Money, Power, and Fame

[Yalg]

I had a couple friends over today and the conversation turned to latin women (what else).  BTW, this is not a bash Colombia or LA thread.  

We started talking about LA women and American women.  I think we can generally agree that women are most attracted to money, power, and fame.
If a woman has her choice, most times she will go for the guy with the above traits as opposed to the "nice, sweet guy who loves her."  Here in America we know that very well, but I believe it pertains to women the world over.  Which is what started us thinking about this whole foreign wife search.  I am not against obviously, but I like to go into these things with my eyes open as opposed to having them closed.

I believe that as a gringo, we have money, power, and a bit of fame when we travel to LA, Colombia specifically.  You could say that the only reason the women are attracted to us, at least initially, is for this reason.  Maybe its the only reason.  Who knows.  You could then make the stretch that Colombian women, or any women for that matter, are identical to American women.  We would like to believe that they are attracted to us because we are somehow "different" than the local men, but you could say that the only real difference is that we have money and power to go there and then bring them back with us and provide the life the locals cant.  So basically they are being sold to the highest bidder, just as hot looking American women are.  How many 10's in American are married to plumbers? They go for the highest bid they can get.  My friend said to me in a very honest moment that when a woman looks across the kitchen table at the guy in front of her she can honestly say to herself, "this is the best that I could do."  

So, whats the point...After thinking about this over a few beers I feel like this whole deal is not what we really think it is.  We want to fool ourselves into believing that the Colombian women are somehow special and different but in reality, they are the same as any women.  I think the only reason we go there is to find young, hot women who will accept us because here, young and hot American will not due to our age, income and lifestyle.  But in Colombia, we are considered rich and powerful so we can get the hotties.  It makes me wonder if they are just using the guys who go there for a better life and love is at the bottom of the list of priorities.  I think its better to accept this before you go and not be blinded by hot promises you have no way of confirming.  I have seen alot of guys being taken to the cleaners down there and its not pretty.  I wonder just how many guys are being taken for a ride......?  

I think the number of women who value love and sincerety above the big three are few and far between and you have to search and search hard to find them.  Good luck, you will need it......

[Hamlet]

... in response to Money, Power, and Fame, posted by Yalg on Apr 5, 2003

Yalg,

It seems you are referring to atavism, and yes, everyone is affected by it regardless of culture.

(atavism: recurrence in an organism of a trait or character typical of an ancestral form and usually due to genetics)

Women are genetically programmed to seek men who can provide for a family, and money, power and fame help in doing this.

Hamlet

[Patrick]

... in response to Money, Power, and Fame, posted by Yalg on Apr 5, 2003

I think the key is not to go for the "hot women" you mentioned, but instead go for a good woman (from whatever country you prefer).  The guys who single-mindedly pursue the young hotties are the ones who have much lower chances of success IMHO.  Young beautiful women tend to be immature and high maintainence, no matter what country they come from.

If more guys were into this because they like the women of a particular culture rather than thinking they'll pick up that young hottie "because she's desparate to get out," then more men would have successful marriages.

[lswote]

... in response to Wise choices and realism, posted by Patrick on Apr 6, 2003

I have to agree Patrick, though I would like to mention something I myself haven't seen anyone say.  I think there is the need to separate the word "hot" from "beautiful".  I think I felt the two meant the same thing and when I first read your advice, I was put off from taking it because I thought "who wants to be with a woman who isn't beautiful?".  But the thing I found out, and perhaps I had never learned it before because I never had experience with so many beautiful women before, is that a woman can be beautiful without being "hot".  My wife, who is 33, is very beautiful, but not particularly hot.  She has beautiful hair, lovely skin, a beautiful face, a fabulous smile, a sexy body, but she just isn't the kind of woman that the first thing that comes to your mind is "I want to jump this woman's bones".  I didn't pay attention to her the first time I met her because she didn't speak English and didn't strike me as very hot.  But after getting burned by an English speaking hottie, I broaded my scope and then got to know my wife.

You don't need with some dog to be happy, there are plenty of beautiful women to pick from, but the hots ones that just seeth sexuality are most likely to be interested in you for the wrong reasons.

[stefang]

... in response to Money, Power, and Fame, posted by Yalg on Apr 5, 2003

With my girlfriend I explained to her that America in many ways has the same problems as Brasil. I told her you have rich, middle, and poor. Apparantly she doesn't care much about what I make because when we first started writing she really wanted to see me and said she would pay for my hotel to come and visit her. Doesn't sound like a money hungry woman to me.

[Michael B]

... in response to Money, Power, and Fame, posted by Yalg on Apr 5, 2003

Guess we haven't been meeting the same Latina women, what can I say? The ones I've met all want to be assured that you can keep food on the table, the rent paid and the electricity turned on, but they didn't ask for much beyond that and didn't even ask that until they were sure the first three items were to their liking.

[JunFan]

... in response to Respect, Faithfulness and Kindness, posted by Michael B on Apr 6, 2003

The only latin woman you have dated "in-country" is the one that you courted by mail for months on end.  The only other girls you have 'met' are ones you wrote letters to, emailed, or talked to on the phone.  Pssssst, those don't count.

You put all your eggs in one basket, so don't try to act like you surveyed the field when in reality you did nothing of the sort.

[lswote]

... in response to What do you mean, meet?, posted by JunFan on Apr 6, 2003

[This message has been edited by lswote]

Man, you are a mean spirited fellow.  But since you thought Michael B. unqualified to speak for many ladies since he didn't really "meet" many, let me pipe in since I DID meet many.  I would say over half the hundred or so women I met and talked to in the course of my time at Latin American Introductions in Bogota (I am talking about the ones I actually had some kind of meaning conversation with, I met hundreds more) expressed exactly what Micheal B. said.  They wanted a man who would be faithful and treat them well.  The rest of what they wanted was very flexible, and power, fame and wealth wasn't anywhere on their agenda.

[rob4050]

... in response to Re: What do you mean, meet?, posted by lswote on Apr 7, 2003

Hi Bruce. Would you mind contacting me offline? I would greatly appreciate it.
n3272w@nospam.com

Thanks,
Rob

[Yalg]

... in response to Re: What do you mean, meet?, posted by lswote on Apr 7, 2003

Nobody is going to come right out and say it.  You paint a too simple picture of it all.  A woman is not going to lay her cards on the table like that, its ridiculous to think that all the women you met in Bogota were not the least bit interested in money. I dont believe you.  Maybe you are naive enough believe everything a woman says to you but I have lived long enough to know they tell you very VERY little at these little introductions.  Everyone puts on their best face and says what the guy wants to hear.  C'mon, grow up man.  You cant be this ignorant.  Money, power, and wealth not anywhere on their agenda?  Tell us another one.....

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Re: What do you mean, meet?, posted by Yalg on Apr 7, 2003

Please read these messages more carefully before you post something so unkind about someone will you?  I said "over half", not all.  I agree there is a fair proportion of women that truely are looking for what status and wealth an American man can convey, but I think there is an even larger proportion of women who just want a decent man.  For this group that I am talking about, and I am NOT say ALL, just this group; money, power and wealth isn't on their agenda anymore than it is on yours or mine or most people.

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What do you mean, meet?, posted by lswote on Apr 7, 2003

The money, power and fame motivation of some of the ladies is matched by the "sex appeal, sex appeal, and sex appeal" motivation of some of the men.

Neither seems like a good criteria for picking a mate.  Thank God that doesn't describe every woman and every man.

[Michael B]

... in response to What do you mean, meet?, posted by JunFan on Apr 6, 2003

Thought you got relegion or went deep sea fishing or found more AW's then you can keep up with, or all of the above, didn't know you still have time to worry about my affairs.

But since you bring it up, if it will make you happy, I'll change the word 'meet' to 'speak with'. That doesn't change the attributes they said they wanted in a man one penny worth, now does it? And if I can tell over the phone that a particular woman definetly isn't going to be 'the one', why would I waste a trip visiting her? Now don't try to twist this or put words in my mouth, I didn't say that I was sure the one I did go to visit was 'the one' BEFORE I spent some time in person with her. If the 'chemestry' hadn't been there, I'd have told her so and dropped her as nicely as possible (or maybe she would have dropped me first, it's happend before, and sometimes not 'as nicely as possible'). Despite what you may think of my method (The common term used here is WOVO. See? I'm not the only guy who uses this method), I know that being married to the 'wrong one' is worse than not being married at all and wasn't about to do anything stupid.  

BTW, somebody who used to post here that I stay in touch with called me yesterday and (among other things and people, you were not the reason for the call, more like a 1% 'BTW, heard anything about_____?' after thought) asked about you. No, not the dog, somebody else, haven't heard from the dog in quite a while. But you were right, he'd been lying to me all along about how things were going. I guess embarrasement was his motive for lying, I think they're really split up now. Good thing I didn't bet you, but like I said at the time, I never bet money I don't have.

Well, I gotta go fix the A/C on my car now. Cherrio!

[Yalg]

... in response to What do you mean, meet?, posted by JunFan on Apr 6, 2003

Yes, its amazing how much some people know about latinas from emailing some woman they dont even know.  Alot of guys become "experts" on LA women because some girl sends them an email saying she wants this and this.  Some think I am bashing LA women with this thread. Nothing could be further from the truth.  I am simply saying open your eyes and dont believe all the hype about this process. Its the hardest thing a guy will ever do in his life, yet some guys accomplish it in one weekend in a Cali agency. Unbelievable.....

[wizard]

... in response to Respect, Faithfulness and Kindness, posted by Michael B on Apr 6, 2003

Michael:

Your experience is much like mine... Respect and being faithfull is always at the top of the list for every latina I have met, in Colombia anyway... It appears that Señor Yalg has not been meeting the types of latinas that you and I have met... This may explain his cynical attitude...

Which poses a quandary ... The most negative posters on this forum, seeemingly have not had successful relationships with latinas... They have gone through the whole process... Writing, visiting, courting, telephone conversations, paperwork, visas, INS, etc... They put in the time / energy / $$$ to succeed... No one ventures into any endeavor expecting failure, but for some reason, things just did not work out... Granted, there are no guarantees in life or love, but there has to be some reason(s) why these relationships fall apart...

We've all heard about cultural / religious differences, unrealistic expectations and outright scams... But there has to be more to it than these "pat" answers... As someone who is making the commitment, I'm interested in understanding the failures as well as the successes... I for one do not want to become another statistic... If we understand the failures, we, as a group, may be able to understand / avoid these problems in the future...

Anyone care to share???