which is best

[Mark33]

... in response to Re: failed marriages, posted by Yalg on Apr 26, 2003

I agree that many times the failed marriages are due to the men's lack of common sense. There are some men who actually will convince themselves that an 18-25 year old is mature,and she will not change over time. The odd part is,some of these men are in their 50's and 60's.They should know better. Instead of looking into the future,and using examples from life, they choose to wear a blindfold and think they will be the exception.The girls are too young to understrand they may change over time and want completely different things 10 years from now.
   How many of us thought we knew what we wanted in our late teens or early 20's? Almost all of us. But we really did not know squat! We are totally different people today.
   Also the guys who look for models,but cannot get a date in the U.S.with a girl that rates above a 5.
  The perverts,the drug and alchohol abusers and the guys who lie about their financial situations. Most of these girls have an idealistic view about the U.S. and what life is like here.They think we are all rich,and some will marry a man to get out of poverty.
   I made sure I chose a woman who was educated and wants to work together to better our future. She is not a child, but 29. I also made sure to explain to her that life in the U.S. is expensive and she will HAVe to work also though my income can provide well for us. But if we want to raise children, send them off to Catholic school,College,send them on vacation to her parents in the summer(Philippines,so they can know their culture) and buy a bigger house it will have to be that way.2 incomes.
   I do not want her having unrealistic expectations. Also, I made sure she knows exactly who I am.

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Re: failed marriages, posted by Mark33 on Apr 26, 2003

I think you should include men in their 40s in that list marrying 18-25 year-olds.  It seems to be very common and IMHO the primary reason most of the divorces are happening.  Congratulations on choosing someone near your own age.  That makes at least two of us now.

Many men go down hell bent of marrying the young beautiful woman they can't get here.  "The women there mature faster,"  "Marriages of young women to older men is common there."  These women do not mature faster and though marriages of young women to older men is more common there, it's also harder to find a young man with the financial ability to support a family.  Notice that very few of the ladies already here are looking for much older men.  That's when you see their true preferences.  I'm not saying that a man in his forties can't make a marriage to a woman in her twenties work, but I am saying that in my opinion (and I've seen quite a few of them in my 7 years) they are at higher risk for failure.

Look for character and compatibility.  Look for love and don't let the little head do the thinking.

[Mark33]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: failed marriages, posted by Patrick on Apr 26, 2003

Patrick,
    My fiance and a few of the other Filipinas I had previously written to thought my age was a plus. Most told me much older men were the only ones writting to them.But then again, it seems they tell the much older men that age does not matter:)
   My fiance and I have also had this discussion. She says she sees "many old white men" in marriages with young Filipinas who are not really in love with the men. She does not blame many of the women who sometimes have little education and no option. She does not judge, but has told me I cannot imagine the level of poverty many people there live with,and will do anything to get out of.There are women who will marry the first man who asks to better the lives of their parents and younger siblings.It is a sacrifice but they willingly do it.
    She considers herself very lucky to have found a man close to her age. She thinks she is very old because she will be 30 soon.But she honestly looks 10 years younger. She cannot believe I did not choose an 18-19 year old girl because it would have been easy.
   As I told her, I was looking for a woman in the same stage of life I was. I wanted us both to grow together. raise a family.I was also in search of true love not a trophy to show off to my friends.
 My fiance is so affectionate with me,and proud to be with me I could not have asked for more. She never ask me for anything. I just cannot figure out why so many men are obsessed with age instead of charecter. Some want the youngest woman they can get. That can only lead to trouble because their intent is not to find true love, but a hot piece of arm candy.

[Celt]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: failed marriages, posted by Mark33 on Apr 26, 2003

I think the short answer to your question is 5000 years
of social-conditioning, and about 50 million of genetic-
encoding.

[Hiker]

... in response to Re: Re: failed marriages, posted by Mark33 on Apr 26, 2003

[This message has been edited by Hiker]

Yeah I did the same thing.  I really wanted my wife to understand that I wasn't "rich".  She said she didn't care.  That was about a year ago.  A couple of months before we married she lauged and told me that I had painted a picture in her mind that I owned no furniture and had all my clothes in cardboard boxes.  I guess I went a little overboard trying to ensure she did not have too high of expectations.

I knew a girl in Colombia who was very interested in a guy she had been writing on the internet.  He made his first trip to Cali while I happened to be there.  She asked me and my wife to do a double date with them on their first outting.  The guy brought photos of his home, boat, car, etc.  None of his daughter etc.  He even brought some financial records.  The girl asked me in spanish to tell him that she was not for sale and she left.  After talking to the guy I felt that he really had the right intentions and that he was seriously trying to show her that he had the means to take care of her, but he blew the entire thing.  I have met more girls in Cali that I felt had a good heart then I did players.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: failed marriages, posted by Yalg on Apr 26, 2003

All this talk of the Colombian women trying to leave has me wondering.  The only ones I met that were "good to go" were the ones with kids (or the older ones).  The attractive young ones (less than 35 years old) without kids are in no rush.  This has been my experience.  My first trip was 2002, so maybe years ago the scene was different.  I will agree that some of the ones with children will hit an you pretty hard.  I had an 18 year old (she had a 5 month old daughter) tell me she was interested in me.  When I told her how old I was she said "no problemo".  Of course it would be mucho problemo.    

justmy2cents
HeyNow

[Jeff S]

... in response to which is best, posted by snap38 on Apr 24, 2003

Opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks. If you're looking for a wife, pick a country that you have a strong interest in the culture and traditions, and one who you respect, appreciate, and feel comfortable around the people, (not necessarily the government,) their language, and religion. In spite of the many posts about the minute details of women's bodies and faces you find on this board, there are very beautiful and very ugly women everywhere. Likewise, there are loyal, devoted, virtuous ladies, and there are deceptive, nasty hos everywhere. It'll be your, not so easy task, to first separate the two, then select from the keepers, one who is compatable and attractive, and that you have strong feelings for. Finally, you have to hope she feels the same way about you. It's not like shopping for a new car where you can get a copy of Consumer Reports and compare.

Just my smelly opinion, your mileage may vary.

- Jeff