For Shadow

[Tim]

I don't usually get very involved in the sensitive topics here anymore, but today I'm making an exception.

I was having a slow day and just spent over an hour reading all your archived posts at the Mag-anak forum. I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you with that woman. It is sad for me to realize that Wendy and Myrna both arrived here about the same time last year, but with vastly different outcomes for you and I.

I just wanted to say that I admire the way you survived the emotional and financial carnage. In spite of what you were experiencing you continued to contribute to that forum and provided advice and valuable immigration information to anyone who needed it (which I know is not an easy task). You also refrained from lashing out at all Filipinas in general. Your poise during this difficult time did not go unnoticed by me. Well done.

People will interpret your posts differently no matter how well you attempt to craft your words. Just give it your best shot, and say what you want.

Looking forward to your next reports,

Tim

[Cecil]

... in response to For Shadow, posted by Tim on Mar 28, 2001

I believe when you choose to give an account of your actions in a public forum such as this you must be prepared to accept opinions which may not be favorable.  From your introduction, you acknowledged that many would not like what you had to say.  As I read your trip report, I detect a common attitude for Americans that these girls had to "audition" for you and maybe you would be so considerate as to stay for a while.  I found myself asking the question who does this person think he is to treat these ladies in such a condescending manner.  In one of your posts, you explain that you only wanted a lady as a friend.  Do you normally interview(your words) a person to whom you are considering for friendship.  I am sorry but as I read your posts I kept thinking of the phrase "The Ugly American"

Cecil

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: For Shadow, posted by Cecil on Mar 28, 2001

Cecil,

If you have the time, go over to the old Mag-Anak forum. Go to archieve 31 and read Shadow's Oct. 2, 2000 post, "lessons." Then go foreward in time, reading the Shadow posts. You won't have to read very many Shadow posts, to see what kind of a man Larry is. A much better man than me...certainly.

Dave H.

[shadow]

... in response to Re: For Shadow, posted by Cecil on Mar 28, 2001

yes, I do want to know a little about a person, and whether or not that person can be expected to lie to me, before I would consider him/her a friend. Of course, in the case where this potential friend lives nearby and I have ample opportunity to observe their actions, I would probably not be so blunt in my pursuit of these answers. If this potential friend, no matter where he/she resides, displays to me that they cannot be trusted, I will probably not be so considerate as to stay for a while. And who am I? You ask. I am the one who has had his friendship betrayed so many times by obviously ladies just like this as to drive me to this point.    Larry.

[Dave H]

... in response to In a manner of speaking..., posted by shadow on Mar 28, 2001

Larry,

You are a good guy. It seems that you are trying too hard. Sometimes good things happen when you don't go looking for them. I know, it happened to me last July. Right after I decided to stop searching, take care of myself for once and let God take care of the rest. At times, I thought that my situation was hopeless (it probably was). I would tell myself to keep my faith, that God would bring a special person into my life...when he felt that I was ready. I tried not to doubt, but I usually did. It is not that I didn't think that God could do it. I didn't feel I was worthy of such a gift. I am still amazed!

Dave H.

[kevin]

... in response to In a manner of speaking..., posted by shadow on Mar 28, 2001

Take Shadow's plight, but reverse the gender roles.  If the roles were reversed, it might be considered swwetheart swindling.  The kind of sweetheart swindling, that when fruitful, and the poor woman ends up broken hearted, with ruined credit, and lost life-savings, the stories make it to 20/20, Dateline, etc.  The theme of the stories is about how the poor woman was victimized by a ruthless, selfish man, and that thanks to her private detective, his deeds were discovered before it was too late.  I want emphasize the private detective part, as almost being a prerequisite for declaring one's affections for protection sake, halped avert the ultimate misfortune/loss.

It's too bad that sweetheart swindling, in any way shape or form, is not universally condemned in a gender-neutral, race-neutral manner.  As far as I'm concerned, the Filipina golddigger should have about the same level of respect by the general public as the male villain at large who eventually goes to prison that is so often talked about in stories involving sweetheart swindling.  It's disgustingly unfortunate that in the Philippines, the art of sweetheart swindling is evidently an acceptable behavior by mainstream, "Christian", society.

To highlight a point, in Philippine society, the Kano male, is in subtle ways, treated less than human (on the surface he appears to be treated well), in much the same manner a Filipina in Japan is regarded as less than human by Japanese society when it comes to the delivery of justice.

Flattery and deception makes me sick!  Period!

- Kevin

[greg]

... in response to Re: In a manner of speaking..., posted by kevin on Mar 28, 2001

Hehehehehehehehe )))))

[humabdos]

... in response to Re: In a manner of speaking..., posted by kevin on Mar 28, 2001

nt

[Dave H]

... in response to For Shadow, posted by Tim on Mar 28, 2001

There is one thing that I always notice about Larry. He is always helping others, even when his own world is crumbling beneath his feet. If Larry says that this is the way things happened during his trip, I believe him. I don't think he was seeking to fail, in finding the right woman this trip. I am sure that he tried to give the ladies the benefit of doubt. There is no way that I could have been as objective.

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to Very True!, posted by Dave H on Mar 28, 2001

I know that Larry was not looking for a wife. I meant to say that I don't think that Larry was seeking to fail, in finding the right "type" (honest, trustworthy, faithful, a true friend) of woman. I know that Larry, like many others, would like to restore their faith in Filipinas as a whole. I hope that special Filipinas don't become as elusive as Philippine Monkey Eating Eagle. ;o) I appreciate my fiancee more and more each day. It seems that I got lucky. She is the exception, not the rule, as I once thought.

Good luck to all!!!

Dave H.

[Andrew777]

... in response to For Shadow, posted by Tim on Mar 28, 2001

Well stated Tim, like you, I feel that the whole truth, the good & the bad needs to be bought out & posted here. It will help all of us who need it. Nelson Rockefeller,
the ultra billionare, once said that it's smart to learn from your own mistakes BUT, brilliant to learn from the mistakes of others.

Andrew777

[shadow]

... in response to For Shadow, posted by Tim on Mar 28, 2001

[outwest]

... in response to Thanx, Tim, for your understanding!  N/T, posted by shadow on Mar 28, 2001

For all your recent posts, sorry for jumping on you
a few days ago, you are a pretty good guy in my book.

[shadow]

... in response to thanks shadow, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

I do try to remain open minded and objective, but it is rather hard to do at times.  All is forgiven.    Larry.