Frustrated beyond belief

[Noah]

I have been looking for a nice and pretty girl from the Phillipines and elsewhere in Asia, but it seems like every girl I write to from these dating websites winds up asking for money within a few times of chatting.
Im still a member on CB website, but every girl there has been a scammer so far.

I joined 3 of the popular websites, but it was a total waste of money.  I even went on a month long trip to Thailand, China, and vietnam, but didn't meet anybody i realy liked. I like women from the Phillipines very much also, but didn't have a chance to go there.

I'm not sure I ever chatted with a single honest girl from those websites. I lived and worked in Asia for years also, I'm fairly young, and very good looking, have a great job, but can't seem to find a beautiful and honest girl.

Do you guys have any decent suggestions?
Thanks!

[doombug]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005

I remember the days of CB...  (I assume you mean Cherry Blossoms.)

Got addicted to that site for nearly a year.  The chat room, the frequent PM's, all the pretty faces...  

But, after a while, I could tell nothing much had changed.  The con was still on.  I'd been in the PI on a few occasions back in the late 80's, and many of those same cons I'd witnessed first hand.

It's a strange phenomenon with the PI woman that I've yet to see among women elsewhere:  They'll backstab each other to get at you; they know how to butter you up (even the teens seem groomed in the art); and they're persistent as hell.  

Still, many of 'em are downright, irresistibly cute.  My groin despised me whenever I hit the "Ignore" button.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005

It's hard for me to conceive that you've been on this quest for a while and have yet to meet anybody you really liked, and that every girl you've met on CB so far has been a scammer. So far you've said you are just looking for a "nice and pretty, beautiful and honest" girl. I run into those on a daily basis. Can you elaborate on what you're REALLY looking for? I'm guessing you have a quite a long list of qualifications that you're glossing over for brevity in your post. Have you ever been married before? While flat out asking you for money is a huge red flag, her implying that she's looking for a better life should be a huge green flag (at least for me, an attitude of continual improvement was something that I really appreciated in my own wife when we were dating.)

Love isn't something you find or all into, nor is it about your heart going pitter pat when you meet. It's putting in the effort day after day. It's both of you working at it year after year and trusting each other more and more to hold up each other's end. That's what's going to be left your head gets greyer and shinier, when lines start appearing on her face, and when you both start having to buy bigger clothes. Finding a woman who has the character to put in the effort and stick it out for the long haul is far more important that just about anything else you could look for. Personally I think women are far better equipped to handle that than men. It's also the very rare woman (at least Asian woman) who would not recognize the gem she really has if the man has that same attitude in a marriage.

Anyway, I'd look first long and hard in the mirror before making another eight country sweep to look for someone nice and pretty who makes your pulse quicken, to really understand exactly what you want, what exactly you're willing and aren't willing to put up with and maybe most importantly, what you are willing to do to make it happen. There are tens of thousands of nice, pretty, honest girls out there. Finding one with the right attitude to stick it out for the long run and one you're willing to do the same with is the trick.

Sorry, if this sounds negative or preachy. I tend to get a bit philosophical in my old age. Six more months and I'll have been married 20 years, so I look at things far differently now then when I was in my 30s and single. I just have seen how my wife and my relationship has evolved through the ebb and flows of our marriage.

Several have made suggestions about relatives of wives of people on this board. That's an excellent place to start. These ladies shouldn't have been propagandized into thinking they're trying to win the lottery, as some of the agency girls might. They'll probably have far more realistic feedback from their already married and in the US relatives.

- Jeff

[Noah]

... in response to Re: Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Jeff S on Jul 3, 2005

Yes I agree with all your points, but what I've found at least through meeting girls onthe internet is that they say "i love you" during the first or second chat, and always end up asking for money by the third.  

OF course I met some beautiful girls that I would have been happy with when I was overseas, but I had a Thai girlfriend for 3 years that I was faithful to. unfortunately I later found out that she was not faithful, but we ended up parting as friends.

I didn't meet any that I was truly interested in on my last trip, except one girl I spent a few weeks within China. She was wonderful and we even talked about getting engaged ,but then I found out later was actually alrady engaged to another guy from UK and wanted to meet me also. I have to no idea how to contact him or I would have told him about her.

Anyway, I'm not in a big hurry ro anything, but I do think there are tens of thousands of beautiful girls out there who would be more than happy to have a young, kind, and handsome husband who actually repects women.

It's true I am very picky with looks, but that's just natural that there is a strong attraction. I'm very good looking myself, so wny not find a pretty wife also? I think it's silly to lower standards when looking for a wife. I would rather not get married at all. Thanks!

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Re: Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 3, 2005

NOAH:

I had a Thai girlfriend for 3 years that I was faithful to. unfortunately I later found out that she was not faithful, but we ended up parting as friends.

STEPHEN:

Here's a good general rule:  When you date Jennifer Lopez, you've got to deal with her f#%$ed up mind.

Just how many of these beautiful, desirable, hot women of hollywood would you want to be married to?  They are damaged goods!

Noah....you want a model.  These kind of gals are very much into themselves and into using others to get what they want.  You proceed at your own risk with these gals.  You've already done about as good as you will be able to do.  So if you want a model, then keep doing what you've been doing.

You can find a very pretty lady in the Phils.  But when you see a "drop dead beautiful" lady (the model type), then run the other way.  There is a price to be paid for these "drop dead beautiful" models.  IT'S TOO HIGH.  YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT.

There's a vast difference between the "beautiful" woman and the "model" woman.

Just my thoughts.

Stephen

[Keith NC]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Stephen on Jul 7, 2005

Stephen,

I had a buddy one time that dated the model type.   All he did was whine and worry all the time.  The guy was a complete basket case.  He didn't get is sanity back until she was long gone.  Now he is happily married to a wonderful woman and has two kids.

As for the model type.  The last I heard she was still going through guys like a roll of toilet paper.  Using them until she sucked them dry.  On to the next one.  

Keth

[Bob S]

... in response to Excellent!, posted by Keith NC on Jul 16, 2005

Well, sometimes a young guy just has to chase the glitter before he learns to value what is truly important.

If the Far East doesn't have what he's looking for, I'd send the OP to Moscow or St. Pete.  Model quality babes are so common there, you can't sling a dead cat on the streets without hitting one or three.  If he doesn't find what he wants there, he'll most certainly find what he needs.  (Heaven knows I did.)

[senior citizen]

... in response to Excellent!, posted by Keith NC on Jul 16, 2005

Models think men should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong and disposable.

Q: Why do models marry rock stars?
A: Because they DESERVE each other.

Q: Why does a model smile at lightning?
A: She thinks she's getting her picture taken!

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at the admiring passengers seated around her. Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, "Miss, I'm sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you're seated in first class; I'm afraid you'll have to move." The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model." Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, "I'm sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you'll have to move back." The blonde replies, sweetly, "I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model" --and shows no signs of moving. Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he'll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first class. Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde's ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment. Slightly amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, "Captain, I'm impressed...what did you say to her?" The captain grinned slyly and said, "I just told her that the first class cabin doesn't go to New York."

[Keith NC]

... in response to Re: Excellent!, posted by senior citizen on Jul 16, 2005

LOL.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Stephen on Jul 7, 2005

:-)

[Keith NC]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005

Noah,

I know it is easy to get discouraged but keep your head up!  I communicated with about twenty Pinays before I found my fiancee and fell inlove.  I had some that asked for money, so I immediately stopped communicating with those.  I lost interest in others and some lost interest in me.  

Some of the guys wives here have sisters or cousins that would appreciate a guy like you.  Give it a try!  

Keith

[Bear]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005

seem to pick the right girl, let someone else do it for you.  The most successful marriages are through introductions.  I know or a fact that every Filipina here has 2-3 ladies she'd gladly introduce a good man to.  Find one you respect and ask for introductions.  I know one Filipina who has 3 sisters in their 30's who'd love some action - and all are fairly nice looking.

Filipinas just have no respect for stupid people.  I'm proud of you dude for not sending them money!  So many guys have made it bad for guys like you by doing just that.  But you are right, the good filipinas won't ask for a penny, ever.  Met a guy the other day who sends $1,000/mo to the R.P.  It was everything I could do to get up and leave peaceably and not start a confrontation.  A few months ago I had to deal with a little tampo because I jumped all over a slut who married a guy and then divorced him 1 year later.  Not because I was wrong but because it might alienated her from some of her friends.  Now that girl knows if I'm gonna be there she'd better not be.  Funny how that seem to split the group a little.  Those who think stupid people should get what they deserve and those who think its wrong to use people.

The Bear Family

[gregory03]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005

For over ten months I communicated with numerous  Filipinas on Cherry Blossoms using webcam chatt, emailing. Almost all were poor or jobless, only two Pinays openly asked for financial monetary assistance. I Simply ignore any request for money.

[stevjulietb]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005

Juliet has a cousin???

Steveb

[Craigjjs]

... in response to Frustrated beyond belief, posted by Noah on Jul 1, 2005


I corresponded with 7 different Vietnamese ladies.  Not one asked for money, not even my fiance.

I corresponded with about 5 filipinas.  Only one asked for money.

A number of these ladies I met on CB.  Maybe you have bad luck.  Maybe you made bad choices.

Craig