... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Money Issues and Fil..., posted by Nanz on Oct 12, 2003Thank you Nancy,
I don’t know you but it seems you or women you have known have had similar situations. Yes your advice is close to what I am thinking. What is missing is the question, am I the only one thinking the same things. These threads help me to see if I am on the right track. It is complicated as my wife is young and doesn’t have much experience in how to handle helping her parents and being loyal to me, I am sure she loves us both. She will go to Cebu next week where I can communicate with her much easier. I feel I did some damage asking her to choose my plane ticket for Feb or use that money for fixing her parents house. I was on the phone with her and I ask her to sell the motorcycle and use the money to help. She didn’t like that idea coz if I stayed and retired I would need it with my bad hip. After that I gave her the idea that I could use the money for the plane ticket to help her parents with the house. I knew I made a mistake but it was too late. A test of her maturity and without hesitation said I should come in Feb and that seeing me was more important than the house. We were husband and wife and we have to meet in Feb.
Well now my idea is get more detail about the parent’s house and at least help with half before they sell any more stock and get the house started without the big loan. You and Ray advising me to do it unconditionally is what I will do. I am aware of the pride thing and with your letter have a better understanding of how they must feel. I have a different respect for all of them knowing they are in trouble and are not expecting anything from me.
About Maricel not wanting to come to the USA is partly my fault. I had made her believe that I may retire in the PI. I looked at real estate with her in most of the islands we visited. We had lengthy conversations of which island would be the best to settle in. She liked the idea of being close to her family, friends and things she knew. And like you said she had friends and rumors of long waiting to come to the USA.
Although I did see places that I liked to retire in the PI when I got off the plane in Orlando and rode the highway back to Daytona I could feel my mind changing to retire here.
I did have a conversation with her last time explaining the paper work and to be patient that it will be faster than we thought. So I told her to forget buying the piglets to raise. At the same time I didn’t want to raise any false hopes of us getting together in the US soon. I myself was under the belief that the K3 would take about a year. Things have changed a lot since a year ago. Now I see some have reunited within 6 to 8 months. Maricel is not that good on the email or chat. If we didn’t meet in person at first we would have never met. She reluctantly went on the email after I had returned to the USA. I got educated in Australia with 6 grades in one room and one teacher around 1948 to 1959. My education suffered and to this day without spell check I would be lost. So we chat on Yahoo and I have learned to talk to her on the phone five minutes at a time. She was so excited coz the town she emails me from now has a tower that was completed for cell phone coverage. Now she only has to travel 40 min for cell phone coverage and email availability. Alas when we chat there is a lot of down time, the server there is not very reliable. Ray gave good advice to get her out of the mountains and into Cebu where she can communicate every day. Well yes but once she has done all her paperwork she wants to go back with her mama and papa. More so if she thinks she will not see them for a long time later. At first she wanted to get a house in Cebu but has since changed her mind. She said she liked Cebu but missed being home too. So what makes sense sometimes is a problem with the heart. I am still not that sure how long the K3 will take. So I told her that I plan to see her in Feb for sure no matter what. There are no men in her family except her dad and her older sister’s husband. She has two younger sisters under 15 and I wonder if that would make it harder for her daddy as girls are not as helpful on the farm as boys would.
Thanks for the feed back Nancy it is appreciated.
