Do Colombian women ever marry up?

[Pete E]

... in response to uhhhhh, posted by JunFanDallas on Mar 4, 2003

Mike,
Yes,I know you don't spend the time here you used to.
How much time do I spend?Thats a little hard to say because I work on my computer alot then check in on whats happening on the board.But too much.
If nothing much is being said I might spend 30 miniutes a day.If I get really involved as I did  2 weeks or so ago maybe 2 or 3 hours.I am a realtor but don't work real hard at it.I have some techniques to get business that don't require much time.Knocking on doors and cold calls I never do.Cold callers should be shot.When I get busy in some deals it takes more time.I'm semi busy right now.2weeks ago not at all.I have a pension and I guess you could say I'm semi retired.But there is a list of things I should be doing.If its hot I'II get it done.
I do check my E-mails first every day then whats happening with the board.At night my wife parks herself in front of her novelas and if I get bored with TV I will check in here.
Its not as bad as people who watch 6 hours of TV a day.I mostly watch fox news and talk shows,maybe 2 hours a day.
So yah,its a hobby sort off.Sort of wasting time like alot of things I could do.But its an interest of mine.You needs some interests.And I have somthing in common with alot of guys.Its sort of on line commraderie.

Pete

[JunFanDallas]

... in response to Re: uhhhhh, posted by Pete E on Mar 4, 2003

Attaboy Pete.  How the hell do you know if I need more interests or not, oh political one?  I work as a broker from about 6:30a.m.-4p.m. (I too am in front of a computer and can log in), and then usually workout from 4:30-5:45 (5 days per week), then come home, eat dinner, take the dog for a walk, maybe watch some sports or news on TV, and go to bed about 9:30.  On top of that, I meet with some Church groups 2x per week (weeknights)for about 2 hours each time.  I probably go on dates on average about two to three times per week, and have a lakehouse that I go to on the weekends prob 2x/mo., and Church on Sunday mornings on top of that.

Seems like I have enough interests to keep me busy.

"Stick that in your mouse and click it." lol.

Funny how you never really talk about the things you do with your wife.  What does she do all day?  Crochet on the couch while she watches you surf the internet?  And you speak no Spanish!

If I didn't know you were married, I would think you live the life of a post-middle age single man.  You are still married, aren't ya Political Pete?

[Pete E]

... in response to A little 'bout me.....and more ?? for yo..., posted by JunFanDallas on Mar 4, 2003

Mike,
I was saying " you need some interests "As in a person needs some intersets or more specifically I need some interests.It was not meant to be a statement that YOU need some interests.Sounds like your busy enough.But you got a way of taking things wrong,as if I was telling you what you needed.Not at all.
As far as my wife she works part time,has alot of female friends and talks on the phone alot to them and her family.I work at home mostly,except when meeting people or showing property.So we spend quite a bit of time together at home.We visit friends,have them over,go to dinner and movies,music events and festivals.We have done alot of small vacations(tahoe,disneyland) as well as big ones.Her english is pretty good,so I need no spanish.Even when we met her english was way ahead of my spanish so thats always been how we communicate.
Yup,still married.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Good Ole "Political Pete", posted by Pete E on Mar 3, 2003

My wife just asked me what I was doing.I told her wasting time on my discussion board.
She said "finaly you admit."

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Do Colombian women ever marry up?, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 28, 2003

El Colombiano wrote:

"I do not understand you guys that date lower social class women ..."

I don't understand guys who WON'T date lower social class women.  Men of character have been marrying down for centuries for love and have found good, loving wives.  The others have missed a lot of opportunities.  There are good and bad at both ends of the social spectrum.

Steve

[wizard]

... in response to Not Class Conscious, posted by DallasSteve2 on Feb 28, 2003

All that matters is to find someone with whom you are happy, compatible and share common goals for the future...

Categorizing people based on social class is elitist... I  know people that come from lower social/economic classes, but succeeded in improving their lives through education and effort... At the same time I know people who come from money that have let their social status destroy their value as a person through an inflated perception of self worth...

As usual, everyone has their own perspective on reality... Generalizations are nothing more than opinions whose only value is to the person spewing them as truth...

Whatever gets you through the day...

[Celt]

... in response to Not Class Conscious, posted by DallasSteve2 on Feb 28, 2003

There's a good example in the "Devil's Dictionary".
maverick: In the U.S. a wild horse from the Western Plains;
In the U.K., the American wife of a member of the House of
Lords

[JunFan]

... in response to Not Class Conscious, posted by DallasSteve2 on Feb 28, 2003

Colombiano,
I agree with that last line 100%.

The reason why gringos usually marry poorer women, quite frankly is because they can.  You don't see the same desire to leave the country from the more educated women with careers...and what a coincidence that these young women  aren't attracted to the 40, 50, or 60 something gringos, who are looking for a 20-something trophy wife.  Have you guys ever wondered about that?

Remember, the desire for the Colombian woman to leave her country & all she holds dear is INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL to her economic status!  Period.

And if you want a girl who you can be superior to in order to inflate your ego or quell your insecurities...go right ahead, marry the hot young girl that comes from a poor family.  'Cuz you can....ask Steve, he's done it twice in less than two years.

JunFan

[Dean]

... in response to but I know why you do Steve, posted by JunFan on Feb 28, 2003

Congratulations Steve....

It is important to keep trying and not become dour,disallusioned and just quit.

Congratulations for staying focused in the pursuit of your dreams...

Best wishes for your success

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: but I know why you do Steve, posted by Dean on Mar 1, 2003

....also something that we should not take lightly.  I know, I was guilty of it once.  

Some people on this board have the attitude that they'll marry one, and if it doesn't work out, they can always try again.

Like...  "ooops, real sorry about that, next!"

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to but I know why you do Steve, posted by JunFan on Feb 28, 2003

Mike

Your points are valid, but that's not the issue I was addressing.  I was considering why men, particularly here in the US, have often married women from lower social classes, and not just some rich octagenarian who marries an ex-Playboy Playmate.

In my case, you're probably right.  In the case of men in general I think El Colombiano's point of view is myopic.  There are many good women of lower classes and many b*tches from upper classes.  That was my point.

And I believe it shows again the difference in cultures between the US and Colombia.  We are pragmatic.  They are traditional.  Pragmatism say "If it works, use it.  If not, discard it."  Traditionalism says "My traditions (family and friends) don't accept someone of lower class."

Pragmatism produces a better life and a better future than traditionalism.  I don't see a practical reason for being class conscious in choosing a wife.

Steve

[jim c]

... in response to but I know why you do Steve, posted by JunFan on Feb 28, 2003


   I have to agree with you and Colombiano. I have mentioned that a translator asked me why americans come and marry our maids. It is obvious. We "older guys" have an opportunity to relive our relationship lives with younger more beautiful women.( just call me papi!! ) The younger guys have the option of being with non judgemental, non competitive females, who are beautiful. The lack of social graces or self confidence is not a factor when there is a language difference.
     The women on the other hand have an opportunity of marrying someone exotic, leaving a culture which treats them as less than equal, elevating their social status and possibly their economic status.
 We have all looked at the agency bio's, 32 year old student ( unemployed and studying english at els ) Marketing or Sales ( works in LA14 ) administrator(secretary) Auxilary Accountant ( cashier book keeper) Model ( pretty,unemployed with no future or education) How many men complain about paying for the girls taxi's. How many girls show up at an agency in their own car.
    I attended Javieriana University in Pance  not one girl ever looked at me. Why?  they all were upper middle class with futures. Why would a 22 year old girl with one child marry a fifty five year old man? It is all very obvious and we need to understand it while we make our choices. Denial never helped anyone. She can fall in love with you even if she is not when you marry. I think underneath it all, we understand the class issues and delight in opportunities we are given. Jim C

[lswote]

... in response to but I know why you do Steve, posted by JunFan on Feb 28, 2003

Are you projecting your own experience or what! Boy are you stereotyping.  I am sure there are Colombian women that fit what you are saying, but there are a whole bunch of other Colombian women that don't.  I don't know much about the class system as my wife is from Bogota and while the class system might be in place in Bogota, I know nothing about it and it wasn't a factor I considered or something I even knew about when I met my wife.  I think there are a lot of reasons Colombian women are willing to leave Colombia (notice I said willing to leave as opposed to desire to leave) beside economic status.  It is my belief that in my wife's case it was because she wanted a faithful husband.  Security for our future children came into play also, but economics had nothing to do with it.

[JunFan]

... in response to Yikes!, posted by lswote on Feb 28, 2003

I don't doubt you didn't know your wife's social class, but believe me, she does, whether she tells you or not!

But you don't have to explicitly know what the class is to make a decision that will have the same outcome.  For instance, finding an educated woman, who has a good job, that lives on her own, etc...will more or less tell you what class she either came from, or what class she is currently in....get it?

[lswote]

... in response to and another thing..., posted by JunFan on Feb 28, 2003

Yeah, I get it. But admitting that we all, whether in Latin America or the United States, tend to look for certain qualities in a person that are compatible with our goals is normal, not something that should be portrayed as negative.  And that is what you did in the initial post I responded to, portrayed any reason that a Latin woman would be interested in an American man as negative, ie. trying to improve her social or economic circumstances.  I understand you have first hand experience of some Latina using you, but we all have our own stories to tell of letdown, perhaps betrayal.  But you can't carry a chip around on your shoulder for the rest of your life about it, showing disrespect and uncompassion by grouping all people in the same group as the person who failed you in the past.  I have looked at your website and you are a very handsome young man and very physically fit.  I wouldn't think you would have any trouble finding a wonderful woman either in Latin America or the states, and yet instead about posting about your continuing search, about all the possible women that might be caught in your net, most of your posts here are in some aspect negative about either something about the Latin American experience or about some poster here.  Why don't you channel all that energy into finding a woman that makes you happy and adds to the quality of your life, or else just let go of the Latin experience and move on to something else.  Many of us here on PlanetLove have been burnt by someone, at sometime, but we just have to let go of the letdown and move on to something else somewhere else.