Telephone calls - so soon?

[Craigjjs]

I have received a large number of e-mails from women from the Phillipines responding to my profiles on two websites.  Many of the women give me their phone numbers and ask me to call them after only one or two messages.  I do not wish to spend my time and money on the phone with women I do not know, so I politely decline.

My question is whether this is a red flag for some of the less sincere or perhaps more money-driven ladies?  

Thank you,

Craig

[Craigjjs]

... in response to Telephone calls -  so soon?, posted by Craigjjs on Aug 26, 2004

Thanks to everyone.  I will definitely be making those calls.  I was just a little surprised to receive numbers so quickly.  Since e-mailing is so easy for us, I forgot that a phone call is probably easier for a woman who has to use an Internet cafe for e-mail.  Duh!  I am aware of the energy and resources this experience require and I am fully prepared to invest them.  I'm just starting to learn the ropes.

Thanks again, this is a great forum.

Craig

[gregas]

... in response to Telephone calls -  so soon?, posted by Craigjjs on Aug 26, 2004

which Filipina websites did you use? greg

[andrew99]

... in response to Telephone calls -  so soon?, posted by Craigjjs on Aug 26, 2004

All I will tell you is that mail to and from the Philippines is pretty slow...five or six week round trip seems like the norm to places off the beaten path.  Hong Kong maybe two to three week round trip.  Who wants to wait for many weeks or months getting to know somebody?  Get to work and call any girl that interests you and might be sincere.  If money is so tight and you can't afford a 20c/minute phone call, then I don't think you're financially ready for this.

Looking back, I felt the same thing, felt like girls giving out phone numbers right away were suspect because of perceptions of how their culture is supposed to be.  But now when I think about it, I don't want to wait for weeks or months to find out whether I'm dealing with a scammer or incompatible girl.  But beware, I think there're a lot of scammers.

[Ray]

... in response to Telephone calls -  so soon?, posted by Craigjjs on Aug 26, 2004

Hi Craig, welcome to the forum.

If you won’t spend your time and money on the phone with women you don’t know, then how do ever expect to get to know them? From what you have posted, I don’t see any kind of red flags. If they weren’t sincere, then why would they give you their phone number? Has someone asked you for money? The ladies don’t make any money if you call them, only the phone companies do. This sounds perfectly normal to me.

What was your intent in posting your profile on those websites? Are you seriously looking for a potential mate, or just passing the time? If you are looking for a serious relationship with a Filipina lady, then I should warn you that this isn’t for everyone. It will be very expensive and it may take a long time. You will need a tremendous amount of patience and you will go through many disappointments and frustrations along the way. But if you are willing to pay the price in time and money, the rewards can be enormous.

Writing letters is nice but there will be a long delay before you get a response. The Internet is a wonderful means of communication, but don’t expect the ladies to have ready access to a computer all the time like we do here. The majority of them have to rent computer time at an Internet café and it can become a large expense for them. Talking on the phone should play a big part in a long distance relationship and an introductory phone call should be expected early in the relationship. It’s the ones who refuse to make phone contact that you should watch out for as possible scammers.

What are you afraid of? Pick up the phone and give them a call. Thirty minutes on the phone will give you both a good idea if it is worth pursuing further correspondence, and it shouldn’t cost you more than 5 bucks with most prepaid calling cards. Nothing ventured, nothing gained… :-)

Ray

[Keith NC]

... in response to Telephone calls -  so soon?, posted by Craigjjs on Aug 26, 2004

I agree with Nox.  Don't worry unless they ask you for money, till then enjoy the attention.  Not everyday you get a bunch of beautiful ladies competing for you.  You can get a cheap phone card to call the ladies.  I am sure there are some guys on the board that will let you  know the ones they use.

Keith

[NOX1967]

... in response to Telephone calls -  so soon?, posted by Craigjjs on Aug 26, 2004

It was my personal experience that what you describe is not at all uncommon. There is quite a competition for men on some of the websites. I wouldn't worry about until they actually ask for money!