How often do wives return to visit family

[elcolombiano]

How often and for how long do the wives return to their home countries to visit their families?

[Pete E]

... in response to How often do wives return to visit famil..., posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

Colombianas are very close to their families.I think you should count on her visiting at least once a year.Thats what I promosed my wife.
My wife was there Jan 02,then August 02.We usually go Christmas but didn't for several reasons.My wife lent her suitcase to a friend going in Sept 02 and one who just left.She was lamenting her suitcase had been there twice since she had,but she was there just 6 months ago.
We are on the west coast so it makes the trip more costly.If you are a short hop from Florida its alot cheaper.As far as length of stay my wife can stay a month and think it was short.Christmas 00/01 and 01/02 we stayed over a month each.That was way too long for me.I don't want to stay over 2 weeks unless we take side trips so I would send her early in the future.She was there 23 days July/August 02.
When we were talking about going Christmas 02 she was willing to quit her new job if she had to to go.There were several other issues so we didn't go.My step son didn't want to go because he wanted a real christmas here,tree and all,(including loads of presents)which might not happen again for awhile.
Unless you have a rare Colombiana who is not real close to her family you are going to have an unhappy Colombiana if she can't go once a year.

Pete

[Throw]

... in response to How often do wives return to visit famil..., posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

I hear these stories of other men who have married girls from Colombia and they always want to go home.  The  girl never seems to make that separation from their country.  I have been married to a girl from Cali going on 2 years.  My wife has been home once last summer.  She really likes her life here.  She enjoys going home once a year and seeing her family but her life is with me and that is what she wants.  She calls home once every week or so to catch up.  Before I got married to her I told her she could come back to Cali 1-2 times per year money permitting.  It has been a non issue.  Point being there are some great, gorgeous, girls to be found in Colombia who are not money grubbing, green card chasing oppurtunites.  Go for it...

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to Re: How often do wives return to visit f..., posted by Throw on Feb 12, 2003

[This message has been edited by Jersey Mike]

I think that this problem can be one of the greatest threats to a successful marriage with a foreign-born woman of any nationality, and is often overlooked as a consideration.  I have been married to an FSU woman (who is a good and decent person) for almost 4 years.  We have recently separated, due in no small part to the fact that she is unable to commit to her new life in the USA.  She has been back to her native republic 2-3 times/year for extended visits, and clearly prefers her native culture and lifestyle to American life.  She has been deeply homesick while living in the US.

On one hand, I do not think that a woman who desperately wants out of her homeland at any and all costs, and who readily severs her family ties in search of a better life, is a particularly good candidate as a wife.  On the other hand, it is a strain on a relationship when a woman cannot leave her former life behind - at least somewhat.  Of course, it is especially difficult for many women to leave their families, especially given the closeness that many cultures have within their their families.

It sounds like you and your wife have struck the right balance in this aspect of your relationship.

[colman]

... in response to Re: Re: How often do wives return to vis..., posted by Jersey Mike on Feb 13, 2003

I cannot stress enough how important it is to speak your future wives native tongue whether it be Spanish, Portugese, Russian or Tagalog--and its obvious that she would and SHOULD eventually learn English--I think this will cut down the likelihood of the lady going through permanent homesickness--Colman

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to How often do wives return to visit famil..., posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

Didn't you know this is the wacko anti-US policy forum?  Try to stay on topic!

Seriously,

The answer to your question may be "How deep are your pockets?"

My ex wanted to go back every six months.  My wife wants to go back every six weeks.  No, she really wants to live there, but then again she doesn't.  Kinda like Colman.

Bottom line is a man needs to discuss this with the woman before they decide to get married.  Most will miss their home, family, and friends.  The man may not agree that she should go home very often or for very long.  This is a potential relationship-killer.  

Their second question (after "When can I go home?") is "How long can I stay?"  My ex stayed 3 or 4 weeks each trip.  You need to let them know how often and for how long you are willing to let them vist home.

Steve