El Fin de JunFan

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Pete & others, posted by Pete E on Jun 29, 2002

It doesn't take balls to fly to a dangerous country and hole up in a house.

What you have been doing doesn't qualify as "going to Colombia", in my opinion.

[Pete E]

... in response to For the record, posted by JunFan on Jun 29, 2002

Mike,
Talk about being negative.You are putting a negative spin on everything someone says.Take off those brown tinted glasses they are giving you a sh--y outlook on life.You are showing us here a huge personality problem that is probably a big part of why your marriage didn't work.Put that together with what you said your wife did and you guys were a disaster waiting to happen.And now you think every Colombiana is like her and every relationship is doomed to the same fate.Its INDIVIDUALS that make relationships.All Colombianas are not alike and all guys that seek them are not alike.It takes patience to relate to a person from another culture.If you keep flying off the handle and reacting negastively it will never work.I bet there are some other good stories about  you guys together.
Lucky there wasn't a homicide.

Pete

[robbysanjuan]

... in response to Re: For the record, posted by Pete E on Jun 30, 2002

Pete,
KEYBOARD DOWN, WIFE UP. Don't worry about this guy. Buddy, you have to devote energy to her before someone else does.

[Rick Johnson]

... in response to For the record, posted by JunFan on Jun 29, 2002

JunFan: Lighten up already! You sound like you've got a lot to offer a woman so here's my advice to you: 1. Don't take things so seriously. Be pleasant and smile alot especially when you're with a woman you're attracted to. 2. Don't be so hard on others. Accept others for who they are and DO NOT try to change them. 3. In your personal relationships be kind and gentle and not competitive and demanding. Save the latter for the business world. 4. If you like Latinas, study spanish at a college for 2 semesters. Take Spanish I and learn the basics of reading, writing and conversation. This can be done at a good community college and will bridge the communication gap very substantially. Best of luck to you and remember to smile early and often.

Regards,

Rick

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: For the record, posted by Rick Johnson on Jun 29, 2002

I agree with most of what you say.

But I do take exception to the Spanish.  That was one problem I don't have. When your wife never learns English, you become fluent, especially after studying spanish 3 years in HS, and 2 in College.

[greg]

... in response to Pete & others, posted by JunFan on Jun 29, 2002

of Calenas? Whats the difference between their culture and AWs? Good hearing someone speaking his mind, unfraid to share his true feeling. Thanks, greg

[JunFan]

... in response to Hi Junfan, What are the good and bad Qua..., posted by greg on Jun 29, 2002

only Barranquilleras.  I'm trying to extricate myself from all this.

I'll give you my opinion.  If you must marry one of these women, stick to those who are educated, and middle to upper middle class.  Preferably one who can speak English.  

Well, I'll give an example about cultural differences.  There is a big difference in the work ethic here and that of Colombia.  There are reasons our nation is the most powerful nation in the world, putting up space-stations & leading the world in virtually every technology....and you still see Colombians hauling bananas in carts driven by donkeys.  Ever wonder why?  The answers will show you cultural differences my friend.  I'll just leave it at that.

Mike

[Ted]

... in response to I don't know first hand about Calenas, posted by JunFan on Jun 29, 2002

If their work ethic is so low that explains why most of them will take jobs no American here will take. Like picking the cheap fruit you eat or cleaning up after you when you get sick in the bathroom. Thanks for setting us straight, zenophobe.

It takes all kinds that made this country great. And guess what, most of them are immigrants.

[robbysanjuan]

... in response to Re: I don't know first hand about Calena..., posted by Ted on Jun 29, 2002

Ted,
I do not believe that post was about Xenophobia. The truth is that latin america moves at a much slower pace than the USA. When my cousin got married in Puerto Rico, it was hell planning that wedding, the people there just do not have the same mentality there to hustle. My uncle who came here in 1957, told me how he was overwhelmed at first as a kid in NJ, just coming from PR and the difference in lifestyle. I am saying this is bad or anti-immagration, no. Yet in the USA do we do it better than everyone else on this planet, yes. Are we more advanced thaN the rest of the world in all aspects,yes. Is Colombia on the point of collapse, very close. Those terrorist are pissed down there with the election of Uribe and they just had mass resignations of mayors down there (112 mayors), due to death threats from the FARC. I am happy to live here in the USA! With this, 36 years of guerrilla war, being number 3 in displaced persons in the world, and the highest murder rate in the world, it is hard for me to believe  that these women (NOT ALL) are really just looking for thier media naranja or do the just want something else first? My $$$ is on the safety and security of good Ol' Uncle Sam.

[Ted]

... in response to Re: Re: I don't know first hand about Ca..., posted by robbysanjuan on Jun 29, 2002

The US more advanced than the rest of the world?? Obviously you have been to Asia. Some cities over there are at least a 3-5 years ahead of us in technology. If we don't get our act together soon, we'll be a 2nd rate power. True, we'll still have the bomb. But then again countries like Pakistan can say the same!

[robbysanjuan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I don't know first hand abou..., posted by Ted on Jun 29, 2002

Ted,
I am in the military, work in intel and Pakistan can barley touch India with nukes. I am in Hawaii and TDY to Asia constantly for the past 2 years. They are not even close. If you look at Al-Queda, Technology is not the great divider anymore.

[Ted]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't know first hand ..., posted by robbysanjuan on Jun 30, 2002

What are you talking about. 95% of the Korean pop is on broadband, while here's it's at 21%. The Japanese also have the fastest computers now. The japanese always joke that if they want to go back to the future, they go to the US. I think if pakistan ever decide to touch India with nukes, what the # of dead would be in the millions. I think that qualifies more than a touch.

You said technology isn't the great divider, but didn't you original post say that the US was the most advanced nation?

[Aaron]

... in response to El Fin de JunFan, posted by JunFan on Jun 28, 2002

Whatever you call yourself,

I've been following your posts, website, etc. etc. etc..

I do not feel sorry for you, no sympathy what so ever. Any decent and reasonable person, whether they are latino or gringo, would have advised you not to have been so quick with marrying your ex wife. So, get the thought that all colombianas are silly girls, or just after the greencard to enter the US. That's not true.

6 months??!!!!!!!! That is no time; not even long enough to begin to seriously consider marrying an AW, let alone a foreign woman from a different culture who speaks a different language.

I think you knew the risk of "whirlwind" MOB relationships, but you proceeded anyway. If you didn't realize the risks, I'm sure you do now.

During my search in Latin America, which started in December 1998 in Cartagena until now 2002, I have met a wide cross section of women, from younger less wealthier girls to lawyers, jewelers, and doctors all from Colombia. The very women that said they thought getting married within 6 months to 1 year after the initial meeting, I stayed the hell away from (regardless of how good they looked). The women that wanted to take more time, I enjoyed spending time with them the most. We have more in common, and it's clear they weren't desperate. An additional plus, these women spoke English, and I also speak Spanish. Some even had US visas, and lived in the US for a couple of years before.

As for my girlfriend, she doesn't speak a bit of English. But we can still communicate well. She's beautiful, but she doesn't place much importance on her physical appearance. She said that she doesn't like agencies anymore, and that if she hadn't met me, she wouldn't be corresponding with anyone. We both decided that there will be 2 years of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship prior to marriage. We are enjoying our time just getting to know each other without pressure.

For all the other guys reading this post, I advise you to go for it. Travel and meet as many women you want, and don't be affraid. But, have the right attitude and use common sense.

Aaron

[mck]

... in response to I don't feel sorry for you...., posted by Aaron on Jun 28, 2002

Aaron, I do not mean to burst your bubble, but there is a big difference between living with a girl and visiting here and there over a two year period in Colombia. There is a huge difference between visiting from time to time and actually living together in your house and sharing your life with that person 24/7. This is what I am doing now, and yes I am happy with her, but it is a huge difference then just meeting the girl on a few vacations over a two year period. Don't feel you are an expert just after one trip to Colombia, you have along step ahead and the road is fun but can be occasionally rocky, but if you stick with it you might pull it off. No one knows JunFan's experiences but him , nor will we ever know until we step in his shoes on a daily basis with him and when he was married.

[Fuzzy]

... in response to I don't feel sorry for you...., posted by Aaron on Jun 28, 2002

I really do not think JunFan wanted you to feel sorry for him. But then you already knew that right??? No body here needs you to attack them when they speak out about their problems with latin girls. Some guys here need to open their eyes and they will not if they think everything is wine & roses. It is not easy to find a good girl down in S.A. but that does not stop a newbie from rushing down there and finding a girl in a two week trip.
If you have so much experince with latin girls then you must have blew right through that smoke that your girl made when she told you that she does not place importance on her physical appearance. I have yet to met a latin that does not worry about her appearance alot.