Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue

[Brazilophile]

In summary, I wrote to 16 women living in or around Salvador and 11 responded.  I met 10 of those in person.  Only with 1 of them did I feel there was enough compatibility to continue a romantic pursuit.  

Some of the things I learned on this trip are:

1)  Do go meet the women in person.

Nothing gives you more credibility in their eyes than making the trip.

2)  Do travel as often as you can.

The frequency of contact seems to matter more than the length of each contact.  Long time periods between trips is often interpreted as lack of serious interest to many women.  Several ladies asked me when I would be returning to Salvador.

3)  You need to like her country.

I am now of the opinion that we should not look for potential wives in countries in which we would not be willing to live in or visit frequently with extensive stays.  One factor is visits to her family.  We must be completely comfortable with that.  Another factor is that our opinion of her country may affect her impression of us.  All the ladies I met asked me if this was my first time in Brazil of if I had made other trips before.  They were quite interested in my impression of their country.  I feel that if we have a preponderance of negative things to say about their country, we will give a bad impression of ourselves.  

That's all I have to say right now.  Thanks for reading.

[joemc]

... in response to Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 10, 2003

Brazilophile,
          Great report, I have spent sometime in Bahia,
          A great port of call while I a was a merchant
          seamen.
                                        joemc

[bogota vet]

... in response to Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 10, 2003

Brazil has many German agencies I am told.

I checked travelocity, and those German/European guys are one lucky bunch.  All the flights leave late a t night 10 11 pm, and arive teh next day 5:30 am in Brazil. So you do not lose a day of work and arrive in Brazil the next day.

No wonder Brazil is so loaded with Europeans guys, its only a direct 7 hour flight, easier to get to then for US gringos.

The websites I've seen show many girls 170cm or more tall, no wonder Brazilphile likes it so much.

[bogota vet]

... in response to Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 10, 2003

At 6'4" 240 you cut an imposing stature in Colombia, but I think in Brazil the people are taller, due to a stronger African / European heritage.  Correct?

It sounds like you like the astetic geographical sites on travel, but yet need a woman with a equal level intellect.
You may have to try more metropolitan areas in Brazil rather then Northern Brazil. comment?

What about the carribean islands , ie Trinidad, ever consider?

[Brazilophile]

... in response to Re: Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by bogota vet on Mar 11, 2003

B. Vet,

I am not sure I follow the logic behind your questions.  Maybe you can explain them further?

Is it your belief that the African/European heritage in Brazil is stronger than that in Colombia? Or Venezuela? OR Panama?  Brazil did import more slaves from Africa than any other country in the world and has more people of African descent living in it than any other country in the world outside of Africa, but its total population is much greater than that of any other SA country. Proportionately,  I do not think Colombia and Brazil differ a great deal on the racial/ethnic compositions of their respective populations.

In addition, people who work in nutrition have told me that height in adulthood is determined more by nutritional adequacy in childhood than by anything else including genes.

Yes, I enjoy traveling to esthetically pleasing  destinations (who doesn't?) but I fail to see a connection with female intellect.  Are you suggesting that smarter women are more likely to live in uglier places?  I realize that the larger cities in the south of Brazil, (RJ, SP, Brasilia), are more industrialized and so have better job opportunities for people with good educations and high training than cities in the north, (Salvador, Recife, Fortaleza, Manaus).  However, a woman does not need to be a rocket scientist for me to be happy with her.  I didn't realize I gave that impression in my posts.

Trinidad is NOT a Latin country.  If we are looking for Latinas, why should we consider Trinidad?  Latin Caribbean islands, PR, Cuba, and notably DR, have been the subjects of posts.  I have considered them and have travelled to Puerto Rica and the Dominican Republic.  At this time, I find the combination of natural beauty of the country, the attractiveness of the women, the degree of infrastructure development, the history and culture of the country, the politics and economic development, the exchange rate with US currency, and local prices, to be best for me in Brazil.

[bogota vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 11, 2003

Yes it appears, (but I don't know) the African/European heritage is stronger in Brazil thne Colombia.  Colombia has more , and I don't know the exact word but more Indian heritage, thusthe peolpe are shorter in general, and the facial features more Indian.  But Bogota is as white as it gets.
I really don't know , I just by looking at Brazil women galleries on websites, I know Colombia  but not Brazil.

Yes. the more intellectual women would center around the metro areas.  So your chances increase if you are seeking a women with a dynamic background, then a rural coastal area, but of course that is only a general statement.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by bogota vet on Mar 11, 2003

I have never been to Brazil,but looking at photos of the women it appears to me many are of mixed african heritage.It gives them an exotic and attractive look and fine bodies.The impression I get is many people of 20-50% african  heritage.Other places,like Colombia my impression is the races are not as mixed,tending to be either mostly black or mostly not.I wonder if the black experience goes back much farther in history or for some other reason there was more mixing of the races in Brazil.
I have also heard that the north of Brazil is more mixed and it tends to be more european the further south you go.Then there is the amount of native blood in the mix.Perhaps this is the reason for the exotic darker look and features,or part of the reason.
Whatever the reason the resulting look  is attractive and exotic and unique to the world in my mind.I can't think of another place right now where the women look quite the same.

Pete

[Intrepid]

... in response to Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 10, 2003

Hey B!  Don't mean to be a pest, but I have some of the same questions as PeteE.  I'm also curious as to what the woman on the LWL said about marrying a man with health problems.  Personally my health is fine, but I am curious.  One never knows what pitfalls one may encounter in the future after marrying a beautiful Brasilian, or anyone else for that matter.

Of the women who said they were interested in American men from the States, were you interested in any of them?  Have they visited their "men?"  How often do they receive visits?  Did they seem "loyal" to them?  Is that the reason you were not interested or were there other incompatibilities?

How many of the women you met had at least a working knowledge of English?  If you had to do this trip over, what would you have done differently?  Are you disappointed that you did not find "the one," or will you return for another search?

Sounds like you had a blast at the Pre-Caju (sp)!  What were your observations of Brasilian men?  Were they friendly?  Jealous?  What were your observations of Brasilian couples?  Even if you determined that the women you met were not compatible with you, what was your impression of their overall sincerity?

Sorry for the long post, but inquiring minds want to know!    Great trip, and kudos to you for "stepping out" like you did.  Good luck in the future!  Peace!!!

[Brazilophile]

... in response to Re: Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Intrepid on Mar 11, 2003

Intrepid,

The woman from the LWL was from Argentina.  In a thread on age differences, she explained that her first husband had been many years older than she and became ill when she reached middle age.  He languished for several years before dying and during that time she nursed him.  She explained that many young women think about that type of burden when they are faced with starting a romance with a much older man.

None of the women I met said they were specifically interested in American men over European men.  None have visited men in the man's country.  The woman who married the American living in the midwest, had 3 visits from him.  The Mormon woman had, I think, 2 visits so far from her guy.  I don't remember the woman involved with the pacemaker guy having had any visits yet.  

On loyalty, your guess is as good as mine.  How much loyalty do you think is displayed when a woman goes out on a date with a perfect stranger simply because the opportunity presents itself (because I am in town) and they are "curious" about a new foreigner?  However, they made it clear they were unavailable.  I felt compatible with only one lady and she was available.

None of the ladies spoke English with me.  The Mormon lady had taken an English course and spoke some words in English but we did not converse in English.

I don't think I would have done anything differently than I had done for this trip.  Given the circumstances and constraints, I think my trip was optimal.  I am not at all disappointed I didn't find "the one" on this trip.  I don't believe in love at first sight, so I wouldn't know if I had found "the one" on a particular trip until a trip or two afterwards.  I like the northeast of Brazil.  I will make more trips there whether for wife searching or not.

Do you mean were Brazilian men friendly or jealous towards me? foreign men in general?  other Brazilian men?  In what context?  I don't think I can answer this question they way it is posed.  I will remark that I was assumed to be Brazilian by ordinary people.  I was asked several times in the street for directions to particular places.  In the supermarket a few people started speaking to me out of the blue.  I think they were complaining about the prices of certain foods.

I only noticed couples if they stood out for some reason, like the couple on the launch from Ilha de Itaparica.  I would say that the fact so few couples stood out to me, the vast majority were not much different from American couples while in public places.

Except for the first woman I met, who was married but separated, I felt all the ladies I met were very sincere with me.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 11, 2003

Good for you.You are a rare guy with courage,determination and patience.In this quest or anything else you choose I think you will find success.
Enjoy the process.

Pete

[thundernco]

... in response to Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 10, 2003

Great trip reports, thanks!  Please keep us posted on any new events.

[Pete E]

... in response to Brazil Trip Report, Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Mar 10, 2003

Thanks for the series of reports.We don't hear too much about Brazil so its good to get some variety.
You experience kind of confirms my thought that a guy will probably need alot of time in a place like Brazil to meet the woman he is looking for.Even though you met a number of women none of them were compatable with you even though you wrote them before going.
My question is where do you go from here?I assume your trip is over from the way you concluded your post.Will you write more girls and go back and visit other parts of brazil?Will you try a different country?You mention it is important to
like the country your woman is from but I'm a little unsure
how you feel about Brazil right now.
Let me commend you for having the courage to just strike out on your own with only a few possible contacts from girls you mailed.You sound like a seasoned traveler.Most guys would probably not do that.Its difficult for some guys to decide to catch a plane even if they are going to a country with huge numbers of available women and an agency to help them every step of the way.
I think this brings up the obvious comparison.For the guy who is somewhat shy about going,doesn't speak the native language and has a limited amount of time to spend looking before he will probably get discouraged and give up,I think Colombia is the obvious solution.With a fraction of the effort and courage you displayed he can meet alot more girls,most of whom will probably be alot more compatable.So thats the place I would recommend to what I guess I will call the average guy.
Brazil is very interesting and does have attractive women.I am of the opinion it will be alot more difficult to find an acceptable one there.So I put it in the good place to go if you don't expect much to happen fast and you have alot of time and enjoy looking,which you seem to.You don't say but your portugese must be fairly good.
So give us a "where your at with your search right now" report please.
Thank you again for a very interesting number of posts.

Pete

[Yalg]

... in response to So where do you go from here?, posted by Pete E on Mar 10, 2003

Brazilophile's post were interesting and good information for what its worth.  However, I dont think we should give undo credit for one man's visit and I am sure he is not asking for that.  I can tell you that I had the opposite opinion after my visits to Brazil.  I thought the women were so incredible that they were all I could think of when I was not there.  The language is a major problem for most guys though and you have to prepare yourself if you want to have any meaningful exchanges.  I can tell you that Portuguese is as easy, if not easier, than spanish and only a couple hundred words will get you so far you cant believe it, and easy to achieve with little time.  I dont agree with you that Colombia is the obvious choice for most guys, if that is what you implied, sorry if you did not imply that.  I have always believed that nothing in life worth having is easy, and to go to Colombia and find a novia is very very easy. Anyone can go to Cali and get engaged if that is his mission.  Its really not a problem at all.  I think that a guy should look for alternative ways to accomplish the ultimate goal, which I hope is true love and not hormonal urges that occur when looking at web pages.  If a guy brings a woman here for that reason then the relationship is doomed from the start.  So whats the answer?  I personally believe a guy should just go and take his chances on fate.  Pick a country where most people dont go and find a women through the natural routes we do here in America.  Some would say that is a pipe dream but it is what you make it.  If you sit in your hotel room and get loaded and go out to bars then you will most likely find the same thing as you would here.  If you are sincere, and conduct a sincere search for women I am convinced that you can do as good, or better, than the agency route.  I have personal experience in this, and the agencies, and I feel in my heart that the only way is to hit the open road and see what is waiting for you among the millions of available women out there.  Imagine going to Paraguay and the capital city and just walking around. Can you imagine how many women would be willing and motivated to talk with you?  Or maybe Santa Cruz, Boliva?  Go where most dont go and dont focus so much on agencies who are catering to both sides and where the chances of deceit are so much higher.  An old saying.....where do the sharks swim?  Where the food is.......

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: So where do you go from here?, posted by Yalg on Mar 11, 2003

I think there is sort of a "serandipidy" thing that can happen when we are adventureous that draws us to what we seek and what we seek to us.And I think the search as you describe it is a great way to go.To do it I almost feel a guy needs to get free of the normal bounds of life to be free to search.Searching in this way can't really have a time pressure.You have to enjoy the search and the result will take care of itself.I agree entirely.
Problem is most guys are not up for throwing their fate to the winds quite this much.Maybe they should be.I wouldn't discourage anybody who feels this way.Go for it.Follow your heart.For the guy who learns a foriegn language and is willing to just try to strike up conversations with women he sees there may be lots of opportunities.However,even if you are this gutsy,which few of us really are,you might encounter things like customs where women will not speak to strangers.It might be a better mental game plan than something you will really pull off.But again,go for it,if it works fine,if not adjust your methods.And don't delay doing it to try and do it "the right way".Other wise you are just playing mind games of what might be possible.
But,for the guy less willing to be this adventueous and put life as he now lives it on hold,for the guy simply seeking better choices in a mate without turning his life upside down,yes,Colombia is the obvious choice.A
guy can buy a plane ticket today and be meeting all the women he can handle tommorow.Either way can work if you do what it takes.
So,in the real world,what are you doing about it right now,or in the near future?Are you following your plan?If not now when?

Pete

[Yalg]

... in response to Re: Re: So where do you go from here?, posted by Pete E on Mar 11, 2003

You make good points and its hard to argue with them.  When I was in Cali I always had the feeling, right or wrong, that I could get almost any woman I met to go for me.  I felt that I could say the right words that she wanted to hear and off we go. I never wanted to say those words unless I was serious, but sometimes its hard not to. Especially if she is so gorgeous that you mind loses itself in your own horniness.  In Bogota, I had less of that feeling, but still it was there.  When I went to Peru and met women. How shall I put it?  Hapharzardly?  I felt that it was more of a real relationship that was not confined to the constraints of an "agency" meeting and up front expectations of "marriage."  If you meet a girl in a restaurant or walking down the street the thoughts of marriage dont come up soon in the conversation.  This is the way its supposed to be in the real world.  But, if a guy is hell bent on getting married to some hot Calena then I definitely agree its the easiest and shortest way to achieve his goal.  I just have so many reservations now that I have really sat down and thought about this route that its hard for me to recommend it as the best choice.  What is the best choice?  Or the best way to go about all this?  I dont know.....and that is the hardest part of all, knowing what is the best.....

I brought a lady from Peru here for five months, she had a tourist visa.  I thought everthing was perfect when we met.  It was a casual meeting at a restaurant and was a love affair for the ages.  In the end, it did not work out and she went back to Peru.  So, even my way is not foolproof and comes with no guarantees.  However, I cant think of going to an agency now after her.  Its just something in my blood that tells me dont do it.  I cant bring myself to ever visit an agency again. Maybe I am missing great opportunities but i guess I will never know......