Find a woman with a job

[don2222]

Hi all,

I have been living in the Philippines for about two years now, and I am constantly meeting Filipinas that claim to be seeking a job.  The woman will be in her twenties, and has never worked a day in her life.
When you ask them where they have applied for a job, you learn that despite their claim to be seeking a job, that they have never even once submitted an application to work anywhere.  So, since most Filipinos graduate high school at only 16, and they are now in their twenties, that is 5 to 13 years that they have never, ever held a job.  Yes, jobs are available, I see help wanted signs everywhere.    And, since most Filipinos only earn about $5 a day, who is it that is working and paying for the daily needs of these supposed  job seekers ??  Many you will find out have a sister, auntie, or cousin abroad, or sugar daddy that is supporting them and their family.
 What kind of qualities do you expect of someone that has never ever worked, and is totally dependent on others ??  Do you expect them to go abroad with you and instantly be responsible, hard working people, or would you expect them to be annoyed that they must now stop watching TV every day ?  
Also, I constantly hear of women that are in college, but then must stop going to college due to not being able to pay tuition.  Ok fine, it is great to get an education, but if you are not in school, then you should be working .
So, if you are seeking a quality Filipina to marry, I strongly suggest finding one that has a job, and has learned to be responsible.   I see hard working Filipinos every day, they accept the fact that their salary is low, but they work hard to take care of themselves and others.  I have met many Filipinos working 2 or even 3 jobs.  These are the people I admire.  They have ambition, and they follow that ambition to better themselves.
Also, I hear of so many foreigners that demand that their Filipina be available for chatting on the web cam any time day or night.  How possible for her to do that if she is one of the responsible ones that has a job ?
Well, if she is there at the internet cafe for chatting with you anytime you want, then guess what, she does have a job.  Her job is to sit at the internet cafe all day and chat with as many guys as possible.
So,  in my opinion, to find a good Filipina, find one that does have a job, and try to be understanding that she is not available to go to the internet cafe  for chatting anytime day or night.  A filipina with a job, in my opinion, is much more likely to be a responsible, mature, ambitious person.

Just my opinions only,

Don

[Howard]

... in response to Find a woman with a job, posted by don2222 on Jan 22, 2005

... an Internet Cafe

Worked GREAT for me

Seriuosly though, you make a great point.

Keep the Faith

H

[jon]

... in response to Find a woman with a job, posted by don2222 on Jan 22, 2005

What about gals that list self employeed?

Jon

[senior citizen]

... in response to Find a woman with a job, posted by don2222 on Jan 22, 2005

My gal was working when I met her, and that is how I met her, at her parent's business. She stopped working outside the home when the children were young, but when they were in HS she began working part time again to keep from being bored. After the kids flew the coop for college she worked a few more hours but still not full time as it was not necessary. About 20 hours max a week. She also does a lot of volunteer work for local charities and other organizations. So much so that I had to buy her a computer of her own. Working a little gives her some money of "her own" she can spend on whatever she desires. She was never lazy around the house, even when she was near term in her pregnancies. The home was still spotless until the day she left for the hospital. I am ashamed to say that it did not meet her standards three days later when she returned. I figured, how dirty can a house get in three days when I spend most of the day at the hospital? As it turns out, quite a bit according to her standards. To prevent her from doing too much at once I had a lady come in and help so she could rest and be with our babies more.

When it comes to the cleanliness of the house, she is a little strict (I should own stock in Swiffer). I was and am the worst offender. Like in the Tim Allen comedy special, "Everywhere you go you make this house dirty!" "Yeah, that's how I mark territory. Ar-ar-ar!" Actually I clean up after myself and am considered a very clean person by everyone else except Honey. But she loves me anyhow.

[Jay]

... in response to Find a woman with a job, posted by don2222 on Jan 22, 2005

[This message has been edited by Jay]

Hi Don,

I agree that finding a Filipina with a job is a good thing. However, not everybody CAN get a job there. It's not like the U.S.. You've been there 2 years and can't see that or what? I'm curious to know why this popped in your mind to talk to us about.

Anyway, don't think I'm flamin', I'm not. I'm just making conversation. :-) Criselda is in the Philippines with April and the Son in law, so I'm just passing time tonight writing this and reading the board.

Take Care,
Jay

[don2222]

... in response to Re: Find a woman with a job, posted by Jay on Jan 24, 2005

[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi Jay,

 My motivation for making that post was this :

"So, in my opinion, to find a good Filipina, find one that does have a job, and try to be understanding that she is not available to go to the internet cafe for chatting anytime day or night. A filipina with a job, in my opinion, is much more likely to be a responsible, mature, ambitious person"

I do meet a lot of responsible hard-working Filipinos, and many of them will ask me about foreigners because they are curious to learn.  The Filipinas very often will ask me why their foreigner boyfriend is so demanding when it comes to e-mail and chatting, and why he does not understand why she cannot be at the internet cafe all day and night for chatting.  So, in part, my post was actually trying to explain to guys chatting with Filipinas that they should be more patient and understanding of the fact that most Filipinos do not have a computer at home, and many times do not have the free time to sit at the internet cafe all day and night waiting to chat with the guy.

Also, not sure why you think I generalized and called Filipinos "lazy", did you miss this part of my post ?

"I see hard working Filipinos every day, they accept the fact that their salary is low, but they work hard to take care of themselves and others. I have met many Filipinos working 2 or even 3 jobs. These are the people I admire. They have ambition, and they follow that ambition to better themselves."

The generalization that I was trying to make is that some people are more responsible than others, and that the odds of finding a responsible person increases when you find someone that has the motivation to get out and do something rather than sit home and watch TV all day.  That generalization I would apply to any people from any country.

The way that I meet so many Filipinos to talk to is that I live with the Filipinos. I do not live in some expensive ex-pat compound, and I do not have helpers to do everything for me.  I have never been to the tourist places like Boracay and Baguio.  And when I do travel around the Phils, I travel to the smaller cities, and ride the cheap boats and buses, and stay in the same hotels where the Filipinos stay.  I like the Filipino people, and that is why I stay in the Phils.

So, again, what caused me to write the first post is my talking to so many Filipinas that DO try to be responsible, but have met guys on the internet that lack the understanding that she is trying to be a responsible person.
And, also, trying to let guys know that the women that do sit at the internet cafes all day and night might be less responsible. For me, I do suspect the motives of the ones that do sit at the internet cafes all day and night chatting.

You also take care,

Don

[Jay]

... in response to My motivation , posted by don2222 on Jan 25, 2005

[This message has been edited by Jay]

Hi Don,

Well, lets see. First off, I did read that part of your post, and did not say that you said Filipino's were lazy. Jeff said his daughters boss's wife was lazy. So I used the word. By his own admission, he does not know alot about Filipina's. He was explaining that from reading your post, he was begining to change his mind about Filipina's. That's when I stepped in.

You see, I dont really disagree with what your saying. On the surface saying, "A filipina with a job, in my opinion, is much more likely to be a responsible, mature, ambitious person" is a logical assumption. However, at the same time you COULD say, "A filipina with a job, is usualy someone who for a number of reasons, CAN'T get a job". Why do you think Filipino's come HERE?? It ain't the weather.

Now I will grant you this. You are living there NOW, and I am back here in the States. I have not been back for 7+ years. It was before the widespread use of the Internet. However, I KNOW Filipino's ain't changed THAT much in 7+ years. You see, what struck me about your post is, that you
make it sound like Filipina's without jobs don't really want to work. Not true. If you see a help-wanted sign up for too long in that country, next time ask about the job. I'll bet the pay and conditions aren't fit for a dog. Even a Filipino won't take the job, desperate as they are. Also, your post makes it sound to me, like most Filipina's have foreigner boyfriends. Or, are seriously thinking of having one. They AREN'T. Most Filipina's have Filipino boyfriends. The same way most French girls have French boyfriends, Japanese girls have Japanese boyfriends, and American girls have American boyfriends. I know only a tiny fraction of Filipina's are online or sitting in internet cafe's. It may look like alot, and I'm sure the number is rising yearly, but it's still only a small amount of the population of Filipina's in the country. A newcommer to this board might get the wrong idea, reading your post. I mean, you are THERE, so the newbie might read your post as gospel.

There is a large variety of girls in the Philippines. Theres girls who go to the big cities to work, provincial girls, girls that are OCW's,college girls, bargirls, stay at home and watch the millions of kids girls, rich girls, nurses, under educated girls etc., etc.. I could go on. Not all of them sit around dreaming of foreigners. They might meet and marry one anyway, but they don't spend their lives dreaming about it. Apparently just the girls you hang out with do. How do you meet all these girls? At the cafe's? I'm NOT suggesting your talking of Bargirls, because they have a job. So please don't think that's what I'm getting at.

In conclusion I have only three points to make.

First: Not every Filipina can get a job for a variety of reasons, and just because they don't have a job, doesn't mean they don't WANT a job.. Do you know that an applicant must possess a 2 year college degree to ask, "Do you want fries with that?" at McDonalds in the Philippines?  A man would be pretty stupid to rule out finding a gem amongst the unemployed. So maybe that isn't really good advice when it applies to Filipina's in-country.

Second: Not every Filipina dreams of marrying a foreigner, only the ones YOU meet apparently do. So please don't make it sound that way.   The best ones marry you because they like you.

Third: The word "expat" means expatriate. That means in this case, an American living outside the U.S. That would be YOU. So it doesn't matter if you live in "expensive ex-pat compound" (whatever that is) or amongst the Filipino's. Your still an expat. And if you have any money, as I'm sure you must, or you wouldn't be there, then it's hard to get REALLY "local" and know what the people truly think. Because most of them don't have your money, and will not always be totaly open with their feelings to you. It's a Filipino trait. The more broke you are while living there, like most locals, the more you see the real Philippines. The folk's are more likely to open up to you. I learned that by experience. It just works that way.

As I said, just making conversation, not trying to bust your balls.

Take Care,
Jay

[Jay]

... in response to Re: My motivation , posted by Jay on Jan 25, 2005

"A filipina with a job, is usualy someone who for a number of reasons, CAN'T get a job".

The line above should read,"A filipina WITHOUT a job, is usualy someone who for a number of reasons, CAN'T get a job".

sorry

j

[Stephen]

... in response to My motivation , posted by don2222 on Jan 25, 2005

I understand.  Makes sense to me.

Stephen

[Jeff S]

... in response to Find a woman with a job, posted by don2222 on Jan 22, 2005

Good Post Don.

Really, you see help wanted signs everywhere?

My daughter's boss is married to a Filipina, and she's about the laziest wife I've ever heard of - anti-social too -  not interested in meeting anyone or socializing. She's totally different than any of the ladies I've associated with and met in this forum (my only real exposure to the PI except for my father's WWII experience and some business contacts over the years) so I thought she must be the exception, not the rule. But maybe I was mistaken. Sure I know there are good and bad everywhere. It's just that you mostly hear sugar coated things here.

- Jeff

[Jay]

... in response to Re: Find a woman with a job, posted by Jeff S on Jan 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by Jay]

Hi Jeff,

I wouldn't put too much stock in what Don says. He's lived there 2 years and although no offense meant to Don, he obviously still hasn't a clue about Filipino's and thier culture. It's obvious from his post. He's been living there 2 years, and he believes he's an expert on it. Most ex-Pat's are like that.

Just for the record, a lazy Filipina IS the exception to the rule. Who knows where Don is "constantly" meeting these 20-something  girls. As for being Anti-social, well my wife is somewhat anti-social. She doesn't like  being around other people all that much. Hell, she doesn't even like going out to dinner with people. I always joke wih her that I can't take her anywhere. :-) She would rather be with me at home than with anyone else, anywhere else. That's a personality trait that has nothing to do with national origin.

And lastly, I don't think I've ever seen anyone really sugarcoat things on this forum. We pretty much tell it like it is. Sorry if it sounds to good to be true, but it is true. ;-)

Not trying to be an assh0le to anyone, just thought I would put in my thoughts. Take it for what it's worth.

Take Care,
Jay
P.S.- C. got off the plane on a Thursday and was at work on the following Monday. She hasn't stopped since. She's very low Maintenance, and frugal. She "keeps the books" in our house. I would guess, (since I'm no expert on Filipina's either) ;-), that most independent Filipina's who come from a backround of poverty, are that way.

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Find a woman with a job, posted by Jeff S on Jan 23, 2005

I think you could get a lady who could go either way.

I mean, Tess lived in Manila for 20 years after graduation and made her own way.  She's very frugal will money.  She is really tight with a dollar.  Doesn't like to use credit cards at all.  In fact, she won't use a credit card unless it will be paid off in full at the end of the month.

But I can see you getting a lady who's never had a credit card before, and she gets here to the USA and she goes nuts and spends money hand-over-fist.

Perhaps I just lucked out.

Stephen

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Re: Find a woman with a job, posted by Stephen on Jan 24, 2005

I don't think it was luck, Stephen, more like smarts. You got the whole package - looks, personality, and character. Of course she did pretty well, too. You guys are a great match.

- Jeff

[Keith NC]

... in response to Find a woman with a job, posted by don2222 on Jan 22, 2005

Stephen is right excellent advice.  When I first started this process over a year ago there were alot of ladies online during the day.  I would ask them if they had a job and they told me that Philippine economy is too bad.  Then I asked if they were in school and they told me that they couldn't afford to go.  But I agree if they are not in school then they should be working somewhere.  When I was in Davao City I saw a lot of help wanted signs.

Work was like a four letter word to my ex wife. A few months before my ex came over here on a fiancee visa she sent me a letter stating that all her co workers were picking on her and that she wanted to quit work and if I would help her.  I met her co workers and they were extremely nice but I took my ex's word for it because she was my fiancee.  Little did I know that was a huge red flag that I ignored completely.  Even though she was a nurse in the Philippines when she got here all she ended up doing was eating and sleeping all the time.  Then when she made some Filipina friends all she did was go shopping and spend money we didn't have.  Even though she was home most days I would still come home after a long day at work and have to cook and wash clothes and clean up the house.  

Don is right find a lady that has ambition and is not lazy.

Keith

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Find a woman with a job, posted by Keith NC on Jan 23, 2005

Tess worked until 2 days prior to coming to the USA.  She left Manila on a Monday morning and had worked on the previous Saturday.

Stephen