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Author Topic: family objection  (Read 10971 times)
chevy
Guest
« on: January 27, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
I can't believe that at 49 my family still thinks they know better than I do.I plan on making a trip to cali this spring after trying and failing over and over to meet someone here.They are giving me grief about it.
 Has anyone here ever gotten approval of what they were doing? Or has it been a battle? I'm not even going to tell them I am going. I'm going to say I am in florida intstead.
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Celt
Guest
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

There is inner-convincing and outer-convincing. Either case
involves the possibility of deception. I was at one of the
agencies in Cali with several men in your age bracket. I
witnessed the whole gamut of motivations from these men.
If you have won the inner-arguments and feel peaceful about
your decision, the outer-arguments grow pretty dim. Or, if
your house is in order, who gives a $#@!&!! about the other
guy's.
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Kit
Guest
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

I think it is better to be loughed at and happily married, than respected and lonely. When things turn out to be great guess who will lough then?
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Texman
Guest
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

I got to agree with DallasSteve2 on this one.  You are 49 years old.  You do what you want/have to do.  I am 32, and after an ugly divorce to a AW about a year ago I decided to pursue making a match with someone special in Brazil.  I was very honest with my family.  I even told my friends at work.  The good news out of all of this is that I am getting married this March 7th to a wonderful and beautiful Brazilian woman.  My parents and a dear family friend are flying out there with me. I even have three of my friends at work who are currently talking to women in Brazil and will be going to my wedding.  So my advice is to be honest and if they don't approve, so what.  It is your life......
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Celt
Guest
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: family objection, posted by Texman on Jan 28, 2003

Gotta agree with both of the gents from Texas. The Germans
have a word for it, which my poor spelling cannot convey:
"schaudenfraude". It is that sickly feeling in the stomach
when you realize someone else is happy. It often takes the
form of what you have experienced: people taking a stance
that regards your plans, hopes, dreams as dubious.
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jumgimbo
Guest
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: family objection, posted by Celt on Jan 28, 2003

Actually, "Schadenfreude" is a word that roughly translates as joy at the misfortune of others, not anguish at another's joy.  It means you're happy because someone else is not.  

Not a criticism, just a language pointer.  Peace to all.
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Celt
Guest
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: Re: family objection, posted by jumgimbo on Jan 28, 2003

Thanks for the correction.
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DallasSteve2
Guest
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

You're 49 and you care what they think?

I went when I was 42 and married a woman who was 21.  I'm sure everybody thought I was crazy.  So what?  I'd be crazy to marry the average 40-something American woman when I could have a stunning young Latina.

That failed after 2 years so I went back at 45 and got another, though she's not quite as young.  I didn't lie about what I was doing because I don't need anybody's approval or advice.

I told family and friends.  I didn't tell people at work.  They don't need to know my business, and society is biased in what they think about this.  But it's not illegal and it's not immoral.  Forget about them.

And if she's much younger than you, you'll get stared at all the time in the stores and on the street.  You'd better decide now if you can live with that.

Steve
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A1A
Guest
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

I can't believe my family is one of the few that actually support me in my quest.  My mother has traveled extensivly, been to Peru and Mexico, very open minded, and gave me her blessing. I did have one brother who asked me why the h@ll I have a mexican girlfriend, I emailed him a foto of us and got back  "WOW"  changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same....it will probaly take your family meeting her in person to realize what narrow minded little people they are.
A1A
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elcolombiano
Guest
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

I am 44 I did not get any support from my family at all and they are Colombians! They constantly tried to discourage me from going to Cali. Now that I have a novia they do not provide any support at all and do not think I am serious. One day when I tell them I am married, are they going to be surprised. Because of my family I did not go to Colombia all these years. Ignore your family and do what you think is right. They are not capable of understanding.
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wizard
Guest
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to family objection, posted by chevy on Jan 27, 2003

Don't you just hate when other people's fears get in the way of your better judgement??? Fear is the mind killer, the little death... It paralyzes people to the point of inaction...

Now that you've made up your mind to go, don't let anything or anyone  stand in your way... It's YOUR life, and YOUR future happiness at stake, not your family's...

The first step is always the most difficult, making the initial trip... Once you have been to "the promised land", there is no turning back... You will never think about another disappointing relationship with an AW...

Just tell your family that falling in love and marrying a beautiful latina is on your "top 100" list of things to do before you die... Then watch their eyes pop out!!!

Good Luck...

wizard
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Bubba
Guest
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: family objection, posted by wizard on Jan 27, 2003

I've been trying to just read and not comment but I loved the top 100 idea.  The only problem is I couldn't tell my family my list or they might try and have me commited.
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wizard
Guest
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: family objection, posted by Bubba on Jan 28, 2003

[This message has been edited by wizard]

I sometimes get strange looks when I mention items on my top 100 list... It's that look where you're not sure if they wanta have you committed, or if they're jealous...

wizard
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Frank O
Guest
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: family objection, posted by wizard on Jan 27, 2003

Seriously man ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
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wizard
Guest
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to How bout top 2?!, posted by Frank O on Jan 28, 2003

Well Frank, right now it's numero uno on my list!!!
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