other pen pals

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: other pen pals, posted by cc on Jun 6, 2001

cc,
 I have to smile when you say more than 10 ladies should be toned down.   I decided to be totally honest and told them I had written to 265.   I guess I could have used some toning down, huh??  LOL  
 No, I'm not trying to ridicule you at all.  This IS one of the hardest parts of this pen pal thing - doing it without hurting anyone.   My feelings were that by revealing the large number I had written to right up front, I would show how I valued honesty and open communication.  I got all sorts of responses to the large number, but none were really negative.   Melly even joked that it was a competition and each letter she received from me indicated she had made it to the next "round"!  
 Looking back on it, I think you are right though to just let them know you are writing to others at first and not tell how many others.   Knowing that you are in contact with other ladies helps the man and the ladies keep things from moving too fast before you meet.    

                                    SteveG

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by SteveG on Jun 6, 2001

Not only that but think of how special she feels when she is the one you chose from such a large number.

Bear

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by Bear on Jun 6, 2001

Bear,
 I joked with Melly a lot when we first got married and told her she was so very lucky that she won the grand prize - ME!   Although sometimes I suspect she just married me for my 77 TransAm......recent discussions here have caused me to worry about this again.    Maybe I should still look at a post-pre-nuptual(is there such a thing?) to protect this valuable automotive jewel??   OR do you think that possibly the sweet smell of the rat that died in the heater duct could take care of that with no legal intervention.  
                                    SteveG

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by SteveG on Jun 7, 2001

If the rat is still there, be careful!  A Philippine one-eyed spitting cobra or other snake that eats mammals might slither up the duct.

- Kevin

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by kevin on Jun 7, 2001

Kevin,  
 Another good reason to always have a large caliber handgun nearby.   If one of those one-eyed spitting cobras even gets near me, I intend to shoot first and ask questions later!  LOL   I much prefer Rats for company.  
                                          SteveG

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by SteveG on Jun 7, 2001

Steve,

I'm amazed every time you mention that 265 number.  You must be Superman!  Could you pull the heads off 265 engines and put them back without mixing them up? )

Jim

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by Jimbo on Jun 7, 2001

Jim,
 I tend to get carried away with myself when doing something I am interested in.  Melly says I don't know how to do anything in moderation - guess that's true.  It's a darned good thing I don't drink or I guarantee I would be a drunk.  I did intend to be sucessful in finding an asian wife, though and figured that if I put enough hooks in the water, there was bound to be somebody who was compatible with even me!  I did have to keep a file on each of the 55 I finally settled down and corresponded with but for some reason keeping up with the names and basic info of so many beautiful ladies was no problem to me.  The reason I had to keep a file was to remember what I had said in my last letter to them.  

 Seriously If a guy wants to maximize his odds of finding a wife who will stand by his side for life by writting to pen pals, I believe it's almost essential that he devote his full energy to getting to know as many ladies as possible.   There will be some that will dissapoint you by not being what you expected, some who will never answer you, a few who will just stop writing, And just because you go to visit doesn't mean she wil marry you(contrary to what some of the agency literature may imply).  There are no guarantees at all that you can just pick out a woman and marry her.  So if you just write to a few and none work out, then you may have just lost as much a year of your life and have to start all over again.   Plus, you simply never know if the one you overlooked because you don't have enough time for other pen pals might have been the very one you have always dreamed of.  For example, I ALMOST didn't write to Melly because she looked too "White" in her picture.  (Sounds superficial, I know, but you really don't have much more than looks to go on when looking at the agency catalogs.)  When that picture was taken, she had been to a friends wedding and still had all that whitening goop on her face - it turns out that the picture she sent with her first letter revealed a nice brown complexion that made me stop and say WOW when I opened the letter.  More importantly, her openness and the way she was always giving and never taking impressed me enough to keep writing her and the rest as they say is history.

 To put things in perspective though, the newspaper article I read back in about 1990 told about some local guy who had also found his Filipina wife this way.   He had written to somewhere around 400 or more before finding her.
I'm a real slacker compared to him!

 265 engines to work with.....you'll have me daydreaming all day now about all the different bore stroke variations and whatnot I could have with that many.  It could take a lifetime to "test" that much iron.  
                                        SteveG

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by SteveG on Jun 8, 2001

Steve,

I know what you mean about scanning through those photos.  It may seem shallow to make decisions based on little things in a photo, but initially that's all you have to go on (besides a few lines of description which go like "my hobbies are badminton, reading pocketbooks, and singing").

Like you, I found that impressions from the first photo received in the mail can be very different from the one in the catalog; either better or worse.  So looking back, I would say that putting too much emphasis on the catalog photo is a mistake.  For me, once the writing started, that's when I felt the emotions and started getting serious, and then the photos weren't very important anymore.

I remember when I first stumbled across Cherry Blossoms online, on a lonely and depressing day-after Christmas.  For a couple of hours all these lovely faces scrolled across my screen and I read the descriptions.  I was facinated, but knew nothing about the PI.  I thought, "Could this stuff be for real?  Are these ladies serious?  Are they as nice as they sound?"  Then I wondered, "How come almost none of these ladies are over 5 foot 2?" )

Cherry Blossoms has a great search engine, so out of curiosity I decided to experiment.... show me all the ladies aged 30 - 40 of height 5 foot 3.  Next I did 5 foot 4.  Then 5 foot 5.  Each time I scanned all the results, and each time the lots got smaller.  Heck, I was having fun and had nothing else to do, so I intended to go right to the max and see if there was such a thing as a 6 foot tall Filipina )

But when I was looking through the 5 foot 5 results, one intriguing face stopped me.  Quickly I decided "upper lip too thin" (which wasn't true, it was the big smile).  I moved on.  Then I stopped and went back... her eyes seemed to call me (silly, yes, I know).  I took her number and later got her address along with six other ladies.  Well, it turned out to be the lovely and gracious Sally..... and that's how I ended up with a 5 foot 5 Filipina, by goofing around and playing a silly game!  LOL!!

Jim
(...never did find a 6 footer ) )

[cc]

... in response to Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by SteveG on Jun 6, 2001

Did you really write to 265 Ladies??? You could have toned it down by saying "ahem, there are only about 200 other Ladies besides you, but don't worry, you are my number one!" ;-)

You are right, this is one of the most difficult things of the penpal thing...

[may10]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: other pen pals, posted by cc on Jun 6, 2001

this one, I love the best.....lol.

[The Mog]

... in response to other pen pals, posted by originalDE on Jun 5, 2001

No reason to bring it up unless they ask in my opinion .
It seems most Filipinas that are writing americans usually accept the fact that you are probably writing to more than one girl. Likewise you should assume you are probably not her only pen-pal either. Just keep things honest if she asks and dont tell her she is the only one if in fact there are others.