... in response to Re: Re: I don't know if its..., posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2005Some women like to be spanked. Sexual submissiveness. Hitting to enforce discipline is generally a mistake. I knew a man who married a (Caucasian American) woman who liked to be slapped around occasionally. She felt if he wouldn't pop her when she got out of line that he didn't care about her. She would keep at him, getting worse and worse until he'd slap her across the chops (not too hard) or turn her over his knee (fairly hard). Afterwards she was happy as a lark, singing while she did her housework and making sure she was dressed provocatively when he got home the next evening and having torrid sex. I remember thinking it takes all kinds and I was happy they never had children. Heaven knows how such a home life would have messed up the kids. Abuse equals love? Yuck.
I was never married to an AW. Honey was my first and only wife. But you can bet I saw a ton of ruined marriages in 20 years the service. Mostly AW, but quite a few who had married Koreans who became Jehova's Witnesses (Korean branches all over the US). It was the old "give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile" thing. As soon as the women got knocked up they knew they had their husbands by the cojones.
I wouldn't know how NOT to be head of the household. And I have never raised a hand to even threaten her. Didn't have to. A hard look or a drop of about a half an octave in my voice always did the trick. And it was not a threat, even then. I have never used verbal abuse or anything of the sort. She knew when I was annoyed and made sure she didn't keep it up. She gets her way in most things by buttering me up, not screaming. It is sort of like a 1950's Donna Reed TV marriage. Daddy makes the money, daddy makes the decisions, daddy is the master of the castle. She liked it that way.
Honey has never given me anything but respect as HoH, and made sure the children did, too. Maybe it was because of our age difference. Dunno the reason but she has never been shrewish at all. She was even a good little trooper when she was pregnant. I bring home the bacon, she cooks it. Simple. For as young as she was she settled into domesticity like a woman who had been married fifteen years. She was actually quite happy, by all signs, to be the wife and mother. Sort of like a big game of playing house, but for keepsies. She always made sure supper was on the table on time and that she looked good when I came through the front door. Makeup (not much) and a dress or blouse and skirt. It really is something nice when you know your wife makes herself look good for you - just because you came home from work. We settled the jealousy issue early on. There was a flare-up when the younger child left for college, and when she turned 30, then 40, but those were minor flashes, shooting blanks, as it were.
Having read the horror stories here and seen too many broken marriages in the Corps, I realize just how lucky I am. I married late but I married well. I am a very lucky man.
