I made up my mind to go very quickly. Well actually when I found out that I succeeded in my legal endeavors I wanted to leave as soon as I could get it all arranged. I work for a new company since Marissa and I met. I had been offered a very large raise over the previous company but I turned it down because I wanted to marry Marissa – gave up on the legal battles why not a few hundred more in salary. If I took the job I would not be able to hold Marissa for 18 months or longer. The company came back with a sweetened offer and threw in 2 weeks vacation this year! I accepted. As soon as they accepted I told them when I wanted the vacation and scheduled it.
Have you ever noticed that when things go right they all go right, and when things go wrong they all go wrong. Well all I can say is that nothing better think about going wrong with me right now – it doesn’t stand a chance! I bet all you guys are hoping I don’t purchase a lottery ticket in your state because if I did I would win. I mean nothing would dare going wrong right now. I have the most wonderful woman to love, a 25% increase in salary, 2 weeks vacation after only 5 months of work. More. Okay. My best friend paid for the trip to Davao as a wedding gift. Enough? No? 1st class all the way! Think I’m through? Problems just melt with Marissa – whoosh – gone – not even a wet puddle left.
Several debts owed to me went bad with me depending on the payment for the trip. Offers from everywhere to help! I even was begged to return to an old job site to see if I could restore lost programming and operationally of the equipment. I am no longer the definition of “Murphy’s Law” but rather the teasing titillating challenge that nothing had better even try to go wrong because I would overcome and squash it unmercifully, effortlessly. I even managed to assist two families in my church with some serious financial help and not notice the financial effort. Heavenly Father isn’t going to let anything happen to this effort to meet and marry the girl he confirmed in my heart.
Wow! Wow! Wow! The times are a changing!
I purchased my tickets from Ron Perry at Virgin Beach Resort on Cebu Island. Since I had ordered my tickets late there were none. I was flying at the Christmas Holiday time and tickets had been all sold out for several weeks. Not a problem for the “non-Murphy’s Law” Art. Ron found the tickets I needed and got them scheduled. I do recommend that you try to purchase all your tickets through your fiancée thought because they get better price breaks. I both called and tried to purchase additional tickets through PAL and Ron but found that Marissa could get the same tickets for 1/3rd the price.
I called Marissa and insisted she met me in Manila because I would be there for 2 days alone. It required that I purchase two tickets for her and her chaperone, hotel rooms, meals, etc, and of course that her family allows her to come. Turned out that there were to be college finals on that day that she believed that she could get early test for her courses. Later it turned out that the tests were to be the day after I arrived in Davao. All done and planned.
The days leading up to the event were excruciating. Every worry a man could have came up. I feared the worst possible scenario at every turn – I had been the definition of Murphy’s Law for so long I forgot how to act when Heavenly Father was blessing me. I finally had to come to terms with these blessings. The joy was beyond comparison and nothing seemed more important than our love and the events leading to our meeting and hopefully marriage.
The day of the trip came. I got my daughter to give me a ride to the airport. Good thing I checked the flight times because not was the flight to leave early it was at Hobby Airport not Bush Airport. I told my daughter how happy I was. She agreed and then told me about two dates she had coming up. She was starting to accept the relationship. She wished me a good trip and kissed me on the cheek.
The airport was exciting for a change. Everything seemed heightened in detail. I noticed so many people looking at me. I was sure it was just casual glances but still they looked. I must have had a smile on my face that made people notice me. I also found out through a conversation with the ticket taker that there were several others on the trip from Houston to Los Angeles to Manila. I noticed one very large Asian family, at least 23-24 members, all-flying together. The flight to Los Angeles was a nightmare. A man flying with his two young children sat behind me. The oldest boy kicked my seat all the way. At times he just decided to scream at the top of his lungs. 3.5 Hours of misery in a cramped seat. Upon arrival in Los Angeles I had a 4-hour lay over. I checked in to the Philippines Air Lines and went to the Mabuhay Lounge and talked with several Americans and Filipinas going to the Phils. One guy named Chris was going to meet his fiancé, a Filipina of 36 years of age. He met her through a neighbor and finally decided to travel to meet her. There was one young couple in the lounge and later directly in front of me on the plane. The Filipina clearly worshiped her husband and saw to it that every need he had was met. He asked for nothing and got everything.
I sat beside Dom, a Filipino that immigrated to Los Angeles and taught ESL (English as a Second Language) at a local High School. He had not been home in 35 years and was clearly as excited as I was to being going there for the marriage of a niece. His wife and children had gone a few days before him. His 23-year-old son had been complaining he was bored – I said to him I didn’t know how it was possible in a country of so many beautiful women that he could be so “bored”. He agreed! We talked quite a few times about things I should say and do, things to expect when I got here. The flight was very long but I took some sleep aids and actually slept about 9 hours of the flight.
PAL Flight PR103 arrived at 5:05 AM, which was 1 hour early. I hated it. I knew that Marissa would not be there at that time. Dom assured me that she would be there but I was right – she wasn’t it. Again the worries started. I stared out the window as I waited for my luggage to see if she arrived. It was odd somehow I was one of the 1st off the plane and when luggage started coming through mine was first but I was one of the very last to leave? I walked the line of peoples waiting several times while Dom watched my luggage. Soon Dom’s family arrived, I said goodbye to him and bye to Chris and I still waited. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw this vibrant red blouse attached to this gorgeous smiling Filipina that was running towards me. Bear! She yelled! Everyone was watching us of course but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I guess somehow I noticed that she had her two cousins with her, Joyal and Doung, as I was lead to a cab. I began to wonder where the Palma’s were? They were supposed to meet me as well but I was told that they called and said they had a flat tire. Honey’s cousin told me that they wanted to stay at a hotel by the Glorietta Mall instead of way out where the Palma’s lived. I agreed.
Finally we were on our way to the hotel and I looked at Marissa and she smiled. I leaned down and told her how happy I was and that she was much more beautiful that I had expected and I had expected a lot. She blushed. I was in love again. She’s done that to me so many times – making me fall in love with her over and over and over. I even wrote that in a letter to her parents a couple of months ago. “I fell in love with your daughter – well actually, I fell in love with her several times”, I said. She told me that they really smiled when they read that. Now she was smiling at me and that warmth of love poured over me and I was falling in love all over again. I cannot count the times I have fallin’ in love in the last 5 days (at the time of this writing).
Manila was not what I expected. It was humongous but there were 30 buildings that were not completed. 40-50 Story towers that were shells only. Art Palma told me that it was from the financial crisis of 1997. All construction projects were foreclosed on then. There were lots of people literally living in the streets. I had not expected that. At the same time though as we went to SM (Shoe Mart – like Wal-Mart) the store was packed to the walls with customers. So was Glorietta Mall. The air smelled of burnt paper but no one else seemed to notice it but me. A lot of people walked around holding handkerchiefs over their mouths. Nearly everyone wore blue jeans or some color of jean. A few wore nicer clothes – clearly a sign of status. I attempted to purchase a nice pants suit at one point for Marissa but she said that she would have no place to wear it.
Both of Marissa’s cousins were out of work. Joyal was single, about 30, and unemployed but Doung, about 36, his wife was a schoolteacher. He babysitted while his wife worked because they could not afford a babysitter. He had been a factory worker in Taiwan but since he was older now they would not long employ him. Yet their mother had a stack of presents under the tree that was the largest I had ever seen in my life. I kid you not at least 2-300 presents. I guess everyone was coping? I offered Doung some money for his assistance but he refused and so did his sister Joyal was supposed to be our chaperone. She was the best chaperone I ever had. Only time I saw her was when I wanted to. She helped us get around Manila when we had someplace to go then disappeared again. Marissa and I had plenty of time to get to know each other without the concern of PDA’s being observed.
We all slept in one hotel room. I heard several of the guys who came here say that that sort of thing occurred but Marissa and I had discussed it and decided that it would not happen with us. But...It did. I was actually very embarrassed about the situation at first but was able to separate the beds with a partition. I had the laptop I bought for Marissa with me with over 600 songs I downloaded from Napster on it. I turned on WinAmp and we listened to Christmas music and love songs all night.
It seems that I would never get to sleep though. Everything was early. The time to be at the Embassy was 7:30 Am so we had to get up early. The plane left for Davao at 5:10 AM so we had to awake early. I didn’t get a good night sleep until Tuesday night. Marissa had to go to college for finals so I slept in. I really needed the rest but like the song “I don’t wan’t to miss a thing”.
Meeting her parents and family was a breeze. Everyone stayed home from school to meet me and her Dad didn’t have a job for the day. I brought presents for the whole family. I gave her father a good craftsman pocket tool, her mother some biscuits (chocolate variety), each of the brothers a University of Texas Longhorns sleeveless t-shirt and one for her sister as well, but with sleeves. The youngest two boys got stickers and “bears”. I brought 6 sacks of candy (they ate all of it and didn’t give me any!). I gave Marissa a planner.
Asking her father to marry her didn’t happen. I think? We did start talking about it and I intended to and tried too but instead we found ourselves at the city offices, applying for the licenses necessary and her father coming along to sign. I had planned on saying something cute and remember-able but I was robbed!!! I did kneel before Marissa and tell her that I wasn’t going to ask her to marry me because she belonged to me I was just going to marry her and make her as happy as Heavenly Father would allow me too. I told her that I would never hurt her intentionally, yell at her or hit her and that if she did something that required I react would tickle her. I only wanted to love her and make her happy. I got a wonderful hug and “I love you”.
For those of you who know about crab mentality it is alive and well in the Phils. For those of you who do not know I will explain. If you put one crab in a bucket it will get out. By clawing and struggling till it succeeds. But if you put two crabs in one bucket the other will always prevent the other from climbing out of the bucket by pulling them back in. Marissa’s college is like the crabs. Marissa was on a full scholarship in Accountancy. But the scholarship contract said that if she married she would have to reimburse the school for the costs. Ok. I can understand that part. But the thing that I do not understand is that why did they make her work 14 -16 hours a day, 7 days a week and not pay her for it and think that she owed them for anything? We received a bill for P12051.23 tuition costs. I was very angry but I tried not to show it. I didn’t bring a lot of money because of the many things occurring back home and to have to take so much out for a slavery school ticked me off. I told Marissa to tell them that they would receive a bill for her labor and that I would not assist her brothers and sister in going to school if they went to that college. I also told her that she would need to transfer to the other college here in Davao. I know that her cum laude degree meant a lot to her but I didn’t see rewarding the crab mentality and I get very defensive when someone does something that hurts her. This school had allowed other co-workers to take unfair advantage of her, teachers to be unkind and intolerant when she complained about the unfair treatment and forced her to work excessively long hours that did not allow her to go to church on Sundays. I will not support that.
I think getting the papers for the marriage license is a joke. I think it just provides people with a bureaucracy of jobs and needless interference in people’s lives. Marissa and I will have to take “Family planning” courses before anyone will allow the ten-day waiting period to begin. I thought the questions they asked were rude and intrusive. This means missing more school at final time that means more make ups which means more time we cannot be together. GGGGRRRRRrrrrrrrrr!
Parties. Yes it is Christmas time. And there are parties. We have one all night party to go to on Friday with Marissa’s college friends and one of the teachers from the school invited us to one Thursday night plus tonight I have one at Marissa’s house to meet more of her family.
