tax filing status for co-sponsor

[Luther]

I might file my visa app with co-sponsors just to (hopefully) ensure that it goes through the first time.

One potential co-sponsor is a recent widow and she wants to know if "her" income from the previous year is the same as "their" income, since they always filed joint IRS returns, and she really had "no" income of her very own. But her late husband's past years' income and the assets she has been left with are more than adequate.

I assume that her current assets will hold more weight than the former income of her late husband.

[don2222]

... in response to tax filing status for co-sponsor, posted by Luther on Sep 28, 2004

Hi Luther,
 I really hope I am not out of line here, and you really do seem like a nice and sincere guy.  But, why the rush ?
My understanding is that you have not even met her yet, and that you have never  travelled abroad .
You might want to wait until you have actually met her in person before you become so serious about everything.
Also, if your penpal is truly sincere, she will wait for you, a good woman would understand that the process takes a long time.  
The Philippines and Filipinos can be very different from America.  The culture and beliefs can be very different from ours.
Time is your friend.  I strongly recommend that you visit her in person first, learn as much about her and her culture, and then make your decision from there.  

Best of luck,

Don

[gregas]

... in response to Luther , posted by don2222 on Sep 30, 2004

you mentioned that some of your ex wife's friends informed you about some of her negatives(red flags) while you both were lengthy together there in RP. I'm curious to since you were around countless available Filipinas friends, etc looking for a Foreigner husband, not one of those Pinays came forward to warn you that your Mahal was messing around with a Boyfriend while involved with you. You know, maybe you could've gotten hooked up with one of those available Pinays, if only one came forward with the warning. Thats kinda Puzzling..

[don2222]

... in response to Hey Don22222, posted by gregas on Oct 2, 2004

Hi Gregas,
 Only one of her  friends told me that my ex was immature and irresponsible.  That friend was busy trying to hook her Australian  bf, so she really did not pay much attention to me.
My ex's other friends were not attractive to me at all, and we really did not spend that much time with them.
The sister that talked to me lived in a different city, so she probably did not know what was going on.
Also, my ex could be very charming and likeable when she decided to be, she had many other people fooled also.

Anyway, during my time with my ex in the Phils I fell in love with the country and its people. After the divorce I sold everything and moved to the Phils.  I have never been happier.
So it all worked out for the best in the long run....

Don :0)

[NW Jim]

... in response to Luther , posted by don2222 on Sep 30, 2004

Don, I'm glad you raised these questions, because I have been wondering the same thing.

There is a reason that there are financial means tests for those bringing a spouse to the US--- so the rest of us don't wind up supporting them via welfare. The expenses associated with bringing a spouse to the US, getting them settled, employed, etc., will be higher than you expect.

Second, the instant family plan. Unless you plan on a 12 month honeymoon in PI, it is unlikely that your wife to be will become pregnant. It takes the average couple around 12 months to conceive. Women over forty have lower rates of conception, higher rates of spontaneous abortions and birth defects.

Luther, I'm sure you're a good guy with your heart in the right place, but I think you are rushing into something that could have devastating financial and emotional consequences. Don and Greg make a valid point--- take your time!

[Luther]

... in response to Luther , posted by don2222 on Sep 30, 2004

Yes, your advice is good.  Jovie pretty much told me the same thing a few minutes ago, take care of biz and plan on a good visit together, plan the wedding a little later.  I don't know how old you are, but I'm 48 and she's 42, so that's part of why I'm in a hurry...the other part is, it's my normal way of doing things, when a woman is in love with me I think in terms of grab fast before I lose the chance.  But we are trying to get to a practical level of planning based on my real financial ability etc.

[gregas]

... in response to Re: Luther , posted by Luther on Sep 30, 2004

I haven't followed your posts, but I want you to know that since she's 42..You shouldn't worry about some other Guy trying to Grab her(most Foreigners are interested in younger Ladies). I wouldn't recommend making Promises of having babies, marriage, blab blab etc without meeting in Person, and without spending time with Her. Everything isn't what it seem like in the Philippines. I'm starting over myself at age 50 with a 4 yr old Filipino child, what I have learned is to make no promises, don't rush, don't give her money unless you are involved in a meanful relationship.

[gregas]

... in response to Hi Luther, posted by gregas on Sep 30, 2004

I paid for gregory's mother to return to Hong Kong for employment on Sept 30th. Safer to take gregory to visit Her in HK than the Philippines.  Only cost me a little over $1000 dollars for her to join aboard employment agency. I've supported Her since 1999, thank God that October is my last month giving Her funds. (sigh)

[Keith NC]

... in response to Update, posted by gregas on Sep 30, 2004

Gregas,

I know that must have been a tough situation for you.  Thankfully it is almost over.  I share joint physical custody with me ex.  Our daughter is 2 1/2.  My ex was also a Filipina.  Her attorney asked the Judge if she could take our daughter to the Philippines for three weeks.  The Judge said no way is this little girl to leave North Carolina.  I personally don't think that my ex would come back from the Philippines if she ever went.  That is always a worry that I have.  

Keith

[gregas]

... in response to Re: Update, posted by Keith NC on Sep 30, 2004

I wanted very much to take our Son to see his Mommie, last time they saw each other was back in June 2001 when he was 7 month old. Our problem is that she is separated from Her husband, only way she can get here is to Annulment Her marriage. I can't get myself to send any Filipino Lawyer thousands of dollars to Annulment her marriage(don't trust those Lawyers). The lesson I've learned is to Run, don't Walk away from any Filipina that say she is Married or Separated, my plan was to get married by 2000, still unmarried becuz of my misfortunate. Yeah, I'm glad that after October she is no longer depending on me as a cash Cow. Whatsoever I did for Her was becuz I love our Son very much. I might visit the Philippines this December, I look forward to the challenge of finding a new Sweetie. :O)

[Ray]

... in response to tax filing status for co-sponsor, posted by Luther on Sep 28, 2004

Luther,

Assuming that you’re talking I-864, you can not file an affidavit for a joint sponsor “just to … ensure that it goes through the first time”. If your own current individual income exceeds the minimum requirement, you are not allowed to use a joint sponsor.

Just for the sake of discussion, if you do use a joint sponsor because your income does not meet the minimum requirements, the joint sponsor must qualify on his/her own merit. In the case you described, the widow would have to qualify on her own individual current income, preferably income from steady employment. For the total income of both spouses to be counted, one would have to file the I-864 and the other would need to file an accompanying I-864A. Since the spouse is no longer living, the widow would have to list her individual income from her most recent tax return using her own W-2 form as evidence of her individual income and the income of the departed spouse would not be counted. Since you stated that she had no income of her own, and assuming that she has no current employment income, then it sounds like a bad choice for a joint sponsor. If she had substantial cash assets, then it is ‘possible’ that she might qualify as a joint sponsor based on her assets alone, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Ray

[Luther]

... in response to Not allowed, posted by Ray on Sep 29, 2004

Just to be sure, I think I read somewhere that if my Immigrant visa is turned down, (1) I won't be able to turn around and file a K-3, and (2) in 2 years I will be able to try again.  Right?

Ray, you're a veteran, isn't it considered honorable among men who are separated from their wives to go ahead and give them the babies they want, and get reunited with the family when it becomes possible?

Not the best way to start a family, but not dishonorable, right?

What do you guys think?  I know what nephew Howard thinks!  It is not always in my nature to know what I think...

It is Jovie's wish to start the family as soon as possible.  As long as I can support them from here I see no problem (except for missing each other, missing out on some of that initial bonding with my kids...)

Has anybody had to deal with this situation or one like it?

Luther

[Bear]

... in response to what if turned down/question for everybo..., posted by Luther on Sep 30, 2004

I understand the urgency both of you feel.  I can't say I'd feel much different if I were in either of your shoes.  But I agree with Don2222, NW Jim and I suspect others in saying your moving way too fast.  My first marriage occurred "way too fast" followed by near 25 years of long, slow suffering for it.  I've seen several guys here think that they made good choices (who BTW took much more time than you in finding a mate without near the starting out problems) only to spend several years suffering and then divorcing and then starting all over again.  

I'm all for you dude, BUT... I say communicate.  If you got a question or concern, ask.  If you think that its wrong to tell your gf about "expectations" you have in marriage then you are lying to yourself and not communicating the bricks that will build a wall to failure.  If your don't know before you marry what her concerns and expectations are and how she'll react to those imminent hard times the hurt will be more than anything you can imagine.  Discuss all issues.  Now!  The easy part will be figthing the governement for immigrations rights or missing your family because they are in another country.  The hard part will be finding out that you can't stand something she does, believes or wants or know that she feels horrible thing(s) about you or even worse - never intended to.  

Don's technique was awesome - I was jealous of his courage in finding a mate.  I thought it was foolproof.  Just to watch that 89 lb filpina kick his ass because she lied to him from the start.  Howard wrote some of the most awesome discriptive loving words trying to communicate how he felt about his spouse just to have his spouse hide from him so he couldn't communicate - couldn't/wouldn't work it out - cause she wasn't the one who wrote him from the beginning.  I was shocked at the many others who can tell you unbelievable stories that just were not expected.  This is more difficult than anything a rocket scientist does.  There is nothing exact about it other than it hurts like hell when you fail.

Besides the fact that you are going to have some serious separation issues from both your wife and child, and of course the governement issues due to earnnings (money is always a family destroyer) you might have serious health concerns to deal with because women over 40 having children is a big concern for both her and the baby.  This is on top of the normal problems that occur on a daily basis added in with the oddities of two very different, yet very similar cultures trying to make one household.  That sure is a lot to talk about.

Do us proud dude and slow down, give yourself some options and make it work the right way.

[don2222]

... in response to This might not be taken well...., posted by Bear on Oct 1, 2004

[This message has been edited by don2222]

What I did was I spent about 8 months in the Phils trying to spend time with my now ex-wife and make sure she was the right one for me before I brought her to America.  I even went with her to the physical and the interview at the embassy in Manila.   At that time I was 37, and had never been married, so I really tried my best to choose the right women for me, and I spent all my money, and as much of my time in the Phils as possible to try to get to know her. By the time we arrived in America I was flat broke, and had to borrow money from my mother, and borrow my grandmothers car. The first 6 months in America were good, but then I endured about one year of a living hell with her in America before I asked for a divorce.
It was only after bringing her to America did the many  lies start to reveal themselves.  Some information  that Bear helped to reveal was that she still had a boyfriend in the Phils that she apparently planned to bring to America   after using me to get her citizenship. After I asked her for a divorce, she then contacted all my friends, family members, business contacts and associates, and even my customers, and started spreading lies and half-truths about me. During all of this I tried to take the high road, and say nothing about her or the relationship. But that backfired on me in that many people took her side of the story and I lost a few friends due to them believing everything she said and not understanding why I was not happy with her.
I still blame myself in that I ignored a few red flags and I chose the wrong woman. Also, at the time we married I still did not know as much about her and her culture as I should have.  We did have many arguements due to my not understanding her country and culture.   But, past is past, and that is basically what happened  to me.

Don

[Jay]

... in response to My "technique", posted by don2222 on Oct 1, 2004

Hi Don,

Sorry if I forget all the story.I'm curious, just how did Bear know she had a boyfriend?

Take Care,
Jay