thanks Ray

[Luther]

I will be studying your advice in depth and taking you up on your suggestions.  Getting Jovie into my arms has become my only hobby...except for studying Tagalog, listening to tapes of our phone conversations, reading websites on Filipinas...worrying a lot...but that's just me.  I am very grateful for the advice of all you guys.

[Bear]

... in response to thanks Ray, posted by Luther on Sep 11, 2004

but i'll stick my $.02 in anyway.

You sound vey intelligent and a noticeable skill with words much in the way that Howard used to impress everyone.  And you seem to be in love but can't meet minimum government requirements for income.  No matter how you put it its goiong to be a while.  Fiancee K-1 visa or married K-3 visa.

I've not seen any posts that indicated "why" you couldn't meet miimium income requirements for the last three years?  Were you were un-employed for medical, education, military, etc. type reasons or because of the Clinton economy?  

I suggest a simple effort.  Write your all congressmen and senators; explain your situation and request suggestions.  Make sure you indicate that irreguardless you will marry.

I honestly think that should you marry in the R.P. (as I did) and request her on a K-3 visa; they will not prevent you from bringing her her - she would be your wife at that point.  This actually would give you time to prove your statement that you expect your income to rise.

Those papers are really not that hard to fill out and with the help of guys like Ray you couls save the moneys you'd pay an attorney.

I took $4K with me the 1st time and had a wonderful wedding on $1800 of it.  Ended up taking $300 home and leaving $300 with Honey.  I spared no expense and did everything I or Honey wanted to do so I'd say don't let moneys worry you.  After airfare I think 100 would be a great trip.  If you get married double that - and a minimum 3 week stay.

You've choosen a hard road but you'll get there just expect a long separation and/or additional trips.

The Bear Family

[Luther]

... in response to I guess I got back too late...., posted by Bear on Sep 12, 2004

Jovie is not interested in doing the K-3, but if the K-1 is rejected we will probably wish we had gotten married and started the K-3 process instead.  If there is a rejection I will simply have to make more trips to the Phils to reassure my sweetheart that we are for real in love forever, she is asawa ko sa buhay ko, and maybe if the rejection happens we will get married on my second trip to the Phils.  So far she hasn't wanted to talk about K-3, I think because she thinks it would take longer.  I have a hard time arguing against her advice that I should have a positive attitude, which is her response when I try to bring up possible rejections, with K-3 and a little longer wait as the wiser option to start with...?  It's hard to know.

In a perfect world there would be one option: you get married to whoever you want, she moves in with you.  Done deal.  Don't get me started on what govt intrusion means to me.

I saw hints of possible waivers on the Manila Embassy website, maybe there's something to that.

I will try to do more studying and planning and less worrying, that would be the best thing.  And to go over the govt publications/websites with a yellow highliter, and from there compile a do list in my own words so I can never look at those govt writings again, but just keep busy knocking practical matters off a list that I own as my own business.  I am very intimidated by govt requirements, I will try to focus on the one thing at a time that I can contend with.

[Bear]

... in response to long separation and/or additional trips;..., posted by Luther on Sep 13, 2004

but if you stand a better chance of being refused with the K-1 due to income questions then the K-3 is at least twice as fast? Right?

Extra incentives.  Save money on a mulitude of things such as airfare for visits and phone calls.  Cheaper wedding & she gets to marry in front of family and friends (you mentioned that family and friends are not being supportive so why do it here in front of them?).  Added with faster processing sounds like a much better deal to me.

BTW, Ignore family and friends - most will be more than supportive once its happened (if you made the right decision - if you didn't then be prepared to hear "I told you so" alot).  They really don't matter in this instance and will pull you down emotionally.

Don't let anyone tell you that the K-3 is slower/faster.  I have a friends right now who is doing a K-1 and its in the 3rd year without any of the problems you mentioned for your situation.  MOF, he seems to be an ideal canidate for fast approval.  Look how long Howard's took.  I think they are both (K-3& K-1) about equal right now.  Just which path is more likely to succeed the fastest with the least amount of stress and separation.

You said she hasn't been willing to discuss the K-3 because the K-1 is faster?  Hmmmm?  Is that a red flag?

The Bear Family

[Luther]

... in response to Just a thought..., posted by Bear on Sep 13, 2004

Thanks Bear, and I agree with you, that is my whole Point: if the K-1 is turned down or slowed down, we may wish we'd chosen the K-3.  I just don't know if there are any important advantages to the K-3; the main one I imagine it having is that a financial sponsor could be used if necessary.  IF THAT'S EVEN TRUE.  I'm not worried about the evidence, anyone with half a brain will see we're up to our necks in a devoted love relationship, if they glance at our correspondence.  I'll keep re-reading the info I have and looking for more, trying to wade through the details to see the crux of the matter, the key points that my decision should hinge on.

Jovie really wants to "walk down the aisle in front of her own family," (her words), but at nearly 42 years old and after 2 years on Cherry Blossoms (and who knows how many near misses with pen pals there?--none of my business), she is interested in anything that will speed up the process of getting what she really wants most: "instant baby!"  While we still can!  I don't think it's a red flag that she's in a hurry, but if she was 21 years old I would think so.

However, I do not at this time have the impression that K-1 is going to speed things up.  I am going to try harder to get her into a dialog about the options...she just saw the K-1 work for her niece Gerlie, but VERY SLOWLY!  And last night she started looking at my comments on this site, and has sent her blessings for the concerns I have, so I anticipate that we will at least get the issue talked about--hopefully soon.

[Ray]

... in response to K1 vs K3, posted by Luther on Sep 13, 2004

Luther,

Unfortunately, both the K-1 & K-3 visas use identical financial documents (I-134) and qualification criteria so there is virtually no advantage of using a K-3 over a K-1 in that regard. In recent months, Manila has been rejecting a lot of I-134 co-sponsors entirely and relying almost exclusively on the petitioner’s income alone. Also, the K-3 petition processing has been severely backlogged since early this year and the k-1 is beating the K-3 in almost every case as of now.

The good news is that the I-130 processing has been extremely fast in recent months with the California Service Center approving many I-130’s in as little as 2-3 months. That means that you can probably get married over there and get her a CR-1 in maybe 9-12 months and faster than the K-3, which was originally created to help compensate for lengthy processing times for the I-130’s. There are significant advantages to coming in on an immigrant IR-1/CR-1 visa and the financial requirements may be somewhat easier for your particular case if you can meet the I-864 standards. Also, you are allowed by law to use a joint sponsor with the I-864.

Ray

[Luther]

... in response to Re: K1 vs K3, posted by Ray on Sep 13, 2004

Thanks, Ray, you made my day!!!

[Luther]

... in response to I guess I got back too late...., posted by Bear on Sep 12, 2004

Bear, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and validation.

It would be best if I did not start trying to explain in any detail here on this public forum why my income of the past few years has fallen short, why I am on disability, why I am learning a new career, why I am sending off for two divorce decrees, why I am not interested in American women anymore...let my tone of voice speak for itself and the details remain private for now, I've already written a 600 page comedy about my life and it belongs on the shelf tied up with a pretty ribbon...as Jovie says, the past is the past.

I vibe with you strongly in your other post in which you state that your new life is going to disprove Murphy's Law instead of affirming Murphy's Law.  For things to go wrong is normal, but to keep trying to GRAB THAT GUSTO is also normal, and is required of anyone who expects to live a better life than they have lived in the past.  What is most frustrating to me is the lack of encouragement from my American family and friends who, once they put you in a box, with a label, then they are gonna damn well keep you there.  I regret asking for their blessing...should have known better.  I get way better treatment from you guys, strangers who seem happy to know me, than I do from people who have failed to know me through my whole life!

I'm raving again.

One of the reasons I chose Jovie is for her strength and self-confidence, her positive attitude, her ability to express herself.  Her intensity level is up there with mine; I think she can handle me.  I crave stability and cling to it when I can find it, and when not threatened with implied rejection (such as govt income requirements), I am an optimist.  But Jovie's stability and optimism outshine mine somewhat...it's ok, we are in love, we intend to be in love our whole lives, and we intend to surmount all the hurdles including this visa process.

[Ray]

... in response to thanks Ray, posted by Luther on Sep 11, 2004

[This message has been edited by Ray]

Have you ever been to the Philippines or Hong Kong?

Do you have any intention of meeting Jovie's family before you marry?

If you want to get a good perspective on the Filipino culture, I recommend "Culture Shock! Philippines" by Roces as a good starting point. Amazon.com carries it...

Ray

[Luther]

... in response to Re: Questions, posted by Ray on Sep 11, 2004

I've never been outside of this country except twice to Tijuana.

However since I have never fit in here in United Statesia I have spent my whole life in culture shock.

I have already ordered the Culture Shock book you mentioned and it should arrive in a few days.  I have several books on Tagalog, tapes, etc.  I am very proficient at languages, though I write better than I talk.  I can webcam chat for 2 or 3 hours easy, typing, but on the phone I freeze up some (and that's trying to speak English...)  I am no great fan of the way we do things here and expect culture shock upon arrival in Mindanao to be less shocking than it might be to someone younger (I'm 48) or less experienced with diversity (don't get me started.)

I will soon be visiting Jovie in the Philippines, and have already committed to a month long visit with her at her family's farm outside Panabo City (January or Feb).  We have talked quite a bit about how we will spend that time--she's taking a month off work to be with me.  Obviously we won't be running around spending money, we were attracted to each other partly because we are not materialistic, partly because we want to spread love across the land by way of raising a family.  I am a cross between a conservative liberal and an old hippie, she's just a straightforward happy-serious ultra responsible 41 year old, had the same job for 13 years, soon to be Mama if we can get what we want out of the immigration disservice.

Those who think it's easy to get people into this country and put them on welfare obviously are just quoting the party line...so far it truly appears there's nothing easy about bringing someone into the USA.  I will not give up though.  And welfare is not my gig.