... in response to Re: Re: Hey Unc, posted by Howard on Feb 26, 2005Thanks for the warning but nothing could have prepared me. When I told Jovie that children in the US are taught to not speak to strangers, she was horrified.
Tenten is a little over a year old and she is the center of attention a lot. She is so cute, and whenever she and I encounter each other, Jovie tells her to "bliss Oncle" so she grabs my hand and puts it on her forehead. Then waves. Divine loves to carry her around.
D'boy still cries a lot (I think he's almost 4 yrs old) and he works hard for negative attention. I think it will pass because his parents are very loving and patient with him. They don't overreact to the hitting and throwing things. He and Kent sit next to each other in the TV room baiting each other, and usually he gets Kent to cry. I call him the little monster because he is downright mean, but if he knew what I was saying I wouldn't call him that. I think he deserves a chance and I hope for the best in the development of his personality. His parents are certainly sweet people.
When Jovie brought Kent to CT Net the other day I must have taken 20 pictures of him. Asleep, awake, making faces at the webcam, eating ice cream. I miss him most because of the way he used to come tearing my way whenever Jovie and I returned home on the tricycle: "Kuya Luther! Kuya Luther!" Compare that to what I get from the young people where I work...well, never mind.
I took six rolls of film and had to leave them there. Jovie will get them developed when I send her the money. I got a good one of your mother-in-law weeping when I showed the video of you and Gerlie's wedding. And Auntie Thelma.
I noticed in more than one family, not just us Maquirans, that Filipinos are very affectionate with their children, they have a little to say about bad behavior but they don't seem to overreact and lay huge trips on their kids over small stuff, they are patient and hold their babies a lot. There is no room for baby buggies and car seats. Manang Emmie (Bert's wife) is taking care of her grandson Vince, and I swear that kid's feet don't touch the ground, she is always holding him.
A friend of mine who visited Bali told me the Balinese pass babies around so the child doesn't touch the ground for the first 200 days of its life. By the time they're 18 months old they're very independent, running around in the woods in unsupervised peer groups. I don't know if that's an exaggeration, but the general idea seems to be, give them security as helpless babies and they won't be helpless babies their whole life.
I want to mention that I did not see any melodrama or irritability in the household (and very little anywhere) despite close quarters. I think our hurry-hurry ways in this country are devastating what's left of our culture. People don't matter anymore, just things. It's all profit and productivity. Of course I flunked Reality 101 but when I was in the Phils I felt vindicated, like the professor of my Reality 101 class had lied so he could flunk me.
Well it's been one of those lives...
