Glad you are all here!!

[totall67]

Well the adventure (hopefully a life time one) begins. I am 4 weeks into my search and sent my first letter off today. I see by my research that writing to multiple gals has a better chance of success. Maybe I am just old fashioned but I just can't bring myself to do that. Anyways this forum is great and thanks for being here.

totall67

Otherwise known as: totall_6_7

[shadow]

... in response to Glad you are all here!!, posted by totall67 on Apr 20, 2004

if you send off one letter every two months, you should be happily married to a wonderful woman by the year 2525.

Possibly you could step it up a bit? Or quit while your ahead?

Larry.

[andrew99]

... in response to Glad you are all here!!, posted by totall67 on Apr 20, 2004

Hi there,

I'm not part of a "success" story here but I would suggest you try to contact as many as you can.  One reoccurring theme I've read in various places is that there are a lot of scammers out there.  I've heard some of the scammers use penpals as an income-generating business.  Beware!

Also, from my experience it takes about a month or so for a letter to be sent to her and for her to get her reply back.  A long time waiting.  There's nothing worse than finding out two or three months later that you just don't match or she's a scammer.

Don't feel the need to be the perfect guy here.  Write as many as you can.  You have no obligation at this point.  If you find the right one for you, I'm sure she will understand that she wasn't the only one you ever wrote a letter to.  Don't let anybody take you on a guilt trip about "oh, I didn't know you have other penpals".  Of course, if you've been corresponding for a while and you've concluded she's probably legitimate and if she's suitable for you, then give her extra attention.  You can continue writing others if you want but the let others know that you like someone else best.

[Honey]

... in response to Glad you are all here!!, posted by totall67 on Apr 20, 2004

Well then I suggest that you become very discouraged at the length of time it will take to find the right partner.  You are not cheating on anyone unless you engaged or married and I'd bet most if not all of the gals you write are communicating with more than just you.  There have been numerous stories on PL and others where some guy posted his "fiancee' just married another of her penpals who happened to make there to meet her before he did.

I started out writing 13 ladies but stopped when I met my wife.  If I had had written just one then I might ever had met my her and still be looking.  When you date someone here you know pretty quickly when its wrong but a long distance relationship is not so clear.  Plus you add in that many will lie and tell you anything out of desparation of the life situation or encouragement from others.  

I am not saying all penpals are bad just that you are really reducing your odds of success.  You can improve them though with personal introductions but even that should be hedged with 3-5 PI's.

Bear Family