Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!!

[Cali vet]

... in response to Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!!, posted by Aaron on Apr 22, 2003

Thanks Aaron. I actually met one girl in B/quilla who planned to hold out on her novio till the wedding. He hung in there for a long time but in the end found himself another girl. I think waiting for the wedding before having sex would be a pretty unusual scenario in Cali.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!!, posted by Cali vet on Apr 23, 2003

No sex before the wedding is pretty common amoung those of us who just go for it and marry the woman right away.I never
in a million years would have done that here.But there I bought the story that alot of these girls were very resistant to sex before marriage.Even Bud who owned Latin Love admitted he went for this and like me said no one could have told him he would go for that.I remember my wife giving me the story she needed the benediction of her god.
I even commnented at the time that even with some of the girls with kids some Colombiano had had to put alot of time in to that effort,and most gringos don't have that kind of time.
Anyway I did what I never would have dreamed of doing here.I just went for it in good faith that of course there would not be a problem in this area with a woman who's life I was changing so much for the better.And that was not a good idea in retrospect,without elaborating further in public.Pretty stupid in retrospect actually.Maybe it is Karma for all the girls I had one night stands with and then never called.
If a guy lives there like you it can become more like a longer term dating situation like here where sex almost always occurs before marriage.There are alot of advantages for the guy here.You could talk about the buying the cow story like Aaron,but you could also talk about try before you buy,which I think is excellent consumer advice.
A group called the Georgia Satelites had a song about a girl who holds out for marriage.I forget the title,it was hilarious "she told me a story about free love and a cow,then said don't give me no jive and keep your hands to yourself".
I think living there has given you a different experience than many of us.Its a big advantage if a guy can do it.
And Aaron,I have to admire your approach in a way.But I would never do it that way again.Its just too important to ignore or just hope its going to be OK.You could wind up spending alot of time staring at the ceiling.

Pete

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Re: Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!!, posted by Pete E on Apr 23, 2003

[This message has been edited by wizard]

Truth be known, many women in Colombia think ALL gringos are players... Only coming to LA looking for easy women and a good time... Can you blame them??? I don't think so... For every horror story we hear about a "scammer" from LA, there are probably 10 stories about the norte americano players trolling through the local women... I've heard more than my share from girls there...

It's the old cliche... A man will try to bed a woman on the first date, but if he is truly interested, he hopes that the woman declines... No one wants an easy woman, just like no woman wants a player for a husband... But men try, 1. because they're horny and 2. they want to see if they're dating an easy woman who is not marriage material...

This is, after all, what many of these girls are trying to escape... Unfaithful Colombianos...

[Edge]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!..., posted by wizard on Apr 23, 2003

gringos like to do "strange" sexual acts.  I had to laugh when my wife told me that.  I am not sure where this reputation comes from - probably from a lot of the guys on this board - but certainly not me. ha ha

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!!, posted by Pete E on Apr 23, 2003

Pete-I would agree that taking the physical part of the relation on faith is just adding more risk to an already very risky venture. This discussion has occurred before but I'm convinced that calenas are definately less conservative about sex than costenas.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Re: Cali Vet, try this one !!!!!!, posted by Pete E on Apr 23, 2003

I posted the cow and milk saying to show that in the USA we have sayings that are more or less similar to those of Colombia. The content of the saying wasn't the real issue that I was getting at.

The real reasons why I adopted my position towards sex before marriage are as follows:

1.) My sexual escapades started as a teenager (14), and after encounters, I would feel guilty for days about the possibility of blowing my options in life, and missing opportunities.

2.) I became really interested in strengthing my personal fortitude and resilience based strictly on my principles and ethics. So, I wanted to see if I could put myself to the test to see how strong my commitment is to my principles. Actually, it's more or less an experiment for myself.

I don't see anything wrong with a guy and girl having sex before marriage. That's fine, and in most respects it is normal behavior, barring religious convictions that claim it shouldn't be done.

Aaron

[lswote]

... in response to Pete...., posted by Aaron on Apr 23, 2003

You know when I was 29 I was somewhat clueless too, so maybe I shouldn't be so hard on you.  But when I was 29 I didn't regularly hang out with a crowd much older than myself either so I could be forgiven to some extent.  But you post platitudes like they have been tried by the ages and the truth of the matter is you don't know anything and your advice is so off-base I think most 10 year olds could give smarter advice.

You say you became interested in strengthening your personal fortitude.  On the face of it that sounds like a commendable thing, but it should be something that enhances who you are AND doesn't interfere with normal emotional development.  Maybe if you want to become a Monk, you can afford to sacrifice normal experiences for the aesthetic, but you don't sound like a monk and I don't think you have done yourself any favors but hiding your head in a barrel and avoiding sex.  Living life to the fullest means being honest with yourself, admitting your weakness as well as strengths and accepting those weaknesses, not running from them.  You may be lucky and find a girl who also has the same belief system you do ... and every once in awhile it snows in the summer in Iowa.  I would put your chances of success at about the same as an Iowa snowstorm in summer.  I think you would be smarter to can the guilt, throw away the teen magazines and join the rest of the adults.

[Aaron]

... in response to Like that movie "Clueless" do ..., posted by lswote on Apr 23, 2003

Iswote,

I'm saying this not to be offensive, but to look out for you.

You met and married a very nice lady it sounds. I suggest that you spend more time with her, rather than posting on this board. Your wife will lead the way better than any of these hard leg posters, including myself.

The worst thing that could happen is that you keep reading the nonsense that others post, and become misled down the wrong path.

Chao,
Aaron