Bear's wager...

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: Bear's wager..., posted by The Sunwolf on Jan 11, 2002

nt

[Carrisse]

... in response to Bear's wager..., posted by Sunwolf on Jan 10, 2002

That Filipinas just want to stay at home and take care of families.  Although we value family, not ALL of them want to stay home.  I am pursuing a career but I'm not neglecting my family either.  I think I'm very balanced.  Besides, I just don't want to sit at home while my husband work his butt off.  I do want to buy him anniversary gifts from MY own money and not get it from the family coffers.

I may have a fine Filipina for you.  I just have to email her first.

[The Sunwolf]

... in response to Another misconception...., posted by Carrisse on Jan 10, 2002

Here's another misconception for ya Carrisse.  How about the misconceived notion that I said anything about not wanting my partner to work?  What I said was that american women are now too enamored of their careers to even want one child.  Work can't be everything, and I want kids.  Most filipinas I know of want a family, too.  That's why I like them, and I am not very impressed with the american breed.  No offense, but please restrict your comments to what I ACTUALLY say, rather than what you assume I am saying.  Maybe we can be friends.

Thank you,
The Sunwolf

[Carrisse]

... in response to Re: Another misconception...., posted by The Sunwolf on Jan 11, 2002

Here's what you said about AWs:

They don't want a family, they want a full-time career.[Unquote]

Although you generalized here which is really another misconception about AWs (some of them want a family more than a career), I was just telling a fact that not ALL Filipinas want to stay home.  I did not say anything about you not wanting your wife to work.  Maybe you should re-read my post.

One unsolicited advice:  With the rate your going, you will scare some Filipinas off.  You have to understand that we will say things that you will find a little bit off.  But that is our culture.  We will ask you personal questions which may offend you but will mean nothing to us because that is part of our culture.  If you're going to be too onion-skinned (read: sensitive) then you might turn alot of girls off.  Lighten up, enjoy the discussion as they come and glean what is beneficial for you.

[Ray]

... in response to Another misconception...., posted by Carrisse on Jan 10, 2002

for clearing that one up for us. Of all the Filipino and Fil-Am couples I've known here in the States, I cannot think of one where the wife didn't work full time outside the home. And it's not always for financial reasons either. Many times it's just to stay active or relieve the boredom.

Just a comment about the money thing. If you and your husband have a good understanding about family financial matters, that’s great. But I have seen numerous marriages in serious trouble because one or both of the partners insist on separating earnings into his and hers. If the wife goes to work and then claims that all her wages are Her money to do with as She alone decides, then there could be very serious friction in the marriage, unless of course this arrangement was mutually agreed upon in advance. I have noticed that many Filipinas in particular think this way, so it’s just one more possible cultural difference to investigate and consider. But as always, communication and mutual understanding before marriage is of utmost importance to a successful relationship.

I always enjoy your posts.

Ray

[kevin]

... in response to Thanks Carrisse..., posted by Ray on Jan 11, 2002

It boils down to the "weness" mentality of the marriage.  Granted each partner should have some discretionary money for minor things.  Big ticket things should mutually be agreed upon on first.

In my opinion in a good marriage, it's "our" money.  But both spouses must think that way, and the American male must be sure he's talking WITH her as opposed to talking AT her in addressing the issue.  My ex-wife and many others exhibited the "What's mine is mine, what's your's is mine" mentality.  With my girlfriend after the divorce, I was really testing the waters regarding money matters and financial issues to be addressed.  I'd voice my concerns what had to be considered first.  In one ear and out the other.  She expected my to be solely responsible for all issues pertaining to our relationship, and expected me to dole out the dough on demand.  In the end, a friend of hers (married in a fly-by-night Vegas wedding) had the same mentality, and I knew I'd be in trouble if I married this woman.

- Kevin

[Paulv]

... in response to Another misconception...., posted by Carrisse on Jan 10, 2002

Most Filipinas in the Philippines work as well as take care of the household chores.  Only the quite wealthy do not work unless they wish to.

I have often said and observed that the only thing keeping the Philippines going is their women.  While so many of the men are messing around, drinking, gambling, going to cockfights, and whoring around as best they can, the women are working very, very hard -- diligently and honestly, for the most part.

Most of the Filipinas I know in the US are exactly the same.

Not all the men are bad and lazy, but if the Philippines didn't have women of such character the country would not run at ALL.

Paulv

[Pete]

... in response to Another misconception...., posted by Carrisse on Jan 10, 2002

I think Im in love...heheheheh...just kidding...nice post
carrisse (^_^)