Need a bit of advice

[Scott]

I need a bit of advice.  I met this young lady, Lucidel, in Japan 7 months ago.  She's one of the sweetest, most unpretencious and gorgeous women I've met in a long time.  Have kept in touch regularly via email, text messaging and occaisional phone call. Was planning multiple long visits while I'm in SE Asia this fall and winter on business. She's never asked for any help and never tells me about her problems.  However, I have periodically sent her $100 every month or two.  (I've been all over the world, PI many times, and fully understand the economic and cultural situation).  I've had trouble getting in touch with her recently.

I received this email today.  It is so out of character and discusses such an extreme situation I'm not sure I know what to think. I'm also aware that Luci did have a friend in Manila named Grace.

I have replied asking for Graces phone number as well as the hospital and Dr's name and number.  I have no idea what kind of $$$ are involved,  and really don't have deep pockets.  So I'm a bit mystified.

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dear Scott,
first of all, a pleasant day to you!

Scott ds is lucidel's friend. i wrote you to inform that lucidel is in critical condition right now. she had an accident last july 22, 2004. and she's in commatous. i know you won't believe me coz u don't know me. amd maybe you will think that im one of the opportunists.. But please...please....please.. believe me coz im telling the truth.. she's my friend and i dont want to lose her..and im sure you too..we got ur address from your letter for her..you said that you will help her when she needs help but how she cant contact you if she's in commatous,ryt?..so me and her other friends as well as her family are praying for her life..we're very much worried about her condition..the chance for her survival is 50-50. She really needs your help now especially in financial aspects. her family doesn't know where to get the very big amount of money for her medicine and operation. if you won't believe me we are willing to send you a picture of her condition just to prove that im telling the truth and im not kidding....

we tried to call you in your celphone but we don't know what is the area code in your country..writing you an email is only the best way to contact you..We hope that it will work.. Please....please help lucidel...she badly needs you at this point of time..

All we can do is to pray for her survival... she's a very nice person..she doesn't deserves this..

please reply as soon as you read this message.....and tell us what we will do to prove that our intention is good....as i've said we will send you a picture.. And please pray for her also....


thank you so much....may GOD BLESS YOU!!!


yours truly,
grace

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Your ideas and thoughts appreciated.

[Scott]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

The young lady, Luci, has been in the Cagayan de Oro Medical Center ICU since July 23.  I have spoken directly to the ICU nursing staff at the hospital.  She was admitted with a broken femur and multiple closed head injuries consisting of:  multiple subdural hematomas, skull fracture of the right temporal region, is in a stupor (a stage just before coma) and is exhibiting decorticate posturing (look it up) which indicates damage to the cortical-spinal tract where the brain and spinal cord come togather.  There has been improvement, she is opening her eyes and responding to touch.  The nursing staff doesn't know if she will survive or get better.  It's a very critical situation.  Medication costs are running 10,000p per day.  I hope to talk the the neurologist within the next couple of days and find out what the short and long-term out look is, if any.

Although I have no commitment or romantic involvement with Luci, we became good friends and I was interested in furthering the relasionship.  I am going to help financially, it's the RIGHT thing to do, but my funds are limited.  Good thing I'm working overtime this month and next.

I will send the money to the mother as the medication gets a 30% markup if purchased thru the Med Center.

[observer]

... in response to The latest... it's no scam, posted by Scott on Jul 29, 2004

Sorry to hear this lady is in really bad shape. Your right-she is in God's hands now.I'm not sure a donation now towards medical expenses would change much. Perhaps if the worst comes to pass you might help a little to make her funeral a little nicer and dignified.

You're right about another thing, Scott. Bad things do happen to good people everyday.Not everybody is a scammer.

[Ray]

... in response to The latest... it's no scam, posted by Scott on Jul 29, 2004

Hi Scott,

I’m sorry to hear about the young lady’s condition and I respect your decision to help out financially. I pray that she will be able to recover fully.

One concern I have is that I believe you mentioned a couple of times that you were interested in furthering the relationship with her. To be fair to both of you, I would not attempt to pursue a romantic relationship after you have assisted her financially, if that was what you meant. This could very well put her in a position where she would feel obligated to you because of your help. That is not a good basis for a relationship IMHO. Anyway, I am sure that is not your primary motive now and you will have time to worry about that later assuming that with God’s help she recovers.

As I stated before, I would highly recommend that you make any payments DIRECTLY to the hospital or doctor, NOT to any friends or family members. And if there is any way that you can do it entirely anonymously, that will be even better for everyone in the long run, especially if you two ever do decide to become romantically involved at a later date.

Ray

[Scott]

... in response to Re: The latest... it's no scam, posted by Ray on Jul 29, 2004

Ray, it's also been pointed out that helping in any way opens me to expected continued support (cultural).  And if I refuse, a guilt trip is laid down, "don't you care about her?  Then why won't you continue to help."  And if I help once, it will be expected to continue.  I may also be giving false hope to the family.  The few days of medication I provide will be insignificant in the long term, but indicated and interest I won't be able to persue.  And I can't and am not obligated to help with long term care.

I've spoken to a couple of ICU nurses here at home, including my ex, and have been unanimously told that with the decorticate posturing her survival not likely and if she does survive, the brain damage will leave her is some vegetative state.

So I am seriously giving thought and reconsidering the financial help.

Bad things happen to good people all over the world every day.  She's in Gods hans now.

[Scott]

... in response to Re: Re: The latest... it's no scam, posted by Scott on Jul 29, 2004

Automobile accident in Cagayan de Oro, Mindanao.  I don't know the details.

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Re: The latest... it's no scam, posted by Scott on Jul 29, 2004

SCOTT:

Bad things happen to good people all over the world every day. She's in Gods hans now.

STEPHEN:

And you're not God.  You're a very limited human being.  You can't solve all her problems by the snap of your fingers.

Do what you feel is best.  I respect your decision.  God bless.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Re: The latest... it's no scam, posted by Scott on Jul 29, 2004

I'm also sorry to hear of her condition. Like Don, I'm also curious how she ended up that way - accident or? I'm sure we've all heard of the japayuki problems.

Help only if YOU think it's the right thing to do, not because of pressure from her friends or family, and don't consider it some long term cultural obligation. A gift is a gift, nothing more, and should have no strings attached IMO.

- Jeff

[don2222]

... in response to Re: Re: The latest... it's no scam, posted by Scott on Jul 29, 2004

[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi Scott,
 Sorry to hear that she has been injured so severely.
What happened to her  How did she get this way ?
Under these circumstances, it seems really difficult to know the right thing to do.  Maybe you should just do what feels best for you.

Take care, Don

[andrew99]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Sounds like you've effectively told this woman that you're not good enough for her so you have to send her $100 a month.  Otherwise, you think she won't continue corresponding with you.  I think she can smell the emotional insecurity from an ocean away.

[andrew99]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

Sounds like you've effectively told this woman that you're not good enough for her so you have to send her $100 a month.  Otherwise, you think she won't continue corresponding with you.  I think she can smell the emotional insecurity from an ocean away.

[Scott]

... in response to Need a bit of advice, posted by Scott on Jul 25, 2004

It has been independently confirmed by NOX1967's fiance that this young lady, Luci, was admitted to Cagayan de Oro Medical Center.  I have a phone number and I have also emailed the friend for specific medical information.
Thanks for everyone's input. It has been appreciated.  Will post when I know more.

[shadow]

... in response to appears to be legit, posted by Scott on Jul 26, 2004

I live in Dumaguete, just a boat ride away from CDO. If I can be of assistance, just let me know. I can go there, check on the situation from a foriegners veiw, talk to the doctors, and make payment arrangements directly to the hospital if that is your wish.

Be careful, this has a fishy smell.

Larry.

[don2222]

... in response to appears to be legit, posted by Scott on Jul 26, 2004

Have you tried calling the hospital yourself ??
Now that you know where she is, you can make arrangements to pay the hospital directly, if that is what you want to do.

Don

[kented]

... in response to appears to be legit, posted by Scott on Jul 26, 2004

What exactly does that mean?? I have no idea why you wouldsend someone $100 per month to correspond with you but unless you went there yourself and saw her or hired a private investuigator, I'm not sure how you can be positive.