... in response to Shadow, how come???, posted by cc on Mar 29, 2001whether it be females with blue eyes and blond hair, Filipinas, or even members of the same sex. For us guys on the board, our physical attraction is towards Filipinas. What we're looking for is someone to connect with on a real heart-to-heart level. To be able to love without fear of being harmed.
When I realized that divorce was inevitable, I'd been reading books about the dynamics of relationships. For men that remarry and have problems, often times they were attracted to the same traits that attracted them to their first wives. On the surface, it could be looks or other attributes. Underneath it could be a bad mix of personalities.
Men would be attracted to women with the same color hair, eyes, height, etc. as their ex's. In some cases, even the same first name. In our cases, we're attracted to Filipinas and some of the positive attributes (however few there might actually be) of the culture.
Shadow was very wise to look beyond physical attraction and displays of kindness. It wasn't easy, and it took alot of courage. But it's survival. Deter the predators. A built-up immunity, or antibodies, against some lurking, deadly disease waiting to strike and kill a healthy victim.
I feel for you Shadow, and your story is very sobering. But I haven't given up hope and, in spite of all this, I don't think you have either.
I've often wondered, if men could choose their sexual orientations, if it would be safer to be a homosexual. One given is that there are plenty of more men then women. But probably more importantly, it so seems, that in general men can be trusted more than women. Trust is an important part of any intimate relationship.
When I was younger, I used to be told that one of the problems with homosexual relationships was that man never remained faithful. My step-mother's boss's son committed suicide for the reason that he could never find the man of his dreams. He was just so disenfranchised that everytime he'd love the man, the man would always end up cheating on him with some other guy. Finally he felt so hopeless he committed suicide.
Well speaking for us folks, we're trying to find Filipinas who WILL LOVE us for WHO WE ARE. And that is indeed a very challenging persuit, and the odds of actually finding that are stacked against us. The odds of getting hurt are too great but we all hope to find the right one.
Like the story I told about why the homosexual committed suicide, Larry's testimony makes it easy for one (in mainstream society, in a "conventional" heterosexual relationship) preach about why it's so bad and downright dangerous for a man to persue heis desire and drive to share a loving relationship with a Filipina.
- Kevin