed to drive? What age should a car be given to them?
What age should they own a computer? A mobile phone? TV and VCR?
What age should our daughter be allowed to have a sleep over party?
How old should they be before they are allowed to drink alcohol?
If you caught our 14 year old daughter smoking cigarettes, what would you do?
How old should be before she makes up her own mind, if she could or not?
Our 17 year old daughter is pregnant, would you recommend an abortion or have the baby?
Our 18 year old son wants to go to to a casa (brothel) to celebrate his birthday, would you say yes or no?
Public or private schools?
How old before they need to have their own apartment and should be financially responsible?
Our 12 year old son wants to compete as a Thai Kickboxer and comes to you for approval. What would you say to him? How about football, basketball?
Our 10 year old daughter is a cheerleader and attends many club meetings. She is very popular and very busy every night and comes home at 6:30 exhausted. What would you say to her, when her report card turns out to be bad?
Do you believe in preschool?
You are approached by a talent agent. He wants to be the agent of our 5 year old son. He thinks our son could be in a sitcom movie. The tv show pays $5,000 per week. The only requirement would be, that he has a private tutor in the afternoon as he will not have time for schooling. What would you say?
Our 25 year old daughter is going to get married. She is very happy and he seems to be a great guy. Would you request a dowrey?
If your answer is no.. what if he was a guy you really didn´t like as a Parent, would you request one then ?
You are cleaning the room of our 16 year old son and you find pot, what would you do?
How much if any should a child get for an allowance per week? a teenager? If so, should it be tied to performance of a report card, test, cleaning up their room?
Our 18 year old daughter was in a bad car accident. At the hospital you find she is on a life support system, her brain is no longer functioning. The doctor is recomending that they stop the machine but they need your approval first. Do you sign?
Our 18 year old daughter receives a full 4 year scholorship to Harvard University. How would you reward her?
How old before they are allowed to go to summercamp?
When looking at the 6 month old unborn baby inside you, the Doctor states their is a 85% chance that our daughter will be mentially retarded, would you want to abort?
Our 20 year old son is bored with college and wants to start his own company. What would you say to him?
If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?
What makes you feel important?
What do you expect of me sexually?
What did you dislike most about previous partners?
What is and what is not cheating?
In what ways are we different?
At what point in a marriage do you feel divorce is appropriate?
When do you need space away from me?
I´m aware of one large group which will lend 10 million to fix up the a hotel...in return they get the collaterial of 4 million in tax credits to be applied towards the loan. They also will give $1,000,000 up front for a contract of 10 years where they get a management fee of 3% a year. Your thoughts...

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papa suave
Guest
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

In my opinion, a questionnaire like this will drive her right out the door. It's like an interrogation. These things can easily be found out through normal conversation at a very casual pace.
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Pete E
Guest
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

Been there,done that,again and again.It was f--king useless.I have spent more than my share of time in classes and groups that made up lists like that.The end result was nothing,I was still in the same old place.It was like I never did it it was so useless.
So if you still think stuff like that will help you "manifest the love of your life."  (I know a lady who made a  living with a course with that title,and a long list like you posted)then you are still into US mind f--- type BS that gets most people no place.I saw a very few people find someone with that.You would do better at the mall.
You have to get beyond that,out of your HEAD,in to REALITY,
then maybe you are ready for a Colombiana.Believe me,they will not be impressed at all.You can't run that BS on them.Its like trying to  teach a fish to fly.You have to keep it simple,to the point,here and now.It doesn't work here and it sure as hell doesn't work there.They will think you are f---king crazy,which,if you look at it from outside the BS ,as in looking back to what it has got you so far,might be an arguable conclusion.

Pete

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stefang
Guest
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Been there,done that,cut  the crap, posted by Pete E on May 12, 2003

With the amount of questions asked above the woman should get a Bachelors degree in social science with a minor in psycology.
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Pete E
Guest
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

I agree in theory about the questions.But its complicated enough to make John Gray(men are fom mars,ect,ect,et.) wince.
Whoever wrote it knows nothning about Colombianas if he thinks they will put with 5% of that number of questions about some pretty vauge issues.They are more into here and now than mind f---.
Keep it alot simpler than that.The main issues are:
1.Do you love each other?
2.Are your goals compatable ?
3.Is this a person you can trust?
4.Is the person flexible enough to work it out from there?
You want to run that list on someone they need to have 10 years in encounter type groups first.And that makes them a bad bet.
I found an old notebook the other day I used when I was in a new age type class about 12 years ago.What BS I was telling myself.It was not realistic at all,just nonsense,and I wrote it.

Pete


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Bueller
Guest
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

Wally, I'm confused by the final question:

"I´m aware of one large group which will lend 10 million to fix up the a hotel...in return they get the collaterial of 4 million in tax credits to be applied towards the loan. They also will give $1,000,000 up front for a contract of 10 years where they get a management fee of 3% a year. Your thoughts..."

 Why would you ask her that?

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Michael B
Guest
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Hold the emails. Here is the list of..., posted by Bueller on May 10, 2003

Why to see if she is a good real estate speculator, of course...We certainly don't want to marry a woman who can't pull her weight on the 'financial end', do we?

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eddiemd
Guest
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

[This message has been edited by eddiemd]

Big Wally,

The list is very thorough. Over a period of several months some of the topics can be explored. Too many questions, too much psychobabble. Nothing will substitute for time spent togther.
The problem is that most doing the MOB search can't speak spanish and the ladies rarely speak enough english to hold any type of intellectual conversation. Besides, I have seen guys go south, meet a lady, fall in lust, and get married without having spent more than a week in the company of the lady...oh, yeah...you corresponded with her for 6 months and had a few broken conversations on the phone. That must be love...

If one cannot speak spanish and the lady cannot speak english there will be no intellectual connection. Most guys going to Cali are thinking with the little head...that means no intellectual connection. And the ladies in the MOB clubs know the deal, they can pick out the meal tickets in a heartbeat.

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Hiker
Guest
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

This are great questions if looking for an employee.  As far as looking for a wife I would loose interest in a woman who would actually answer all these.  A woman who would participate in this would have to be desperate and void of pride.

Of course this could be a good idea for a guy who wants to meet a girl and then marry her two weeks later.  Personally I would prefer to learn the other person without analyzing them.  

Just my .02

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Big Wally
Guest
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Hold the emails. Here is the list of..., posted by Hiker on May 9, 2003

I didn't write these. I merely posted them here to be used as someone sees fit.

These are a list of questions someone can use throughout the process of finding a WIFE! They won't all be pertinent to everyone. They are SUGGESTED questions to be used over the course of meeting and getting to know a woman for MARRIAGE. They don't even have to be poised as questions but merely conversation starters.

Some guys are not so shallow as to marry someone base on looks alone. They want to get to know the woman they will marry on a more intellectual level. Apparently some guys haven't delved into that area.

If you guys that think this is not useful I guess you already have it all figured out. If so then why are you on this site?

Remember, an employee can be fired. A wife, hopefully, is for life.

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papa suave
Guest
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Dude, I didn't expect anyone to just beg..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

Wally, we know your intentions are good. You came onto this forum with a bang with some great stories and great advice. All went well until the first shred of negative feedback toward one of your posts. That immediately put you into defensive mode and you responded with sarcastic insults. There is really no need for this. People can take your post or leave it. I prefer to leave it but that's just me. Lighten up a little and thicken your skin. Your way of finding a wife is no better than anyone else's. You are one of the lucky ones, congratulations. It doesn't make you wiser or better than the other gringos who have been doing this. Myself personally, I would never marry a woman after having known her for 4 hours, that's just me but it is working for you and I am happy for you.
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Hiker
Guest
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Dude, I didn't expect anyone to just beg..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

I have seen this same list in Cali.  It got passed around via email and some guys would actually show up for an appointment and ask the girl to answer these questions, and would give her a pen.  I find that to be in very poor taste.  I would suggest including some ink blots on paper and ask them what they see when they look at them.  :-)  

Please explain how having a girl answer these questions will assist you in knowing her on a "more intellectual level".  Why do you think that a guy who finds it poor class to give a woman a "test" to be shallow?  Why do you presume this same person wants to marry a woman on looks alone?

You said:
"If you guys that think this is not useful I guess you already have it all figured out. If so then why are you on this site?"

Are you saying that if I do not find your list useful then I should not be on this site?

I am on this site to glean the information I need and to assist others with what information I have.  I am not so arrogant as to believe that my way is the only way.  I have been to Latin America many times and I took this process very slow.  I only know what works for me.  BUT I do know I have seen several guys show up conducting his search with all sorts of "scientific wisdom".  For me it is easy.  It is called a date.  You don't treat em like the winner gets the prize.    


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jim c
Guest
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Don't get your pantys in a wad.  , posted by Hiker on May 9, 2003

I concur, Many women find the process embarassing enough having to answer personal questions from someone they do not know. I have observed guys taking notes on people from the books and then referring to them during their interviews. They actually write down the responses to their questions as if the one with the highest score will be the one that loves them and stays with them forever.
   It is after all a two sided search in which the lady in question has a choice who she will pick. The feeling of a ethnocentric retentive american doing a psych test on one  does little to instill confidence of a loving, passionate relationship in a Calanas mind.
   If this is the same list that was used in the past it was written by Abrutha who I met at the  Chrystal Palace. He was an efficiency expert and serious about the search, but a fun guy.
   It takes all kinds But I prefer seduction Vs deduction. Like who seduces who. Did I seduce her first or did she seduce me into seducing her. Won't that make the boy's heads spin. a great thread for the future. JIM C
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Cali vet
Guest
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Dude, I didn't expect anyone to just beg..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

But Wally you are here and you, having a successfull marriage, seem to "have it all figured out". Some of us like yourself come to this site to ruminate.
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Cali vet
Guest
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Hold the emails. Here is the list of &qu..., posted by Big Wally on May 9, 2003

Wally please translate into Spanish and re-post. Thanks.
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