What went wrong?

[Felix]

First,Merry Christmas and happy New Year 2002!
This board has been very informative and I learned a lot!Thanks to all of you for your inputs.
    I need more advices from you and here is my problem:
Few months ago, I purchassed addresses of the brazilian girls at Latineuro. Out of 20 contacts I made with brazilian girls, two girls replied through emails that they were no more available, one letter came back because the address was wrong, two girls replied through regular mail. Among the two girls who replied through regular mail, I disqualified one because she told me that she had somebody in Brazil but beside that,she was willing to have me as a friend and I could even visit her. So, I kept one girl who seemed very honnest and passionate.
    In her first letter, she told me that she was interested in me and she gave me also her personal informations; she was working as a  nurse and at the same time she was going to school; she was student at University. She told me also in her first letter that she had received an invitation to go study medicine in Europe next year but she doesn't know yet. In the same letter she described the kind of man she will like to have as a husband.
    I sent a second letter and In my second letter I asked her if she was living alone or with relatives; I told her also that I could visit her in the future. I asked her pictures because in her first letter, she didn't send it.I asked her also if she was planning to have kids in the near future. She replied my second letter by saying that she was living with her parents; that she will be happy to meet me, she promised to send her pictures in her third letter. Finally, what I find contradictory in her second letter is that she said"I am not ready to have kids now, I must study first and only after I can have kids." I found it contradictory because in my first letter( introduction letter), I tried to make things very clear by giving all the details on me: I am a black guy, originally from Africa but I am now an american citizen, I just graduated in electrical Enginneering,
I am looking for job now; my goal is to find a girl I can marry later if everything goes well....In fact, I didn't won't a girl to think that I am a sex tourist or to think that we will be just friends for exchanging ideas and learn cultures.
    After her second letter,I wrote to her and ask her to tell me if I could purchasse an airplane ticket in order to visit her in March 2001; I asked her also if her family is informed of the letters I am sending to her and if so, what they think. Since then, the silence is total. My third letter was written at the beginning of November. Normally,our previous letters took two weeks each way to get to the destination. Note also that when I was always putting coupons in my letters to help her to reply and all our letters were written in portuguese. What went wrong??? I need your advices. Is my procedure bad? was it a bad thing to talk about marriage in my correspondance?
    Once again, thanks and Merry Christmas.

[SteveG]

... in response to What went wrong?, posted by Felix on Dec 24, 2002

Felix,
 After reading your post a couple of times, I am thinking there's more than a small chance that you may have frightened her away by moving too fast.  Think about it and put yourself in her shoes, after only 2 letters from a guy, he sends a 3rd that asks if your family knows about him(this implies marriage very strongly) and then asks to come and see you now or very soon.   That can be pretty intimidating to a woman - if she is a good girl with a conscience she may feel as if she is almost agreeing to marry you (or at least implying this) by letting you come visit and she may just opt to avoid the whole issue by never answering the letter.  Who knows though, this is just one possible scenario.   The real answer for why you haven't heard from her may be that her response letter got lost in the mail.  It happened to me more than once.

 If you are seriously interested in her, try writing again in a week or two.  Maybe try cooling down on marriage some and just be friendly with her.  Try to make her laugh - that always works with women.  If it's meant to be, it will happen.    No matter what happens with her though, don't let a bad experience with one woman discourage you and make you quit.  If you keep at it, you will find what you are looking for and I am living proof it's worth all the effort.

                                     SteveG

[fkklota]

... in response to What went wrong?, posted by SteveG on Dec 24, 2002

Thanks to all of you guys. Your reactions to my article have been very helpful. I got some light on my problem now.In fact, there are many things to take in account as you pointed it out to me: the girl may be out of town or her mother sick, my letter may be lost, the girl may be receiving hundreds of letters from Penpals especially if she is horny( for sure she is horny, very tasty and give a lot of water in the mouth just looking at her picture), I may have frightened the girl by going to fast....
    I will take all your advices into account.
    Happy New year 2002 and May many of us find true love!

    Felix.

[Raptor]

... in response to What went wrong?, posted by Felix on Dec 24, 2002

It sounds like you did most everything right.

But remember andthing can happen with women.  Maybe her mother got ill.  Or maybe she had to travel somewhere.

I would not be too hard on your self.

Merry Christmas

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: What went wrong?Maybe nothing, posted by Raptor on Dec 24, 2002

I agree and remember there's always the possibility (likelihood maybe) that she's corrosponding with others and just chose to focus on one of her other pretendientes.

[pack]

... in response to Re: Re: What went wrong?Maybe nothing, m..., posted by Cali vet on Dec 24, 2002

thats right vet...especially if shes a honey...shes recieving hundreds of letters from all around the world.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What went wrong?Maybe nothin..., posted by pack on Dec 24, 2002


You shouldn't have to go too far back. He has posted extensive info on some ladies from Brazil, that he was writing to. Two of the women, have recieved hundreds of letters, but the men never visit. Do you plan on visiting anytime soon? Be easy on yourself, no one ever said, that this would be easy. Stay with it & write other women also. Abrutha, points out some serious logistical issues in dealing with women from Brazil. I believe he's registered here. Give him a shout!

Good luck...

[TexasRob]

... in response to Check the archives for "abrutha&quo..., posted by Hoda on Dec 24, 2002

I stay in touch with him on e-mail.  He has pictures posted on the web somewhere of his trips to Brazil.  I have thought very serious about checking Brazil out.  He has some good things to say.

[pack]

... in response to Check the archives for "abrutha&quo..., posted by Hoda on Dec 24, 2002

dont forget happy feet!

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What went wrong?Maybe nothin..., posted by pack on Dec 24, 2002

Yes I meant to add " if she's a honey" thanks.

[pack]

... in response to What went wrong?, posted by Felix on Dec 24, 2002

no its not a bad thing to talk about marriage in your letters..after all its supposed to be a marriage service..these womwn ar supposed to be looking for a future husband.

when you go the mail way instead of the agency way you are playing a real numbers game..only a small number will respond. i have to date mailed about 65 letters i have recieved about 15 responses, and out of the 15 either myself or the girls have narrowed it down to about 5 active,interested girls.

if you decide to continue with the letter writing method you will have to send more letters (its a numbers game).

[TexasRob]

... in response to Re: What went wrong?, posted by pack on Dec 24, 2002

Pack, Have you met any of the girls in person you met through letter writing?  I am thinking seriously of doing this because I think you could get a headstart on getting to know the person.  On the other hand I met two girls in Mexico this way and one girls description said 5' 4" and slim,  the other girls said 5' 5" and 105 lbs.  Neither girl will ever see 5' 2" and the slim part had to have been in another life.  I am curious if people find the descriptions acurate when they finally meet the lady.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Letter Writing?, posted by TexasRob on Dec 24, 2002

I met my wife by letter writing, actually her profile was on a site called kiss.com. I responded to her ad/profile and it went from there.

  Surely you requested photos of those ladies before commiting to travel to meet them. My wife sent numerous photos of herself and her family before I flew to Peru to meet her. Even if a girl does not have access to email, she can always send you some photos by regular mail. If she says she can't, I would look elsewhere.

[TexasRob]

... in response to Re: Letter Writing?  Worked for me-, posted by Red Clay on Dec 24, 2002

Yeah they sent photos but I was never able to see the full body view.  Both were beautiful but just much larger than what I was looking for.  It was my first time corresponding like that and I asked many questions trying to get an idea of the weight thing, without being point blank about it.  That is something I will not do in the future.  I will be tactful but I will know these things before going anywhere.

I was looking at the Kiss.com site and it looked good.  I also saw several the AFA site from Cartegena site that I plan to write.

[pack]

... in response to Letter Writing?, posted by TexasRob on Dec 24, 2002

well actually to be honest i think the agency way is the best,and fastest way to meet the ladies. however i had such a bad experience my last time in cali i decided it was time i look around a little bit and maybe try something different this time. so i got involved in this letter writting to brazil girls and so far its ok...its at least worth a  try...who knows i may end up back in cali later? yes i do think the letter writting can be decieving...you really dont know what your gonna get till you get there...its a chance you take.