Hello

[MM]

I was banned from the board last year, however it appears now that it has been lifted. My wife, Rowena is from Southern Leyte, and we were married March 29, 2001. Her visa was approved September 11th, and she arrived here September 27th. I was more fortunate than some as I am employed by an airline and so was able to visit regularly during the waiting stage. She started working the second week of her arrival here in Toronto and is very happy. She has some customs that are pretty different than I've ever seen before. She eats rice every day, even for breakfast. Today she had fried fish and soy sauce mixed with vinegar. When she goes to work, she puts baby oil in her hair. We are so very, very happy together and I would tell anyone who is waiting for their wife that your life will be changed forever once she arrives. It is absolutely amazing how someone so small can make me stop doing something just with a stare or an eyebrow. She would have been over here much earlier but the Philippine governement paperwork took a long time. Just her passport and security clearance and prior marriage record search was 10 weeks. Once the Canadian consulate had all the paperwork, they just stamped it all right away and sent the visa, with no interview or anything. I met her in HongKong, and when we left the next day for Vancouver no one at Air Canada even checked her visa; in fact they didn't even know she needed one, as she was listed as spouse of an employee. We were clearing customs in Vancouver and they were just going to let her through again without checking anything. So it turnsout all this waiting was for nothing, as she could have just come over with me anytime. She really misses her family, but of course can go home on a pass anytime so she just doesn't want to sit for 20 hours on an airplane seat. What she really wants is to meet other Filipinas married to Caucasians, as she is not really accepted by Filipinas living here already. They are really friendly when the first talk to her, and then they ask how she got here, and then the conversation ends. They feel bitter that they had to come here as nannies for 4 years and struggle and they feel she just married me to come here. I didn't realize until now how Filipinas see themselves in this big social status thing. The ones who immigrated here as professionals see themselves at the top, then domestic workers who come over through an agency, and at the bottom are the "mail-order-brides". It seems ridiculous but its really the way the seem to behave to each other. Anyways, I hope to stay on the board and won't make any more comments about old fat bald men with young girls, as that will jsut get me removed again.

[tomtneal]

... in response to Hello, posted by MM on Dec 26, 2002

You got banned because you are Taliban for the rebels in PI

[Ray]

... in response to Hello, posted by MM on Dec 26, 2002

Hey Mike,

Let’s be honest now. You were banned because you were a flaming troll who got his jollies from starting fights on the board. The reason that you are not banned now is probably because you are posting from a different ISP.

Anyway, I hope married life mellowed you out. But we’ll keep an eye on you just to make sure (ROFL!)

Congratulations on your marriage!

Ray

[greg]

... in response to Hello, posted by MM on Dec 26, 2002

So You got married?? I doubt that you got banned for speaking your mind on Fat, Bald, Older Guys involved with younger Pinays. I think you was banned for using false Handles. Well, you need to wait awhile before Boasting that you found a Gem. Only time will tell. Welcome back, Mr Peabody

[MM]

... in response to Hi Mike, posted by greg on Dec 26, 2002

I'm not boasting that I found a gem. There are some days that she gets in such a cranky, crabby mood that I just stay away from her. Its funny how so many Filipinas dream of moving here, yet never take a second to separate reality from fiction. They don't think of the family and friends the're leaving, the weather, the traditional foods, and so on. After a few weeks here they realize,; wait a minute, things are not like tv at all. She has to work 9 hours a day for minimum wage as her education is of little value here as its taught at such a lower level in the Philippines. Some days its very, very cold for her, and she isn't really accepted by any Filipinas who worked hard for years in the Philippines to immigrate here independently, while she just hopped on the plane. I think over time, things will slowly change for the better but I would caution anyone who is waiting for their fiancee to take a reality check. Yes, many things are great and I'm very happy, but you must have unlimited patience and understanding to teach everything from how to use a door lock and key, to how to use a stove or read a map. Its just one day at a time for now, which turn into months, and hopefully years. It takes unbounded committment and perseverance from both husband and wife, and if either one gives up, I think your marriage will go into the gutter.

[kevin]

... in response to What its really like being married to a ..., posted by MM on Dec 28, 2002

I think she's got to either learn or embrace patients.  She is new living in Canada.  Whether Canada, the USA, or any other country, there is alot of adaptation to do in all aspects of life, and it can not be accomplished overnight.  Someday your wife will be able to use her education for a better job, but most likely not overnight.  She'll have to be patient in looking for something better.  She may need remedial schooling.  Or she may have to work part-time for a while, so the remaining time can be used to polish her work skills.

There is no such thing as instant gratification or instant riches.  There's no such thing as reaching a big goal overnight.  In your case, the petitioning process is a good example.  It took time.  Such is the first of many hurdles that it will take to make a life together and interlock your lifestyles with one another,

- Kevin

[tomtneal]

... in response to What its really like being married to a ..., posted by MM on Dec 28, 2002

Yep i agree,but man is it ever worth it
tneal

[Stephen]

... in response to Hi Mike, posted by greg on Dec 26, 2002

It's easy for a young buck like yourself to advise on waiting a while about bragging on finding a good lady.

But for an old, fat, ugly fart like me.....I'm so old I gotta brag now or I might not ever get to.

Stephen

[greg]

... in response to Well, Mr. Greg......, posted by Stephen on Dec 26, 2002

You already know that your one of the Lucky ones smile. I'm very happy that you found true Love,thats a blessing from God to be found by Love. I think that my Son's Mommie is a good Woman, the plm is that she's already married(hasn't been with her Hubby for over eight years), Annulment in RP's a Pain. If it wasn't for my Son, I would move on and find a Pinay thats unmarried. I owe it to my Son to bring his Mother here(after she annulment her marriage), becuz I doubt that I would take him back to RP, tooo easy for her family circle to try and prevent him from leaving again. Sooo the only way for him to ever see his Mommie is for her to come here. Mr Peabody