As I sit here eating a bowl of oatmeal...

[Ray]

... in response to Thank You rgg!, posted by Dave H on Mar 17, 2001

I think Jay had a neat word to describe that mentality, but I just can't remember it, do you?

Ray

[Jay]

... in response to Hey Dave..., posted by Ray on Mar 17, 2001

Hi Ray,

Having trouble posting anything past one paragraph. Keep getting page error's, but I may have fixed it. Don't trust it yet though. The word was "Stateside Commando". Congrad's to you and migs!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll try these short post's for now. Lost a larger one this A.M. to Stephen and yesterday A.M. about an easy suggestion to find out if a woman is a "gold-digger" up front. So MANY seem to be concerned about that! :

Take care,
Jay

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Hey Dave..., posted by Jay on Mar 17, 2001

It’s good to see you back on the board Jay!

A suggestion for that problem you’re having with the posts: Type the message in Word or WordPad or whatever you use. Then copy and paste the text into the block where you post your replies on PL. If it blows up before it is posted, at least you didn’t lose your text. Patrick has a bug in the new system that causes my browser to blow up also, especially on longer messages.

Ray

[Jay]

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Jay..., posted by Ray on Mar 17, 2001

Thank's Ray,

I'll do that. I thought about it before, but didn't do it. Don't know why.

Jay

[Dave H]

... in response to Hey Dave..., posted by Ray on Mar 17, 2001

Hi Ray,

I think you're right. I can't remember either. Jay had a lot of neat things to say. Looks like he might be my new neighbor soon. )

Dave H.

[Jay]

... in response to Help Jay!, posted by Dave H on Mar 17, 2001

Hi Dave,

Just had another page fault on the first attempt at this post. Guess I didn't fix it! D@mn AOL!!

Neat thing's to say? Why, thank you! I kind of alway's though most of my stuff sounded like mindless drivel! ROTFLMAO. Must be my inferiority complex. : Matt told me the other day, I was an egomaniac w/ an inferiority complex!
LOL!

See you in July!!

Take Care,
Jay

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Question..., posted by rgg on Mar 17, 2001

And that includes marriage for the wrong reasons.  Marriage as a weapon.  It is easier to get a marriage certificate, rent your body, and later obtain a divorce certificate.  The fruits of all this:  Another man's wealth as well as destroying his soul in the process.  Let's face it.  For many it's probably a hell of alot easier than going to the PNB and sticking a gun to the head of the fist bank teller and demanding cash.  The drawback is, of course, this strategy takes years.  The probable benefit:  You can get a way with it.

Abstract of my involvement with my ex-wife:

Phase 1 - The Courtship process.  I had lots of pen-pals.  Attractive women.  I though that the majority were looking for the same thing I was looking for.  That is LOVE.  In the letters, phrases like "God Bless You", or "Pray to our Savior Jesus Christ and trust in Him" were pretty common among these girls.  In contrast to the relatively secular United States, and a dating scene that runs quite contrary to moral/Christian principles, I though this woas all the more reason why a woman with a background from the Philippines would make a better life-partner (value marriage as something Divine) than what was leftover of the American girls.  Of course, I'm really more attracted to Filipina women too.  But attraction is only part of the equation to make a good relationship.  And when I say attraction, I mean mutual attraction between each other.  Not the "1 to 10" scale that one will rate herself and tell the world how lucky her husband is to have her because of her looks.  To me, a woman can be on the heavy side but have other features that really attract me.  She might not make it to the Pinay bikini calendar, but I'd rather have a woman that wan't influenced by the "rest of the world".  That's how harmony can really be established.  Frankly, I don't think I'd want a woman with a history of flaunting her attractiveness.

Phase 2 - After Marriage.  At first my ex-wife used to tell me how lucky she was to have me.  That I wasn't a life-insurance-scam-artist-murderer looking for a quick buck as stories are so often told in the Philippines.  Of the friends she made, the "back-stabbing" began.  My ex was educated and proud of it.  She made sure other Pinays know about it to by making subtle insults, and then gossiping behind their backs.  She prided herself on dressing better, speaking better English, etc.  From her point of view, I think it ripped her soul out when she realized that the husbands of certain Pinays made alot more money than I did.  I mean the husbands had professions in higher income brackets.  When my ex realized that, she really turned sour on me.  I think it drove her crazy (and she was jealous) that of the Pinays she ridiculed or looked down upon, there husbands incidentally provided them more in terms of material luxuries than I did.  During our relatively short marriage, we only had one automobile.  But after being married two years, she met a Pinay who's husband has a very lucrative landscaping business.  My ex-to-be became very resentful to me that this Pinay's husband got her a SUV (Sports Utility Vehicle).  The bottom line is after marriage, everything revolved around MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.  Not newfound happiness with Kano mahals.  The whole purpose was about getting material things.  And this can be corroborated by her circle of friends leaving their husbands at home, and congregating at Mustang Sally's (a favorite disco and hang-out spot).  They'd flirt with the guys there, and one guy had the whole Pinay gang over his house after the evening for a 2:00 AM breakfast.  A single man with his harem of married women.

- Kevin

[rgg]

... in response to Re: Re: Question..., posted by kevin on Mar 17, 2001


Kevin ...... I can only say that you have to put your past behind though there is a lesson to be learned from all this.  Healing of one's bruised self-esteem takes a long process, knowing too well that you've been used/abused.  However, forgiveness is a virtue and an important ingredient to healing and ultimately in obtaining peace within you and erasing bitterness in your heart. I am sure you'll find your happiness soon....another Pinay, truly deserving of you ...  )  

P.S.  next time go with your wife at Mustang Sally's, she shouldn't be going out till 2AM alone....     rgg

[Timee]

... in response to Re: Re: Question..., posted by kevin on Mar 17, 2001

You are very lucky that your exwife did not try and kill you for life insurance money.

The little details that you point out sound so very famililar to my situation.  The material posessions were very important to Myrna.  She would dress to the hilt, almost to catch the eye of someone with a dime more than me.  My exwife had her boyfreind buy her a sports car TransAm.  

There are so many people who have no knowledge of this forum and  have experinced similar.

I beleive that we as American men are thinking more of the Japanees type of discliplin and culture.

[kevin]

... in response to Sounds Familiar - Must Be Same Family Re..., posted by Timee on Mar 17, 2001

There was a case where an FSU mail-order-bride colluded with her boyfriend and murdered her husband.

The start of all this, the woman had to send money back to the Ukraine to help a "cousin".  She took out the man's life savings and sent it to her "cousin".  It turns out her "cousin" was her boyfriend in her home country.  They built a beautiful house with the man's money.  When the husband went to the Ukraine to visit the wife, and try to grapple with what was going on, he was murdered by the boyfriend while the wife stood and watched.  If I remember correctly, I think the murder was staged as an accident so the wife and boyfriend could collect the husban's life insurance.  I'm not positive about the life insurance bit.

I know there's alot of talk in the Philippines about foreign men that marry Filipinas for life-insurance-fraud purposes.  But, I've yet to know of such an incident.  I think, quite frankly, that's just an alibi that a gold-digger uses to exhibit a facade of innocence and conceal subversive intentions.

When I was visiting an ex-girlfriend in California, a divorcing Filipina mail-order-bride came over for a visit.  I couldn't gather too much of the conversation because it was spoken in mixed Tagalog and English.  But I heard this woman talking about her divorce-in-process, her husband, her boyfriend, a tape-recorder under the bed to record secret phone conversations, and about hiring somebody to murder her husband to collect life insurance money.  I recognized some key words.  It was a creepy feeling.  On the surface, I guess because of the Filipina look, and her voice, she appeared sweet and innocent.

Well, that relationship fell apart (with my Filipina ex-girlfriend in California) when I questioned something.  The ugly truth was that her true colors were evidently bad.  Better to find out sooner rather than later.  The entire circle of friends that came in and out to visit gave me the creeps.  The talk in the air was MONEY, AND TO ACQUIRE THINGS.  One of the friends tried to mess with my head about my relationship with my girlfriend.  This women was screwing around on her husband behind his back big-time.  About the divorcing woman talking about murder, when she came over, it was my last night at that place.  It was the vacation that wasn't.  And I was sure glad to get the heck home, as heart-broken as I was.

Personally, I don't have life insurance.  No need for it right now.  It's a waste of money.  If I die, I have enough in my retirement account to cover my funeral and my burial.  Shall I marry again someday, I'll have to fit term life insurance into my budget.

When I was married, I planned on getting life insurance as part of our budget.  But that was never realized.  There were too many other demands, and desires, in concert with the bills that already had to be paid, and our incomes.  I figured once my wife (my exwife) got stabilized, then we could make life insurance a part of the household budget, just like everything else, including sending some money to help her family.

In hindsight, I think my lack of life insurance could have saved my life.  If I had a lucrative enough policy, the temptation might have been overwhelming to slip poison in my beverage.

- Kevin

[FL]

... in response to Re: Question..., posted by rgg on Mar 17, 2001

Sure sounds like America and other western countries to me! Of course we been at it much longer than the Phils. HHmmm, I wonder where they learned it from?

[MAY]

... in response to Re: Re: Question..., posted by FL on Mar 17, 2001

(with my head bowed..saying to you very politely)  Thank you, kind sir.   *s*

[FL]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Question..., posted by MAY on Mar 17, 2001

A Thank-you is not needed, but humbly accepted :-). My experience in the Phils. is limited to three weeks, my experience with filipinas is limited to writing to many, many and learning to love and become engaged to one(waiting for interview date)But in my breif/limited experience I've learned "We" have so much more to learn from "You" than "We" have to teach. My fiance has taught me more about myself and the true value/nature of the human spirit in the last year than I learned in this lifetime on my own. I believe she shares the true values of the great majority of the filipina heart and soul (heart of gold!) May, Welcome and please keep posting!!!

[MAY]

... in response to Question..., posted by Dave H on Mar 16, 2001

Good morning......I will answer that.....LATER...for now, I am late for work and rushing out of my apartment.

*S*...as I said, this is getting to be a habit indeed.  Never bothered opening this box prior to leaving in the morning before.  =)

Goodnight  (as I am sure most of you are in the other part of the world).

[Dave H]

... in response to Question..., posted by Dave H on Mar 16, 2001

...for People Power I and II, where many Filipinos worked together until the end.

My previous post was not meant as a flame, but a genuine question for anyone with an opinion.

Dave H.