Internet dating is OK!

[don2222]

... in response to Re: Re: Resident status easy to get?, posted by shadow on Jan 18, 2004

[This message has been edited by don2222]

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[Humabdos]

... in response to Internet dating is OK!, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

What a load of crap dude! I'll bet no American women would even give you the time of day. I suspect your mother ran off and left you when you where a child or something like that. Lets face it a large % of men go over seas to find a woman because no american women in there right mind would have anything to do with them! lol

Hum

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Internet dating is OK!, posted by Humabdos on Jan 17, 2004

Good thing your holding back Hum hehehehe!!!
I did see some ugly dudes in Cebu looking for a wife hehehe.  But not all were that bad looking either, when I talked to em they all had an AW in the past.  I think what they were looking for and couldn't explain was the Philippines is still locked into the 60's.  The music the customs and culture is what we had in the late 60's.   So when the old guys go there it reminds them of a past and memories that was good.  Then to top it off younger women fight for em.  What a formula, I asked the men there how come your'not angry we take away all your women?   They said we only take the ugly ones LOL.  I noticed the men there have different tast of women that we do.

Even at 60 I have a good chance at some of the younger women in my Cardio Kickbox class.  I'm getting em nice and shaped up for someone.  Can't guarantee much of a trade in for your old car but if he gets tired of driving the same old car you can consider a trade in without going 9000 miles LOL.

So tell us Johann?  Would an American woman give you the time of day or not?

[Johann]

... in response to Re: Re: Internet dating is OK!, posted by Peter Lee on Jan 17, 2004

Hi,
Your question:
Would an American woman give you the time of day or not?

My reply:
Why should I ask an American woman to give me the time of day?
Any reason to do so?
Or
Do you mean, she will come straight to me by herself, giving me the time of the day, because she wants to surprise me?

You should know about me:
1- I am not an US-citizen,
2- I am not living in the USA,
3- As I am not an US-citizen and as I am not living in the USA, there is no need for me to travel outside of the USA to look for a foreign wife and also no need to enter the USA to look for an American woman.
4- No need to go 9000 miles.... I am living in Japan and own my condominium in Thailand.
5- I never had an AW (American woman?) - see above explications 1,2 and 3.
6- I have already my AW (Asian wife)
7- Neither my wife nor I have any intention to move into the USA for a living.

You wrote:
I asked the men there how come your'not angry we take away all your women? They said we only take the ugly ones LOL. I noticed the men there have different tast of women that we do.

Reply:
Yes, this is true - you can read up the reasons for that on my homepage.

Your question:
we take away ALL your women?

Reply:
Do you know, how many people are living in Asia???

Compared to the population in the USA (about 280 million) there is alone China (1247 million).... no need to be worried, there are still plenty of women leftover here in Asia for everybody.

How many women are entering the USA from Asia for the reason of marriage? Do you have any information about that?
I think, all in all, not so many.... Even if EVERY man from the USA takes a Chinese girl as his wife, there will be still plenty girls remain in China....

I did not consider the rest of Asia....there are almost 80 million living in the Philippines, over 200 million living in Indonesia, over 70 million living in Vietnam......the list continues....Korea, Japan, Thailand, Burma, India ......

Even if you convert USA into a Muslim country and everyone out of you takes 4 wives.... still there will be Asian women in Asia...

Take it easy, no need to worry!
Johann

[Johann]

... in response to Re: Internet dating is OK!, posted by Humabdos on Jan 17, 2004

Hi,
1- I am not an US-citizen,
2- I am not living in the USA,
3- As I am not an US-citizen and as I am not living in the USA, there is no need for me to travel outside of the USA to look for a foreign wife and also no need to enter the USA to look for an American woman.

4- Who are you? Reading your stupid posting, I think, you are one out of these feminists, who are a desprate leftover everywhere in the States.
No wonder, that many US-men prefer to marry a foreign wife.

Johann

[Humabdos]

... in response to I am not from the USA! , posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

OK Arnold so you don't live in the USA! please stop repeating yourself! lol
Boy are you Germans touchy!
Aso so who am I. Well first of all I'm no feminists I'm a man who is married to a Filipina. Second you are the stranger who marched in here like Hitler telling us what the "man must do"
Like Ray said had you introduced yourself a little differently you might have received a better welcome.

It looks like your looking for support of your white women hater club. I'm sorry your mother ran out on you like that but please don't put down all white women like that. I realize that most of the women from your home land are butt ugly but don't lump our white women in with them.

Hum

P.S Welcome to PL! ;-)

[greg]

... in response to Internet dating is OK!, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

Wait a minute. Your living in Japan and you are married to a Japanese?? Living in her native country isn't much of anything to Bragg about in terms length of marriage. From reading your lack of Angier Management post below, I'm sure that if your Japanese wife was living here in America with you, your marriage would be very Brief. So instead of Boasting about your long term marriage with explanations on how to be successful in international dating, you would be crying in your beer, talking about your marriage failure LoL. Not once do I believe Your Crap that "It's the Man" that should do Everything. Sounds like your wife is some kinda slave in Japan. Maybe your way of thinking works in a Ladies native country, where she was taught to be submissive to her Husband, but it wouldn't work for long in America. Anyway, welcome to PL with` your BS post. Come back with a succesful marriage report after Your wife has lived in good ole USA for a lenght of time, otherwise your post is full of Crap.

[Johann]

... in response to Your married 27yrs and counting?? Bravo, posted by greg on Jan 17, 2004

Thanks for your explications.

The point is, that you are right - in the view of USA and Philippines. However not all men, who are looking for a foreign wife from Asia are from the States.

In my case, I am from Europe, and we see this and that somehow different from people living in the States, so what you consider as my post is full of crap, I might think about your post is full of crap in return. We cannot share so easily the same opinion, because we have a different way of life in a different place in this world.

We have also rather different visa-regulations in Europe (easy for the future foreign wife to enter for a visit for 2 or 3 months - totally different from the immigration system of the States), different ideas about a foreign wife (for example your profil says Russian women = no way, for me it is the Latina woman = no way). Different ideas, what the man should do, and what the wife should do and so on.

My Japanese wife was living with me 5 years in my homecountry (Austria, Europe) before moving to Japan 1981. We married in Europe, not in Japan.

And of course, we both have no intention at all to live in the States, we will continue in Asia, now in Japan, and for retirement to Thailand.

Generally said, as long as both, man and wife, agree with their way of living together, I do not see any problem. What might end in divorce in USA, might not end necessarily in the same way in Japan or in Europe.

We will see about our daughter - she married an US-citizen in Canada, and is now living in Hawaii. My daughter had such a lot of formalities for moving into the USA, while living in Canada - unbelieveable in Europe-

What I wrote, is the view of an European man, who has no intention to bring his foreign wife into the USA and who is not forced by immigration to meet his future foreign wife first outside of the USA -
as I heard, many US citizen do not like that regulation, but the way, how it is done in Europe has also its problems -

So it is interesting and useful for me to hear your opinion as an US-citizen, who is also married to an Asian woman.

I hope this will explain to you, why my opinion is different from yours.
Anyway, this should be no reason not to talk to each other.

Best regards, Johann

[greg]

... in response to Re: Your married 27yrs? Yes, but I am no..., posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

to live in your wife's native country with her. I don't know much about the people of Europe, and I'm not married to an Asian nor anyone else for that matter(never married). I personally feel that America is one of the most difficult countries to keep your marriage. I would rather relocate to her native country than to bring her here. God Bless

[Johann]

... in response to Hi Johann, that was wise of you, posted by greg on Jan 17, 2004

You said a very important point:
I would rather relocate to her native country than to bring her here. God Bless

Yes, consider it!
Interracial/International marriage is seen by many US-citizen to find a girl and to bring her into the USA.

This kind of image was made out maybe of the presence of the US military in many parts of the world... US soldier brings freedom to any nation far away from the USA, falls in love with a poor innocent girl there and brings her back to the States.... -

Times are changing, also in Asia.
It works in the other direction as well.

Here in Tokyo working as technician, I know about 20 couples personally, where the man is from USA, and the wife is Japanese, Filipina, Vietnamese, Thai, Chinese.....Most of them living here over 20 years, nobody considering to move back to the States. -
Same with some couples I know in Taiwan, Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore.

So if you can get a job in Asia,it makes sense for us men to move out from Europe or from the States. Distances are considerable long to Asia, and I gave everything up in Europe, even my father moved on to Japan when he was 85 years old. Now 97 years old. For me absolutely no way to return.

It makes sense for the US-man or European man, later on, to consider retirement in Asia. As I see from your profil, you are almost 50 years old... if you have no wife, and some savings, you should consider early retirement in Philippines or other cheap Asian country. Especially if you are out of job with 55 or such problems. Permission for settle down in Thailand, Malaysia and Philippines are easy to get and you find a local nice wife there easily (without any troubles you mentioned about marriage in the USA - not by registration and not by the girl herself)

Foreigners are welcome, costs are remarkable cheap, and the only important point is, you should buy your own accomodation, you should bring some savings with you. I have already an apartment in Thailand for our retirement.

So I am not worried about my future, and as one reader of this forum posted: Would an American woman gives you the time of the day.....I do not need an American woman at all.

Johann

[greg]

... in response to Hi Johann, that was wise of you, posted by greg on Jan 17, 2004

Filipinas and Latinas make good wifes, Russian Women No Way. So I guess you misunderstood.

[Johann]

... in response to my profile says, posted by greg on Jan 17, 2004

Hi, good afternoon,
I think, sometimes my English is not so good, anyway it is not my native language....
As I feel somehow half/half (from Europe,but living in Japan) - so I can comment only on that situation of these areas.
Yes, I understand, that for YOU, Latina and Asian girl is interesting, but the Russian girl is out of question.
For ME - and for many others in Europe, it is different, we do not like the Latina, have some feelings for the Asians (but not really so many...just indeed some of us), and all of them like the Russian wife. -

About Europe:
Our position is different, if you look on a map. When I was still in Europe, Communist border was east of Vienna (Austria), and taking a visa permit and driving over the border was a 30 miles, about 40 minutes from my home. - People are same to us like in Western Europe, many native German speakers (German speaking area in Europe is about 120 million people, so not such a little group) - the Communist area was heavily restricted for the SAME people living there, many of them just separated because of the Second World War. Possible to visit, but impossible to bring them over the border to the West. Now borders are open, but economics are totally down in Eastern Europe. On the Western side, local women especially living outside of big towns are moving away, renting a room in the next city...About 1 million young men out of the German area (especially rural area) cannot find their own wives, because there is no one available.

About Japan:
Here in Japan we have a similar problem, young women are moving out of rural areas, and the only way not to live alone there, is a foreign wife -  however most Japanese men are looking for a Chinese or other Asian wife, for somebody, who can speak/write Chinese/Korean/Japanese ...It is not difficult, to bring somebody into Japan for a visit to try it out and see if you like to live together in the future. You pay the invitation as a sponsor, but the person is forced to leave again Japan within 2-3 months - It is not difficult to visit Korea or China (just 1 hour by plane for Korea, usd 250,- for return ticket for example, about 25 jumbo-jets per day) - Yes, it is looking for wives, but situation cannot be compared to the USA, we can meet easily in both directions, and marriage registration formalities are not so important.

What makes the difference compared to USA:

In USA, in the same area you will find white, black, latino, Asians .... so looks does not matter.

Europe is different, and the ordinary man is looking for a wife, who looks similar to him, so if you see them together, you cannot see any difference, if she is a local or from outside - So the Russian wife is fitting best.

Language is another point, English is widely spoken, but for sure not our native language (except England/Ireland) - so most young men are looking out for somebody, who has advanced German speaking knowledge.

About USA:
I hope, it is not boring for you to hear, how the situation is seen by a man, who is not related to the USA.

In USA, as far as I can see, there are lot of complaints by both, men and women about violence, discrimination, feminists, misuse and so on. It is obviously much more difficult to keep a marriage running successfully, compared to Europe or Japan.

This is, what I am calling a TOLERANCE level (my point 6 on the list), if you feel you are right, and still you are not claiming it - This feeling is somehow missing in the USA.
For example, violence is 20 times higher in USA compared to all other developed countries in this world. - So what might be an argument for some feminists in USA, is not an argument here in Japan. (Maybe you will call me in return, that my wife is my slave, but as a fact, there is no violence in our home at all and it is still the same marriage after 27 years - but this is another matter)

It seems to be much more difficult in formalities, takes much longer, and is much more expensive for an US citizen to look out for a foreign wife and to bring her back to the USA compared to Europe or here in Japan.

This is another reason for wild disputes between men and women, living in the USA. - Generally we think here in Japan (and same in Europe) that you have your right to choose your partner and to bring him/her with you to your home-country (without any extra expenses or formalities) - there is no understandings by non-US-citizens like me, why should this be more difficult or more expensive. Just these expenses and formalities are arguments for radical feminist groups to accuse you, that you BUY your foreign wife. Of course you again will talk back, accusing them they are greedy, demanding, envy you .....

Just for your understandings -  so you have your problems as US-citizen, and as a fact, we have other problems, but not the same problems.....

Regards,
Johann

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: my profile says /misunderstandings, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

You said "violence is 20 times higher in USA compared to all other developed countries in this world." I assume you were referring to violence in the context of relationships and marriage. This is nonsense. Perhaps REPORTED violence is 20 times higher, but the little dark secret is that most domestic violence goes unreported. During my last visit to Japan there was a TV program about the huge amount of spousal abuse in Japanese marriages, and how it is nearly never reported. Unlike in the US, where it's in the open, in Japan, it's cosidered private business between the married couple. The overall incidence is about the same in both countries - at least that's what was reported in the documentary.

BTW - welcome to the board. My grandparents were from Vienna and I also am married to a Japanese woman. We just had our 18th anniversary, and live in California USA. Though it's a popular notion on this board, I have no interest in retiring in a third world country. I spend too much time in the third world on business. Give me Vienna, Osaka, Seattle, or Stockholm any old day.

- Jeff

[Johann]

... in response to I don't agree, posted by Jeff S on Jan 19, 2004

Thanks a lot for your nice message.
It is now 3AM have to go to bed...

This message board has something like one problem, it cannot be sorted for date... so it is difficult to see, what is a new message, not read yet, and what is an old message....

How do you look up your messages on this board?

About the violence rate and so on, yes is difficult, I tell you tomorrow, how this figure was calculated....

Retirement: Thailand....apartment is ready,
no way back to Europe, nothing there anymore...even my father is living here....

Best regards,

and will reply tomorrow....

Johann

[Bob S]

... in response to Internet dating is OK!, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

Hey Johann, where in Tokyo are you?  I used to live in Saitama prefecture for about a year and a half before moving back to La-La Land, CA.

A few comments...
"3- It is the man, who has to get on the plane first..."
99% of the time this is true.  But FWIW, my wife actually came to visit ME first.  Yes, we are a freaky wierd couple and an exception to the rule. (One of the nice things about courting someone with a nice cushy gov't job and tourist yen to spare.)

"4- It is the man, who has to study... Do not expect your girl to study about you!"
In practical principle, I agree with Ray.  A general rule of thumb is, whoever does the moving will ultimately need to do the most studying. (As you now live in Tokyo, the situation is reverse in your case to the norm of the woman moving to where the man lives.)  Though initially the woman may THINK she doesn't have to do any studying because, since they probably get all kinds of American or Western movies exported to her country, she thinks she already knows all about American or Western culture (a false assumption she will realize soon after she's been here a while).

"5- It is the man, who has to introduce your girl to your local life..."
Yes, just as she will do it for you when making return visits to her hometown.  The one danger in this is that you may develop a "teacher-student" relationship to the detriment of your "husband-wife" relationship.  The sooner she learns the lay of the land and develops her own strengths and independence, the sooner you can return to the equal partnership most guys here I think are truly looking for.

"6- It is the man, who has to be prepared to exercise an extraordinary amount of TOLERANCE..."
As Ray says, this cuts both ways, though IMO works differently for each partner.  The spouse who left his/her homeland (typically the woman) must have patience with the whole situation of being a stranger in a strange land and having to relearn the most basic of daily chores and habits.  If the man in America has a habit of being short tempered, he WILL have to exercise a great deal more patience that he's used to.  If they have a quarrel, anything he says can and will be used against him in a court of law.  If he is a stupid jerk enough to threaten her immirgration status during a fight, it is considered psychological abuse and will get him in deep doo-doo with the BCIS.  She has a lot of legal protection and can hurt him a lot more than he can hurt her if he doesn't watch himself.

FWIW, the more foreign (Western) girls I met while in Japan, the more I appreciated how lucky I was to have my sweet, peaceful, gentle, thoughtful, kind, soulful, and talented kawaii Japanese woman.