Need a bit of advice

[papi]

... in response to appears to be legit, posted by Scott on Jul 26, 2004

dont send money until she is officially your girlfriend!! i've seen so many guys get burned this way. dont be stupid man!

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to appears to be legit, posted by Scott on Jul 26, 2004

Scott

I am glad to hear that you have a little more clarity on the situation now.  If you do have serious feelings for Luci  I am sure that these last 3 - 4 days  have been very tough on you. Now it is soul searching time for you to figure out where you want to go from here.  General rule of thumb  FOLLOW YOUR HEART and GUT INSTINCT.  This seems to usually be the right choice. Don't 2nd  3rd and 4th guess your decision or it will drive you crazy.

GOOD LUCK

Windy

[dyesebel]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

hi scott!

this is totally a SCAM!!! why didn't grace tell you firsthand the hospital and its telephone number where luci is in?!?!?! what kind of accident?  you don't have to ask them this information if this was really urgent and true. if she worked in japan - then she should have the money! what was her work in japan? you would know the answer then.

or why don't you call grace's cellphone and talk to luci's parents? but the parents must also be in the fix. there are many loose ends --- things do not fit!

be careful, my friend!

[Humabdos]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

run Timmy run!
Hum

[Keith NC]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Scott,

I know that it can be hard to part from someone that you feel like you have a connection with and spent time with.  In my opinion I think it is a scam.  There are alot of beautiful ladies over there that will not ask you for a dime.  

Keith

[Ray]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Well, Scott, I’m not really sure what advice you are looking for. Should you help this lady financially? That’s really up to you since I think you have absolutely no moral obligation to do so.

Do you want our opinions on whether this is a scam? From what you have posted so far, I would guess that the odds are about 90% that this is nothing more than an outright scam. These type scams almost always involve someone in the hospital in dire need of money to pay for their care.

IF you do decide to help out, don’t make any promises and just remember that you should NEVER send money to a stranger. You were exactly right to ask for the name of the hospital and her doctor. If you get a reply with the info you requested, then you should independently verify the phone number of the doctor and hospital. Speak directly with the doctor and ONLY send money directly to the hospital. Request any itemized bills along with a copy of her medical file be sent to you by FAX and DO NOT use her “friend” as a go-between. I would advise that you wait a while before doing anything and definitely verify all information. If you do want to pay the hospital bills, do it anonymously and keep it that way!

The medical system over there can be pretty cold when it comes to paying in advance for expensive care. They may require advance payment for major surgery, but then again they may just require payment in full before she is discharged.

Personally, I would probably lean toward a reply with an offer to pray for her, but say that I was not able to help financially.

Ray

[senior citizen]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

First, she must have returned to the Philippines for this to be true. Else how would her "friends" get ahold of her mail? And if she had, it would be her relatives, not her "friends" contacting you, especially "friends" still in Japan. If she is still in Japan, working for a Japanese family, her "friends" would not have access to her mail and things. Her employer is responsible for her. Believe me, ask any OCW, Japanese employers do not allow or encourage their "maids" to have their OCW friends over to visit at the employer's home.

See the trouble and contradictions?

As for someone else having her cell, perhaps they stole it. If you had called her at that number and she answered before, and now someone says they have had the phone and number for a long time and do not know her, it is probably stolen and you were speaking to the thieves or she sold it. Perhaps even her employer, after sending her back home or else she left for vacation back home, are trying to scam you.

Either way, this sounds very wrong.

You can always contact her "friends" and ask the name of the hospital and call yourself (get the number yourself, too). Or, if she is back in the Phils, contact her family if you know their addy or phone number, if any.

But it is most likely BS.

[papi]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Scott, i have to agree with the comments below. this is fishy. forget any photos and dump her. also, don't give money to any woman until they are your girlfriend - and a girlfriend is someone who gets intimate with you. good luck

[Humabdos]

... in response to Re: Need a bit of advice, posted by papi on Jul 25, 2004

Yea don't pay till she gives up the pun tang! Thats what the good old boys from AC say! (sic)
Hum

[Scott]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

[This message has been edited by Scott]

She's from Iligan, Mindanao, currently in Manila.  I spent about 6 weeks going out with her occaisionally then frequently in Okinawa.  Nothing sexual, but some affectionate times. Good friends and I am quite fond of her, enough to possiblysomehow persue the relationship further to see where it might lead, but currently no commitments.  Don't really know as much as I'd like to, and getting information has been a challenge (possibe red flag).  I have not been supporting her.  A problem I've always had is that I can be overly trusting until given a good reason not to, then I try to explain the problem away.  Chivalrous... yes.  But I know I can't save the world, seen too much of it (62 countries) and missery most can't imagine or comprehend.

I'm not sure how the PI medical system works... I know there's no social support system like we have, so if a patient can't afford the required medical care is the care denied or are the costs absorbed by the system?

One red flag has occured... I talked to her on her cell phone June 29.  A week ago someone else answered her number, didn't know who Luci was and claimed they had the phone and number a long time.

Too many open ended questions at the moment.

[Chris F]

... in response to A bit more info, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

You say you have not been supporting her...but earlier you posted that you  "periodically send her a 100 a month or two"

Sorry..but I would call that support...

[NOX1967]

... in response to A bit more info, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Scott,
     My fiance lives in Iligan, and she works in a hospital. If we could help you verify any information please feel free to e-mail me, NOX1967@hotmail.com

If you can get the name of a hospital, even if it isn't in Iligan, I'm sure she or one of her co-workers could make a call and inquire, from one hospital to another and get some information.

Ron

[Scott]

... in response to Re: Iligan, posted by NOX1967 on Jul 25, 2004

NOX, I will take you up on your offer.  Check your personal email.  Thanks

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Scott

Heres my take on this....

first the questions -- more information is needed from you for clarification.

1.) I am assuming Lucidel is pinay  since it is not a Japanese name?

2.) is she still in Japan?  is she working there or was she vacationing there also when you met her?

3.) if she is working there, is she legal?  --  Based on my trip there last year it was my impression that Japanese are protectionistic - - most pinays as well as westerners stand out from the crowd.  If she is legally working In japan  wouldn't she be requred to pay into the national health care system  and she would be treated?

4.) are you just the chivalrous white knight type ready and able to help anyone out  or  do you have  very strong feelings towards her (serious relationship -- marriage)  and she the same  towards  you?  HOW SERIOUS ABOUT HER  ARE YOU?

Now some thoughts?

1.)   From what you have written  it sounds like you have a very solid friendship  with her.  you  have  met in person so you have judged her charector to be worthy of continuing contact with her.  In your  correspondence and calls with her  she has not raised any other reasons to be suspicious prior to now.  As you've mentioned  she has told you about her Friend Grace  previously.  To me this seems reasonably honest and realistic - Accidents do happen.   Trust your gut and instincts - only you know her charector.

2.) Whether  she is in Japan or back in the Philippines I would assume that the medical duty of a doctor is still the same -- Preserve life.  I would think that no matter  what they will do their best to save her life irreguardless of medical bills payment. So if you are religious  I  think right now the best thing you can do is pray for her condition.  

I would consider sending the money to her once she is no longer comotose and is able to communicate  with you.  I have a hard time  believing they would turn off the machines prior to her  regaining consiousness due to a lack of funds.  Sending the money to her prior to her regaining consiousness  will not do anything to help her revive.

I think you have taken the right course of action so far  seeking the information you've requested.  I  really do not see the situation as being one of a scam. but waiting until she is able to communicate with you will be prudent.  As I mentioned before  as long as she is comotose and incoherant the benefits your financial assistance will provide is useless to you.  If this situation is real and God blesses you / her with a recovery  then you can address the medical  expenses.  you  also  will have to  address how serious  you are  about her.

Being religious  myself I think  your priorities belong somewhere else right now than worrying about money  if this situation is real and you truely care for her very serously.  The truth either way will come out  whether it is a scam or the truth about the accident when you speak to her and have  documentation of this accident.

I hope this advice helps

Windy

[Humabdos]

... in response to long response, posted by Windmill Boy on Jul 25, 2004

In the PI no money no treatment. People die everyday there because they can't afford even the simplest meds or treatment.
hum