Innocence?

[FenixRises]

Hi All,
Having followed the "scamming" thread I offer this opinion for your consideration.
Whether you go across the block, across town, across the state, across the country or even to another country in your search for a wife, partner, lover, spouse, significant other or whatever the proper PC term is these days you cannot leave your baggage behind.
You will get exactly what you deserve. Finding a relationship is not like going to the store. You cannot simply pick the one you want off the self an take her (or him?) home with you, happily forever and ever amen. People pick each other and from thier viewpoint after the fact, for better or worse. "Scammers" and "scamees" naturally go together in the same way that con-artists always seem to con someone who believes that they are going to get something for nothing. So take your skeletons out of your closet and dust them off. Take a good look at them and be honest with yourself. Self knowledge is the best preparation you can make in your search for happiness.
Fred

[digital1942]

... in response to Innocence?, posted by FenixRises on Dec 19, 2001

Unfortunetly you are repeating the same pop psychology that has infiltrated America and is progressively weakening the American character.  This is a pop psychology which makes every problem subjective and blurs distinctions critical to judging objective reality.  There is a distinction between real victims and manufactured victims and your "self knowledge" (ohmmmmmm padmi ohmmm) will not always protect you.  And when someone intentionally lies to you in order to get something of value its called "fraud in the inducement" and is a crime.   On the other hand, I agree with you that we can lower our vulnerability signficantly by being realistic and honest enough with ourselves to recognize the red flags and get out when we can.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Innocence?, posted by digital1942 on Dec 20, 2001


In the story you gave us recently, you recognized some peculiarities and you moved on wisely.  Sure you were out some cash for the night on the town but your damages were limited to the cost of a meal and gas. I agree totally, all the self knowledge in the world would not have saved you from your $50 loss.

On the other hand, what about the scams where there is significant amounts of money or assets involved.  These cases never revolve around just one date (unless the guy is a total idiot).  They occur over time and in every case that I've been aware of there were big red flags all along the way.  I think what Fred is suggesting quite correctly is that our baggage may affect our ability to see the red flags and deal with them appropriately.

El Diablo

[Ralph]

... in response to Innocence?, posted by El Diablo on Dec 20, 2001

Sure, and some guys are "blind" to red flags. Some guys might continue to "date" a woman that always shows up with her "interpreter", blind to the fact that it is her boyfriend. Maybe someon should warn them;-)

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Innocence?, posted by Ralph on Dec 20, 2001

I'm not against warnings, just warnings without details.  Were've you been keeping yourself Ralph?

[Ralph]

... in response to Innocence?, posted by El Diablo on Dec 21, 2001

I have been swamped with work and also lost my darn password. Now I am back to posting as Ralph as the password reminder gave me that username. Boy is this confusing!

I'll be on Vacation for the next 9 days, so maybe I'll be poking around a bit more.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Innocence?, posted by Ralph on Dec 20, 2001


Are you in NYC? Drop me a line if & when you are.

Hoda

[Ralph]

... in response to Yo Ralph....., posted by Hoda on Dec 21, 2001

I'm heading to NY tomorrow AM. I'll be there till the 30th. You're not gonna tell me that Stivalis is here, are ya? ;-)
I'm sure we'll head to NYC to see the tree and maybe visit the CopaCabana etc. Drop me an email or call my cell 516 909 8817.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Yo Ralph....., posted by Ralph on Dec 21, 2001


she was here *sign*. I'll be strong & mad (lol) until she gets here! I'll catch you, when you get here. Please don't wear your Spurs cap...LMAO!!!!

Hoda....

[Ralph]

... in response to I wish....., posted by Hoda on Dec 21, 2001

Hey, I was at the Spurs game last night. I've been to three games so far. One of my employees has season tickets, and is on the road a bunch, so we get to go. Iris is a fan now. She gets more nervous than I do. I'd still root for the Knicks if they come to town. Give me a buzz or drop me an email. Maybe we'll catch a beer and watch a game or somethin. I promise not to rub it in on how much better Christmas is when you get to spend it with your lady;-)
This will be our second xmas in NY. Gotta love it.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: I wish....., posted by Ralph on Dec 21, 2001


Your second xmas together huh? (Hoda sticks fingers in ears & screams...I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I CAN'T HEAR YOU...LOL).
I'm gonna catch your narra azz here, even if it's only for a NYC MINUTE!!!

[Ralph]

... in response to Oh, you won't rub it in huh?....I HATE Y..., posted by Hoda on Dec 21, 2001

My azz is far from narra;-)

[El Diablo]

... in response to Innocence?, posted by FenixRises on Dec 19, 2001

Hi Fred,

Well spoken and I think you've nailed it in many respects.  Speaking for myself, I know that I was most susceptible to scams on my very first couple of trips to Cali.  My God, I know this anology is spoken of often but I truly felt like a kid in a candy store.  I was meeting all these seemingly nice and incredibly beautiful women. Hey it was like fantasy island and I was on my Cali high.  (I still desire a fix now and again) But intoxication whatever form it takes is not the state to be in when looking for a lifemate. I think this may be one the problems we guys run into when we go South.

El Diablo

[Jes]

... in response to Innocence?, posted by FenixRises on Dec 19, 2001

n/t