an open letter to the board

[stantrexler]

I've been reading the current board and the archives for the past 2 weeks.  I've noticed that as with any discussion board there seems to be a narrow few who tend to dominate any discussion.  Any unpopular opinions are quickly drowned out by making the person with the unpopular opinion seem stupid.  These few who dominate quite frankly  come across as obviously redneck, republican, and anti- female. (which is probably why they're divorced and looking for a desperate foreign lady in the first place)
 Except for some occasional technical information about how best to travel to the Philippines the board is more or less just a few that tend to pat each other on the back for being "brillant" enough to be "working"  the MOB process and they basically just reinforce each other's "wishful thinking" that you can marry someone you don't really know and have it work out.
 The plain truth is that the MOB process is expensive, complicated (because of the INS) and most of all "VERY HIGH RISK!".  There is a major difference between how a man and a woman get along through letters and how they will get along while actually living together.  There is something to be said for going through a "normal" dating and engagement process where two people get to know each other's moods and idiosyncrises.  This affords them the possibility of discovering over time that they really don't belong together, thus avoiding a major disaster called divorce.  
  The real truth is that most MOB marriages fail because of age difference, cultural differences, and personal incompatability, and the fact that the girl only wanted to get to the United States in the first place.  May I suggest that if you are truly burned out on "white women" that you first try and meet a Filapina that's here in the United States first.  That way you can get to know her and you'll know that she's not a "green card shark".  Good luck to all of you, even the right wing Republican red necks.   banging

[Howard]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

Stan,

Coming here and complaining about guys looking for foreign brides is like going to an Gay/Lesbian rally and complaining that you're surrounded by Homos!

I've been coming here quite a while and can honestly say that anyone who offers a well thought opinion, even if it's contrary to the popular opinion here, gets a fair shake!  I've always been a little on the fringe here and have only rarely ever been treated with anything but kindness and support!  And that was NEVER by a regular here!

I know first hand about some of the points you make, I am expiriencing significant marital difficulties right now, but everyone here has only been supportive of my plight and I'm not even a Republican!  LOL!

If you have something to say, by all means, say it.  But don't come here flinging accusations and then feel your point is made when others react defensively.  What did you expect we would do?

[madmal]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

The process IS expensive, complicated and can be risky.
But you obviously know nothing about the  realities of what this process can do for you when it works.
If you seriously think this board is just "right wing republican red-necks" then you are BS-ing and didn't really read the archives. (Or didn't understand them)

You say that " there is something to said for going through a 'normal' dating and engagement process..." I'd agree with you there. There is a lot to be said for it and it is how a lot of us approach this process. The fact that we may be introduced through a letter is the only common denominator here. Many of the guys have taken years courting their loved one long-distance. My wife and I wrote over 200 hundred letters, 500 e-mails and god-knows how many phone calls over 2 1/2 years. On top of that I spend around 4 months in Vietnam with her.
Yes, daily face to face contact would have been nice. Getting to know each others "indiosyncracies" would be nice. (it is now that we are together) But living 5000 km apart didn't make that possible.
Besides, love is about transcending the "idiosyncracies"
And when it feels right you go for it.

Mal

[Jeff S]

... in response to You are partly right...., posted by madmal on Jul 3, 2001

Hey Mal:
Haven't heard from you in a while. Have a picture of you and Doan for the Asian sweetie web site?

http://www.crosswinds.net/~asiansweetie/

- Jeff S.

[Zebson]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

Well, well Stan...is it Stan? Ok, anyway it's quite bold and a very presumptious for you to come onto this board and start making these catagorical generalizations and then critisize others for having the same. If you looked at what you have written with any articulation you can see that you have also automatically put yourself into a sterotype too because of the statments you have made. Now unless of course you were doing all this just to just envoke responses for your own entertainment...which then of course has worked. Congradulations if that is the case...(but we are not bowing to you)

The people here have every right to be respected for their political viewpoints, opinions and lifestyles. Just as you would want to be in an even scaled evaluation of your position and thoughts on life..What you have done though now is simply create defensive postering on many peoples parts which I don't blame a bit...Just reading your ideas and suggestions makes it seem as if some of the people haven't done or experienced or tried what you have mentioned. So basicly your back to ground zero. If you had taken some time and approached this board with some respect and introduced yourself properly and relating some of your experiences thoughts and ideas you would be much more understood and accepted also..If you want a response you got it...But if you want intelligent dialogue with a variety of people who have come from many differing lifestyles and cultural backgrounds, then I think you better try again...

Zeb

[humabdos]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

Stan you sound a lot like me  when I found out there was a place to vent my anger over the divorce of my lieing , cheating, gold digging card shark  filipina that I got hooked up with! lol

We didn't meet as MOB I met her in the Philippines we dated and  spent four months together before we were married. We met just like you would meet an AW here. My Ex-wife was working in a restaurant I ate at for weeks before I got her to go out with me.

What good did this do me ? NONE! LOL

Some marriages fail some don't there's no rime of reson.

I do agree with some the end of your post a lot of MOB fail for just those resons.

Bringing a filipina here is not that expensive I would guess about $5,000 or less if your thrifty.  I don't include the cost of going over  because I love the Philippines! and would go just for scuba diving alone even if the women were ugly!   But fact is filipinas are the most beautiful women on this planet!  

I hate to admit it but a year ago my posts would look just like yours! lol

I have made some good friends here on this board and Mag anak site too!  Maybe you will see after time we all want the  same thing just to have a happy life...

Maybe someday you will louse your bitterness like I did.
(some would say I have a way to go still! lol)

BTW is this mr Peabody by chance?  or CC maybe or  Harry?

Humabdos

[greg]

... in response to Re: an open letter to the board, posted by humabdos on Jul 2, 2001

Hehehehe very funny. BTW, Little Peabody's here with me. I regret that my Mahal's not with us. I miss Butterfly..Mr. Peabody

[humabdos]

... in response to Re: Re: an open letter to the board-Huma..., posted by greg on Jul 3, 2001

Thats cool Greg! I am sure Little greg will do just fine here I bet you mom and dad are very happy!  Your friend Humabdos

[Carrisse]

... in response to Re: an open letter to the board, posted by humabdos on Jul 2, 2001

wearing your rose-colored glasses?  Or did you get a big bump in your head? ;-)

[humabdos]

... in response to Hum, are you by any chance, posted by Carrisse on Jul 2, 2001

Did you get my wedding request post?  Its down below your post to dave with your wedding offer. Please tell me what you think about my Bamboo theme. Hum

[Carrisse]

... in response to Re: Hum, are you by any chance, posted by humabdos on Jul 3, 2001

I saved it too because it made me laugh out loud.  I'm currently updating the website and will post it here soon.  I'll plan your wedding Hum and it will be a darn good and unique wedding.

[jim in the pis]

... in response to Hum, are you by any chance, posted by Carrisse on Jul 2, 2001

i vote for the glasses lol

[Stephen]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

Hey Stan:

Why are you so intolerant and bigoted.  Your letter expresses a very hateful view of Asians.  

You obviously have a very narrow-minded "Americans are always best" attitude.

Have you had a bad experience with Asian ladies?  Perhaps that is why you are so dedicated to slamming them.

This attitude of excluding others will not serve you well in the Democratic party.  Democrats accept everybody..... except "right-to-life" and straight people.  You must demonstrate an open-minded attitude of "open up the borders and let everybody into the United States".  

Stephen

[tomtneal]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

Well i have been posting on this board for 3 years and this is the VERY first time i can say this person REALLY REALLY has his head up his arse,NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING IS FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH.this person is gay or a women
tneal

[Cecil]

... in response to an open letter to the board, posted by stantrexler on Jul 2, 2001

n/t