I wonder if this is a bad sign...

[bogota vet]

... in response to Re: I wonder if this is a bad sign..., posted by Yalg on Mar 28, 2003

We do not know enough to make the judgement.

How far Kit was into the relationship etc..

I can tell you this now, from seeing relatiobships over 5 year period, you are at some time going to have to give your girl money.

Kits problem can be solved one way or the other, by a visit from Kit to his girl, at which time he pays all the debts owed in person.  If the girl rejects this idea, move on.

If she lets you pay off 2-3 specific debts while you are there, then you are OK, keep going on the relationship.

[Kit]

... in response to Re: I wonder if this is a bad sign..., posted by Yalg on Mar 28, 2003

You know sometimes it makes me wonder if they (chicas) even understand that the money is not that easy to come by. To spend so much you need to earn even more. I have a feeling that she thinks of me as some kind of a millionare simply because of my geopolitical location. Although $500 is not going to break a bank for me, I dont want to give her an impression that $500 is no big deal for me. What is everyone else's experience with Colombianas and money? Do you guys feel that the girls in Cali seem to be detached from financial realities of NA?

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad sign....., posted by Kit on Mar 28, 2003

I think you need to go to Cali and investigate the situation deeper. ( pun intended ). Think about how much it costs to date an american girl. I think the question here is --what is your relationship?. You need to clarify it with her and help her (if you care) or release her if you don't. I think the fishing/ cutting bait is a perfect analogy. When I had a novia I sent money every month. If you care about her why would you let her be broke and desperate over a few bucks every month. jim c

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad sign....., posted by Kit on Mar 28, 2003

I don't know what to tell you guys about the money thing except my take on the situtation. I have never dated a women older than 24 or one that had a decent job. 90% of every thing these women owned, I would guess was purchased by other people.

If I have a sexual relationship with a women in Cali and I want to continue the relationship with her, I will always send her $150 or so dollars a month. It has been my experience that if you don't, they just will think you are playing with them and using them. If you are not in an intimate relationship, you really are not obligated to help them out in any way just say no in a very nice way.

If you don't give them anything and they still keep coming around to get nailed every time you are in town that really is true love but that usually doesn't happen the first couple of times you meet them.

[DavidMN]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad si..., posted by Calipro on Mar 28, 2003

..."get nailed" and "true love" sound awkward in the same sentence!

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I wonder if this is a ba..., posted by DavidMN on Mar 29, 2003

If he nails her and sends no money, he's using her. If he pays, they're using each other.

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I wonder if this is ..., posted by Red Clay on Mar 29, 2003

That's what relationships are all about. It has to be a two way street.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad si..., posted by Calipro on Mar 28, 2003

LOL

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad sign....., posted by Kit on Mar 28, 2003

"Do you guys feel that the girls in Cali seem to be detached from financial realities of NA? "

I wouldn't say they are detached from reality, they are very much in touch with the realities of their economics and that our economy is MUCH better than their's... The difference is character and economics of scale... We have to work just as hard to earn our money, but due to the strength of the USD, our money goes much further in LA... I checked the exchange rate last night and it's @ 3025 Pesos to the Dollar... The Colombian Peso has devalued by almost 30% in the last year alone...

The character issue is more a factor and what Yalg eluded to, as to girls "working" norte americanos for money... My girl in Bogota was working 70 hours a week and going to school 5 nights a week when I met her... Plus she was supporting her mother... I made her cut back on her hours at work because she was simply exhausted... But she never asked me for a dime... I suppliment her income now so she doesn't have to kill herself to support her mother...

Something smells a little fishy about your girl's story too... You picked up on it... How can a bank say she is bankrupt if she never had an account??? Maybe she went in to open an account or to try to get a loan... Dunno... Plus, $500 USD in Cali is like 2 months salary for many working class folks... That's alot of money for some folks there...

I'd say that there are more than a few red flags in this story... There's a few bells clanging too... Sorry...

my 2 cents...

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad si..., posted by wizard on Mar 28, 2003

I am with you Mudd and Wizard 100%.  Do not send this lady any $, period!  What on earth for if there is nothing more planned than a long term friendship in your future.  She is playing ya.

[papa suave]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I wonder if this is a bad si..., posted by wizard on Mar 28, 2003

For someone without credit or a bank account, $500 is ridiculous. Run now, and run fast! A sincere girl would not ask you for money, you are being played.

[Pete E]

... in response to I wonder if this is a bad sign..., posted by Kit on Mar 28, 2003

Perhaps some of that  "good communication" was setting you up for a money request.
From what you say this is just a girl you have been talking to,not a fiance.She might even be a OK person but I think you can be assured that possible benefits from you was part of her interest.You going to give $500 to a girl you don't
have a relationship with? I have done some things like that.I  "lent " money to a Colombiano I know 2 or 3 times.I knew going in it was a gift,no way he could ever pay me back.He did help me alot in Colombia and I like the guy.The last time he hit me up I told my wife about it.She said she had had a dream that night his baby was hungry.I sent him $500.Do I think it was stupid or good hearted? A little bit of both.I have done things like his in my life quite a few times.I guess I think it was stupid in a way but don't regret it.I know it was very important to him,more so than to me.Money comes and goes in my life in unusual ways.Sometimes when I get in a bind this money just drops in my lap.Well almost,I get a phone call and a quick easy deal.I'm getting a five figure check today from such a deal.I know thats not logical.
In the case of a girl who could become a relationship,even more care might need to be taken.You could get more emotionally involved and this could be the start of more money requests,perhaps proffesions of love included.Be carefull it doesn't get out of hand.Watch out for ulterior motives.At least check out the story a little.

Pete

[bogota vet]

... in response to I wonder if this is a bad sign..., posted by Kit on Mar 28, 2003

Ask if you can pay direct for the things she need the money for.

Or tried, in a subtle way, to get proof or receipt of the items purchased.

[Kit]

... in response to Re: I wonder if this is a bad sign..., posted by bogota vet on Mar 28, 2003

I dont know how a bank in Colombia can declare her a bankrupt if she never had an account let alone credit line. Also the sum in question appears to be too high for her income level. Does anyone know how a person in Colombia can become a bankrupt without ever dealing with the bank?