... in response to Sources of conflict in Fil-West marriage..., posted by Matt on Oct 7, 2003[This message has been edited by Dave H]
Hi Matt,
While I've heard stories of Fil/Am relationships that are this way. But, it doesn't apply to my wife or sister-in-law.
-The husband's relationship with his family; is it lacking?
Although most of my family lives in other states, we remain very close.
-Competition with neighbors; pride (vanity)
We live our own life and are very happy being simple. We are happy when other people succeed.
-Superstitions of Filipinas
I find some of theirs quite amusing and she does ours. I usually read about them on P-L and then ask her about them. She doesn't believe them any more than I do.
-Religion (like Howard said, are you two on the same spiritual and religious plane?)
No problems. We attend church together. I was raised Protestant (Presbyterian), but have attended the Roman Catholic Church for the past 20 years. Although I don't believe in some of the doctorines (neither do many Catholics, including priests). She is tolerant of whatever religious beliefs I hold.
-Power sharing-"who's the boss" (not Tony Danza!)
WHAT...I'm not the boss? She lets me pretend and actually makes me believe that I am. LOL
-Homesickness
That can be a real problem for most Filipinas. It takes love and patience to help them overcome it. A trip or two to the Philippines during the first few years doesn't hurt either.
-English vs. Tagalog/Visayan etc problems in communication
My wife speaks very good English, so that has never been a problem. I am trying to learn Tagalog and Bisayan so I can snoop.
-Former girlfriends and/or wives
Filipinas have some Spanish blood and culture, so you have to expect a little jealousy when dealing with an ex. Maybe a slight tampo, not the threats of castration that I am used to from Latinas. =8oO I have never had any problems when I talk to other women. My wife thinks many of the women here are beautiful and look like movie stars. She used to wonder why I chose a small, brown skinned woman over these "stars." After I met her, they never had a chance.
-Children by other marriages
My two sons live with us. I was a single parent for 6 years, so it took a few months for everyone to adjust and overcome their shyness. My wife loves them very much and they do her her. My sons say I am much nicer since we have been together. 
))) Hard not to like someone who can soften up the Ol' Man and takes good care of him.
-Unrealistic expectations of both parties, such as she expects a larger house or he expects her to be a domestic slave
Not at all! We live and work together as a team. We both grew up doing domestic chores (my mother was seriously ill since I was 7) and taking care of others. My wife lived in a small house her entire life and prefers it, even though we could afford a much larger home. Although...she wouldn't mind living someplace where we could have a rooster in the yard. LOL
Dave H.
