Do Colombian women ever marry up?

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: and another thing..., posted by lswote on Feb 28, 2003

First of all, my ex-wife didn't use me for anything!  She had all her papers, and never even entertained the idea of staying here, she's back in Colombia now and we are on good terms.  We both had honorable intentions, and it didn't work out...simple as that.  

I have moved on, but read this thing for fun. It's actually comical to look back on how I bought into some of the very same bulls%$t that some of you guys talk about.

I actually date, on a regular basis, the types of women most guys on this board can't have...the 24-32 year old hot, smart, successful, American women.  For that matter, I have dated Asians, Eastern Europeans, Latinas with papers that live here, your good ole East Texas sweeties, and everything in between.

What I have come to learn is that finding "the" woman is truly like finding a needle in a haystack.  To think that it is somehow easier to find that woman on one, or a handful of trips to a foreign land, is absolutely insane. Insane I tell you. Sure, it can be done, but so can winning the lottery.

There is soooo much denial on this board it's unbelievable.

"Where there are dreams there will always be dreamers"

JunFan out.

[lswote]

... in response to LSWOTE.....you dont know what you're tal..., posted by JunFan on Mar 2, 2003

[This message has been edited by lswote]

Well I think you should just go away and not come back since the only reason you are here is "read this thing for fun" and you never contribute and only criticize or ridicule.  You have no respect for the the people here or the reason most of us are here.  Your comment that trying to find the right one is like finding a needle in the haystack, coupled with your comment that you can date "the types of women most men on this board can't have", shows you to be an immature self-indulgent person who is only here to poke fun at people you consider your inferiors.

I was once young, good-looking and dated a wide range of women.  I was even married to an East-Texas hottie for 13 years.  But I have aged and things have changed, but the good news is my heart and mind have changed too.  I understand more about the give and take of a relationship and have a lot clearer idea of what life is about than when I was younger.  I have learned there is no "the" woman, but realized that there are a lot of good women with who you can make a nice life with.  When you stop looking for "the" one, you don't have to search the haystack for that needle anymore.  Maybe trying to find a needle in a haystack is a correct analogy for an older man such as myself trying to find a decent attractive woman in the United States but it certainly is not true for Colombia.

In my original post to you, I was trying to compliment you on what I perceived were your positive attributes after viewing your website and offer you some encouragement and exhort you because I was under the mistaken belief you actually would appreciate some positive feedback from somebody with a little more experience in life.  Obviously I was wrong.

You say most of us are in denial.  I say to you that you are young and don't have a clue about what life still has in store for you.  Give yourself another 20 years and then come back and tell us if your story is the same.

[bogota vet]

... in response to LSWOTE.....you dont know what you're tal..., posted by JunFan on Mar 2, 2003

It is actually the logistics that make Colombia a good hunting ground, the quality eligible female population far exceeds the male when compared to the US.

Though the whole concept is best suited for 35-55 gringos looking for a second chance.

[colman]

... in response to LSWOTE.....you dont know what you're tal..., posted by JunFan on Mar 2, 2003

that gives little merit to some of your past experiences on marriage with a latina--"I actually date, on a regular basis, the types of women most guys on this board can't have"----dude call me old school but when somebody TRIES too hard to convince me of something I kinda question it--kinda like when a truely KLU KLUX KLAN idiot tries to convince everybody that he is not a racist by saying he has black friends--if that person really was not a racist he would not really have to worry about whether people think he is or not but to each his own--Colman

[JunFan]

... in response to dude its your inflated ego on yourself, posted by colman on Mar 2, 2003

Look Colman...you & I both know we have never seen eye to eye about anything.  

My ego is not inflated, I was being very objective.  Like I said...

All you do when you say that is reinforce what I said about denial...too many people on this board are awash in it.

What's up with you man?  You are from Colombia but are on this board trying to do what?  Learn from gringos?  Or to show us a Colombian man's point of view, which is nice, but irrelavent as most of us are Americans!

LOL...too funny.

[Pete E]

... in response to whatever, posted by JunFan on Mar 2, 2003

Mike,
You raise a good question talking to Colman,but I think its a good one for you.
First of all,I wonder why you even considered Colombia in the first place.You are a rare example on this board of a guy who actually has a chance for a decent attractive american woman.29,(I think)tall,relatively good looking,mid 6 figure income.Seems you would be a hot item with american chicks,unless there is something we don't see here.You mention you are finding good american women to date.I can belive that.Most of us don't have the "stats" for that.
So,why did you shop Colombia in thr first place and why are you still hanging around here?
You have a very negative attitude about Colombia as a source of women.I can understand that to a point based on your negative experience,but you seem to think every other guy is destined for the same experience.
I will grant you that finding a seemingly good and attractive Colombiana is easier than having it work out.There is a little bit of "polyanish"attitude here.
Alot of guys seem to be doing well,but time will tell.
The truth probably lies somewhere between guys who think they have found their one and only but it is relatively new and your attitude that everyone is bound for failure.But most of us have no other decent options,thats why we are here.
So the question again "whats up with you" or why are you here.
As I said in the past I do respect you for quickly discovering your relationship was not going to work and ending it.If it seemingly is not going to work thats a smart way to go.Its kind of along the line of what you have said about others,they think that if it doesn't work they can just send her back.Yes,that is a real option.I know it still can get messy and expensive,as you have pointed out.And then they can choose to just go get another one,as Dallas Steve has.I personally think thats a better option than sitting around being sad about it.Nothing gets you over an old relationship better than a new one.
You are carrying around an "attitude " about this.What gives?

Pete

[JunFan]

... in response to "whats up with you man", posted by Pete E on Mar 3, 2003

Well Pete,
You are right about one thing...I shouldn't have gone down to Colombia in the first place.  It's a long story, but the bottom line was I was searching for something I guess.  Looking back, I think I was not secure with myself, and therefore wanted to find an attractive girl, but one that would not "compete" with me, or make me face up to my insecurities.  And honestly, alcohol and marijuana abuse made things worse.  And I will admit that the romanticism of South America, with the laid back culture, beautiful women, great food, etc. kind of captivated me.  I got caught up in the fantasy.  Am I bitter about it?  I know it sounds like it, but I'm honestly not.  I just can't believe how ignorant I was!

So what gives now?  I have taken a hard look at myself and came clean....brutal honesty!  It's not easy to do, but it is very liberating once done.  I have opened up a whole new world of relationships with AW that I never dreamed existed.  

Bottom line:  be the kind of man that will attract the right kind of women!

And I shouldn't come back here and rip on those who haven't come to the same conclusion that I have (even though I'm right

[Pete E]

... in response to here goes...., posted by JunFan on Mar 3, 2003

Mike ,
Sounds like a honest explanation.And I agree with your be the right kind of man statement.
As far as ripping on those who haven't reached the same conclusion,I can't fault  your conclusions about your experience.You don't really Knock guys seeking Colombianas in this post but sometimes you seem to.For some of us its one of the only good choices going.It is loaded with risk that we may not see being enamored with a beautifull woman.As I have said our judgement seems to get impaired porportionally to the beauty of the woman.But many guys have had success.I know,we need more time to really measure alot of relationships by.But I don't think they are doomed to failure.I would be very surprised if the long term failure rate matched that in the US of 50% or so.

Pete

[Aaron]

... in response to Fair enough, posted by Pete E on Mar 3, 2003

I really liked your post here. You sound like a budding psychologist, being open minded and optimistic, non-judgemental.

However, with selfish gringos and colombianas involved, the divorce rate may exceed that of the USA.

Honestly, I believe that this method for looking for a partner is not meant for everyone. It takes two people of a special kind, like you and your wife for example. I mean that in a positive context.

Cheers,
Aaron

[JunFan]

... in response to Fair enough, posted by Pete E on Mar 3, 2003

I am active on the 2G's site, and we have gotten together a pretty good sample, and it's pretty close to 50%, and I'm sure that number is conservative due to the fact that it's easier to come back and "take a victory lap" vs. coming back and admitting "failure" in front of a group.

But I'm not gonna get into that right now.

[Pete E]

... in response to I doubt it...., posted by JunFan on Mar 3, 2003

Mike,
It seems like 80-90% success on this site.My personal aquantances are batting almost 100%.One guys wife left and he divorced her but they got back together in a year and remarried.Failures definetly seem to be in the minority.But its early,many guys have been with their ladies a few months.In the US it takes years for those statistics to come out.My first marriage lasted 7 years.
Also,the 50 % failure rate here is not really accurate.I think only 30 some percent of first marriages end in divorve.But of those who do divorce tend to repeat it more than once.So maybe 66% are married once.The other 334% get married like 3.5 times.So it comes out 50 divorces per 100 marriages.Not the same marriages.
Things like big age differences could play in to LONG term results also.
I haven't been to 2G site for awhile.50% failure seems huge.

Pete

[wizard]

... in response to "whats up with you man", posted by Pete E on Mar 3, 2003

Your wasting your time Pete...

Some people just have a bad attitude... Period...

Doesn't matter if it's agreeing to disagree as with this forum, or that the sun rises in the east...

[colman]

... in response to whatever, posted by JunFan on Mar 2, 2003

Pick any of the over 200 countries, islands, monarchies, commuinist states, political units, commonwealths on earth and any one of those people that come from thier can be an American. I am an American also. I am on this board to share different viewpoints because sometimes I laugh at how "Americans"  look at Colombianas/Latinas. Hey I may not be right all the time but I am frank, honest, and sometimes have to slap "reality" on this forum-no one is obligated to view it--anyway--just wanted to point out how you lose some of your merit because of your "know it all, pretentions, condescending attitute"--hey I am not here to change you but WHEW! the way you post sometimes makes me wonder what factors contributed to the termination of your marriage--which you have shared-and thats why I type this otherwise it would be none of my business to opinionate--Colman

[Yalg]

... in response to what is an American?, posted by colman on Mar 2, 2003

Remember, your a COLOMBIAN-AMERICAN as you like to tirelessy lecture the board about.  You have to "slap reality" to the board?  jijijijiji Now thats funny.  Pick any 200 different spots on the globe and the people there could become citizens of many different countries, not just the USA so whats your point?  You, and like minded lefties, simply dont want America to have any national identity at all. You want it to go away and become something entirely different than what it was supposed to be when he country was founded.  But, you dont care about that either.  Take a hike...

[colman]

... in response to Re: what is an American? Not you I suppo..., posted by Yalg on Mar 4, 2003

who cant stand for people to be an American and simultaneously have a culture, history, language and differnt way of doing things to choose from--you cant stand for people at the supermarket speaking Tagalog, Spanish, Polish, Armenian--you cant stand many other blessings coming from a person who can choose the positive things from both cultures--wow never knew how close-minded some people could be anyway god bless you dude (you need it, did the flintstones ever go to church?)--Colman