Just wondering

[Nathan]

I sometimes post on the Asian board, but since I have traveled quite a bit in Latin America, I sometimes find time to take a look at this board.
  If a Latina was reading this board, what impression would she be getting? Would she be more or less inclined to want contact with a North American man? Do many of the postings here give the impression that American men are obsessed with trivialities, vanity, and winning pointless arguments?
  While I am a sturdy defender of any man's right to seek a wife, love, success, or marital disaster anywhere anywhwere in the world,
many men I have met in Latin America and Asia seemed determined to provide supporting evidence for feminist critics.
  Sometimes it is very difficult for any of us to be greater or better men than the sum of our parts...

  $.02 worth...

Nathan

[Richard Smith]

... in response to Just wondering, posted by Nathan on Jul 1, 2002

Good Questions.  I definitely would not show my novia this board and will never tell her about it.  I'm on about a dozen boards and lists on the Internet and I haven't seen anything approaching the acrimony and fighting here.  There has to be a considerable amount of frustration out there because this is a difficult process.  Also, I think some men are displaying the trauma of living in an feminized, man-hostile country like the United States were men are devalued and often ridiculed while women enjoy a considerable upper hand demographically and otherwise.  I've been to countries in Latin America and hang out in Mexico frequently.  These guys still live in a man's culture and take a much more casual attitude towards women (they are surrounded by them) and if they want to come to blows they will do it over something really important like a soccer match.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Just wondering, posted by Nathan on Jul 1, 2002

... how the character of these boards seem to mirror some of the stereotypical traits of the women we seek. For example, this board is firey and passionate, while the Russian board is more intellectual but often highly suspicious, and the Asian board seems to be more spiritual with a stronger sense of community. Hmmm  Maybe there's something to this stereotyping after all.

-- Jeff S.

[Bob101]

... in response to Just wondering, posted by Nathan on Jul 1, 2002

I'm glad you made this point. This forum i'm sure was initially intended to be like a "roundtable"" discussion amongst friends. Where I come from, friends don't attack each other, they offer contructivem ature critisism. But as you well know, hiding behind a montior and lashing out at others gives some out there some sick satisfaction. If only more thought as you do...but the flip side is, with as many jerks here, and those that go to Cali, it makes it better for for guys that aren't, the women can tell quite easily, even with the language barier.

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Just wondering, posted by Bob101 on Jul 1, 2002

The behaviour of the guys that post on this board give clear and simple indication of their chances for success or failure with a Latina in the future.

These relationships are very, very difficult at times with super human patience, understanding and restraint called for on a daily basis.

I just laugh when I see guys flying off the handle at other guys on this board for the most trivial inconsequintial reasons.  It's not even worth getting the heart rate up, considering it's just the opinion of a stranger in cyber space.

Just wait until the new Latina wife backs the new car into the closed garage door after not looking back.  Or, flies through 3 front yards totalling the new 4 runner into a palm tree after mistaking the gas pedal for the brake pedal. (After a dozen private professional driving lessons) Or, after giving up driving for a while because of the accidents, mows down an elderly lady out for a walk, with her mountain bike.  And then comments that the lady should watch where she is walking on the sidewalk.  Or, throws a 1000.00 wool business suit in the washing machine and then the dryer.  Or, washes both passports after not checking pockets, hers and the mans, neccessitating spending an entire day driving to LA to go to the Colombian Embassy to replace it.

Or just cries all day...

Guys, it goes on and on and on with one of these girls.  All of the things above really happened.

If a guy gets upset at an internet chat board, I hate to think of his behaviour after some of this normal everyday frustrating #### starts hitting the fan.

Many of the guys that head off to another country do it because they have no luck with American women mostly because their relationship skills just plain stink.  They have finally rejected American women AFTER American women have consistantly rejected them.  Of course it's always the American women's fault.

I have been around this since 1996 and have seen alot of crap go down.  Mostly the guys choose women who are similiar to themselves, and then they can't live with them later.  Many guys who don't get any attention in this country go over, start getting a little attention, and it goes to their head, and they are an instant player.  Bragging about their money and movin and shaken attracts the wrong kind of girl, and then they go and marry them.  Party guys marrying party girls.  It's always a good combination....

Then there are the quiet, often successful, and a little nerdy types.  Normal guys who just can't seem to get themselves to go out in the US and be aggressive enough to land a good looking sincere American Women.  They look for a quiet sincere women in LA somewhat like themselves and whad ya know...shazaam...an eternally happy couple.  This is not rocket science.

So my advice for the guys who posess a quick tounge, and lack patience and understanding, just skip this whole thing because it really sucks when these relationships go wrong.  It's easier just to skip it from the beginning.

And now I am going to climb down from my high horse.

I was one of those quick tounged over confident, impatient SOBs in the past.  I know what I am talking about.  I am an expert on this subject.

Sometimes things have to change.

Wayne

[Darkstar]

... in response to Re: Re: Just wondering, posted by Wayne1 on Jul 1, 2002

Great post Wayne. I agree 100%. While I find much of this entertaining, it does go a long way in highlighting many of the problems some men have here on this forum, and is mostly counterproductive.

One thing it does bring to light, success is mostly up to you. The risks are greatly reduced if one examines himself honestly and makes changes. If a man can't find a women in the U.S. and/or has trouble with relationships, he'll have the same problems anywhere. I think this is why you will see many men successfull and many others not so successfull.

My primary motivation in looking south is not because of AW...there are good women everywhere. It's because I like the latin culture, the "look" of the women, etc. Just a personal perference. Of course it is easier to find a younger, more attractive women on the average that would be interested in you since you bring so much to the table.

There are many reasons, but desperation should not be one of them.

Tim.