For Ray Emassy call?

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Not My Money..., posted by Dave H on Jan 28, 2004

$5,000 ?? Is this a loan proposal DaveH or a gift?  You guys are too generous.  

$5,000 would take 14 days to withdraw from the ATM LOL

At 20,000peso per day she would have to start withdrawing abut 3 weeks before she left. LOL

Imagine the fun she would have with Mama in Manila with 275,000peso.

They might forget about the visa altogether hahhahaaha.

Peter Lee who?

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Not My Money..., posted by Peter Lee on Jan 29, 2004

Hi Peter,

I heard that a new super mall opened near the US Embassy. ;o)))

Dave H.

[greg]

... in response to For Ray Emassy call?, posted by Peter Lee on Jan 27, 2004

$1000 is way too much. Going to cost you alot later on to get her here. You should send only what she may need, nothing more. Any extra hundreds you send is going to be spent on family, relatives and friends. Get Smart

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Don't send unreasonable amounts of $$$$$, posted by greg on Jan 27, 2004

11,200     14 day 800peso pention house close to St.Lukes
7,700    $10 per day 14 days food for 2
 6,600   $120 Plane for 2 $60 ea    
11,000   $200 fees medical pink receipt med exam
 2,000   Taxi Misc 100peso per day 20 days
 5,500   Visit Cebu get ready to go to Manila
11,000   Reserve money to stay in the ATM

55,000 =  $1000

How did you break your interview down Greg?

I am beginning to understand that family and friends are a hole where money goes.  Finally she can buy stuff she could never buy before.  I thought a little bit is ok as long as it is controled.  

I could put $300 in the ATM to start and deposit more when she is in Manila.  That way she will not carry a lot of money with her as she travels.  But I expect her to spend about $800 by the time she is done with the interview with her mama.  

I thought getting her here would be cheaper.  The going away party $100 and the one way plane ticket with no discount notice to the USA $1000.

Where did I go wrong?
Later Peter Lee

[greg]

... in response to Re: Don't send unreasonable amounts of $..., posted by Peter Lee on Jan 27, 2004

of $$$$$ (sigh). Sorry Pete, for my manners. Do whatever make you happy, she's your wife. If you want to send her $1000, $2000..Do it, your an adult. As for myself, I've learned to Ignore or say No to unreasonable requests for additional funds. Decided that I'm no longer a Cash Cow.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Just don't send Her lump amounts, posted by greg on Jan 28, 2004

Hi Greg,

I didn't see you as bad manners, by me asking these questions it opens me up to all kinds of things.  But this post did sound a bit condescending hahaha.  I tried to break down the cost to see if the amount was unreasonable.  I know if I was there with her in Manila I would not feel comfortable with any less than $1000 for the whole process.  My wife has no knowledge of what I am going to send her.  She has no idea of the cost and has not asked me to send her any money.   I was trying get your and other opinions on the what amount to send.   Talking to some now married Filipinas who have gone through the process and others I get the rough idea that $1000 bucks would cover it with about $200 to spar.  The main reason for asking the approximate amount was so no one in the family would be tempted to see me as a  cash cow.   But we know the fees are $200 to start,  then the air-fair for two and the pension house and food for about 10 to 14 days.  I was there in the Visayas driving around on my motorcycle for 2 months and it can get expensive away from home.  They have to eat out and get into taxies and probably need more photos and stuff.  After waiting months for the interview with all its paperwork it would be a shame to miss the interview appointment coz a test had to be repeated of no fault of her own.  I had some one tell me the story of just making the interview date coz the St. Lukes results held them up.   In this case I felt it would be a small price to pay for peace of mind and have them come a week or more early.  
But I did get your message loud and clear to not become a cash cow and to say no to unreasonable requests.  Last time she had to make a list of how the money I sent was being used.  I felt a bit of an attitude about it but she did it and will continue to do it.  
Later Greg

[greg]

... in response to Just don't send Her lump amounts, posted by greg on Jan 28, 2004

their hard earned dollars. A funny thing, I brought my Son's Mommie an expensive cell phone..She hasn't called to talk to our Son for over a year, out of the blue she said her cell phone was lost..so she asked me to buy her a new phone so she can talk to our Son. Do I believe that her phone was lost??? No...Will I send her money for a New phone? Yea, becuz I've no proof, do know that they make up all kinda sad sack stories to bleed us dry. Oh, my family member is sick, need you to send money ASAP, other Crap.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Guys are tricked into giving away, posted by greg on Jan 28, 2004

Hi Greg,

Sounds like you had your arm bitten off by a shark LOL.

My wife needed another cell phone coz the other one got wet.
After reading past posts it had red flags popping up in my head.   But our last conversation was garbled and almost un hearable.  She had just got off the ferry in a storm comming back from Cebu.  Weather reports confimed her story.  I sent her money for another cell phone whacha gunna do?  I did send money to help with her parents new house.  I did that coz now I feel I did my part and no stories they can come up with will make this cow give anymore milk.  
I have a good attitude towards the whole thing coz I don't mind if she goes to Manila and goes to the movies or buys something for her sisters of mama while she is there.  But as you said as long as it is not unreasonable.  I can see her feeling out just how much money I have to spar and what her boundary lines are.  I think that is natural and the younger the woman is the less secretive they are about what they are really thinking.  
So Greg lets not feed anymore sharks ok hehehe
Later Peter Lee

[greg]

... in response to Re: Guys are tricked into giving away, posted by Peter Lee on Jan 28, 2004

You should put a Hold on sending Her money for her family. You should wait until you take care of her business, until she is living with you in America before giving anymore help to her family. Let her get a Job in America, then she can send some of her own money to help her family. Right now, your money should be only to help her and nothing more.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Hey Son, Wait, posted by greg on Jan 28, 2004

You know Greg, I know you are right and that is what I should have done.  Against most advice I sent money anyway and to me it was "well I did my part" thing.  Now I can say no to any request with a clear concense.  In the back of my mind was, what if it is true that the highway is commming through and the house is comming down.  The new house is almost done now except for doors and the additional kitchen.  It went over budget as I expected and is not completly finished.  I was not asked for anymore money and I don't expect to be asked.  I spoke to the parents on the phone and they could hardly speak english but were very greatful.  My wife was in Cebu and we decided that she should live with her parents in Mindanao to save me money.  Was it premature to send money so soon?  Yes.
I had a few sleepless night over that one.
I also had sleepless nights thinking what if it is true and they will be borrowing against their farm at 20%.
I know my wifes' whole world has been her family.  So to help now was important to her.  I at first said no way and it was not mentioned again until I brought it up. So I had the choice of sending or not sending.  So far I have no regets about it.  
Yes when she gets here I was told she could apply for her Social Sec card right away and work is she wants send money home.  I have talked to her about it and a part time job would be good to start if that is what she wants to do.    
So Greg I will focus to help only her now as that makes sense.  The little help I gave the parents will make that easier.  But it looks like only a few months away and she will be here to give me headaches LOL
Later Peter Lee

[Bear]

... in response to For Ray Emassy call?, posted by Peter Lee on Jan 27, 2004

First, my Honey spend 2 months in Manila waiting for her Visa, they refused to give it to her there, she had to go back to Davao.  I will admit that my calling the embassy and complaining, and my contact with a local senator got her the visa papers faster.  But after I did it numerous others tried and failed.  Several I told to go to the "X" window at the Embassy and they got their Visas in Manila but Honey and I were refused.  Tricks don't always work.

Second I think if she had friends or needs a place to stay some here could help her.  Honey stayed at a boardinghouse with others who were awaiting Visas for about P500/week. I'd bet absolutely no more than $500 nescessary including room, board, airfare and fees;  I only gave Honey $200 and paid the airfare and fees.  RT airfare here another $800 but I wouldn't send it until after the interview, period!

Bear, Honey and Lil' Bear

[Ray]

... in response to For Ray Emassy call?, posted by Peter Lee on Jan 27, 2004

Peter,

I would wait 30 days after NVC approval and then call if she hasn’t heard anything yet. You can call weekly to check on the status after that, but it won’t speed them up at all.

She will need $100 for the visa fee and $95 for the medical. If you tell her to ride the motorcycle to Manila and sleep on the streets, another $100 should tide her over for gas and rice. Seriously, you will be sending more money for her plane ticket, luggage, clothes, shopping, and etc. soon anyway. I don’t think it would be unreasonable that she have a grand available in her ATM account so she’s covered for whatever comes up, especially if she needs a hotel room. Does she have relatives in Manila to stay with?

Nobody ever said this would be fast or cheap… :-)

Ray

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Embassy call?, posted by Ray on Jan 27, 2004

Nope no relatives in Manila and she is taking her Mama on the trip.  Using the ATM I can put in it any amount at anytime.  So she will always have what she needs as she goes.  But thanks I think about $1000 in the ATM should do it when the time comes.

[Dave H]

... in response to For Ray Emassy call?, posted by Peter Lee on Jan 27, 2004

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Peter,

It's been a few years since we went through this, but I would think easily half that amount. Maybe $500 if she goes by plane and stays at a nice hotel. I don't think we spent more than $300 in total (including St. Lukes) and her brother went with her. They went by ferry and were only in Manila 3 days.

Dave H.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to $1000?, posted by Dave H on Jan 27, 2004

ok DaveH

I was told to go at least a week in advance to St. Lukes in case there is a problem with any tests.   If they have to be done over you may not make it for the interview.  Fees for the pink receipt and the medical is about $200 alone.  There are unforseen photos and copies of this or that in the last minute.  They are a long way from home with no friends in Manila.  A pention house will be cheaper than a hotel but still about 800peso per day.  I hear that food is also expensive in Manila and two will have to eat for about 10 days.  The ferry takes 3 days and is not much saving coz they both have to eat for those 3 days.  So flying is probably cheaper but Mama may want to go with the ferry.  
I did not want them to do this on the fly.  My idea was for them to take their time and do it right.  I would not feel comfortable getting them there 3 days before the interview coz if anything unforseen happens I am not sure how long it would take to get another interview if you miss the appointed one.   Does any one know what happens if the interview is missed how long it takes to reschedule another?