Cinderella and the glass slipper

[Peter Lee]

Well boys and gals,

I owe you all the rest of the story.  Thanks for all the advice and personal email and yahoo chats.  I compiled an outline of things to say and do from all your mail.  I could not believe how much help I got, thanks.  But it is not over till the fat lady sings and I don’t hear the music yet.  

1108   eight minutes late.   It was going to be one of those normal I love you babe chats.  I miss and love you.  My comments at the end from the phone conversation that followed

Not her real name I changed it Ok
peterlee7772000 (10:08:15 PM): hello dear
peterlee7772000 (10:08:46 PM):
ana (10:09:05 PM): hi
peterlee7772000 (10:09:15 PM): hello hello hello
ana (10:09:16 PM):  my dear i miss you so much
peterlee7772000 (10:09:22 PM): yes me too
peterlee7772000 (10:09:36 PM): how are you in your real home
ana (10:09:43 PM): find
peterlee7772000 (10:09:46 PM): good
peterlee7772000 (10:09:49 PM): are you happy
ana (10:10:03 PM): but u know internet is very far
peterlee7772000 (10:10:13 PM): yes i know
ana (10:10:25 PM): babe i love you
peterlee7772000 (10:10:34 PM): i like to hear that
ana (10:10:44 PM): ohhhm
peterlee7772000 (10:10:48 PM): you know i miss you so much
ana (10:11:03 PM): mee toooooo
peterlee7772000 (10:11:09 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (10:11:33 PM): is it nice not to be working for your aunt for a change?
ana (10:11:59 PM): yeeees
peterlee7772000 (10:12:07 PM): i thought so
ana (10:12:12 PM): but i love also my aunt my dear
peterlee7772000 (10:12:18 PM): yes
peterlee7772000 (10:12:29 PM): family is family
ana (10:12:36 PM): yees
peterlee7772000 (10:13:07 PM): will you have loyalty to me
ana (10:13:32 PM): yess why
peterlee7772000 (10:13:33 PM): pakikisama
ana (10:13:55 PM): why
peterlee7772000 (10:14:04 PM): do you know that word
peterlee7772000 (10:14:13 PM): Utang na loob
ana (10:14:54 PM): yes
peterlee7772000 (10:15:10 PM): what does that mean
ana (10:15:22 PM): utang na loob is deep of gratitude
peterlee7772000 (10:15:38 PM): do you owe that to your aunt
ana (10:15:46 PM): why are you saying those words
peterlee7772000 (10:16:18 PM): do they mean anything to you Maricel
ana (10:18:03 PM): noo
peterlee7772000 (10:18:16 PM): maricel i want to be your husband soon
peterlee7772000 (10:18:32 PM): i want to trust you always
ana (10:18:33 PM): ok
ana (10:18:46 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (10:18:58 PM): something has come up that must be cleared up
ana (10:19:33 PM): were did i go wrong
peterlee7772000 (10:19:44 PM): i don;t know
peterlee7772000 (10:19:52 PM): you can tell me Maricel
ana (10:20:04 PM): what you mean tell me ok
ana (10:20:07 PM): pls
peterlee7772000 (10:20:23 PM): i talked to Mrs Psamos yesterday
ana (10:20:26 PM): :-/
ana (10:20:42 PM): then what happen
peterlee7772000 (10:20:54 PM): she had a lot of nice things to say about you
ana (10:21:17 PM): about what
peterlee7772000 (10:21:25 PM): about you]
ana (10:21:36 PM): what about me
peterlee7772000 (10:21:38 PM): you were an outstanding student
peterlee7772000 (10:21:51 PM): and she wished us luck on our marriage
ana (10:22:19 PM): and
ana (10:22:30 PM): what
peterlee7772000 (10:22:35 PM): that is all\
ana (10:22:48 PM): ok
ana (10:23:01 PM): hows ur hip my dear
peterlee7772000 (10:23:23 PM): but i ask about the phase III seamans course
ana (10:23:36 PM): then
ana (10:23:44 PM): what
peterlee7772000 (10:23:59 PM): and she quoted a different price than what you told me
ana (10:24:19 PM): ohmmmmm
ana (10:24:24 PM): you know
peterlee7772000 (10:24:34 PM): yes
ana (10:24:55 PM): even you asked my uncle he well tell you ok
peterlee7772000 (10:25:08 PM): i talked to your uncle
ana (10:25:12 PM): you mean im lying to you
peterlee7772000 (10:25:28 PM): i do not know that is why i am asking
peterlee7772000 (10:26:06 PM): i think you aunt has made you do things you don't want to do
ana (10:26:09 PM): if then,if thats the way of your thinking
peterlee7772000 (10:26:29 PM): i am not thinking anything i am waiting for you to tell me
peterlee7772000 (10:27:21 PM): i think you are a good girl and a true Christine
ana (10:27:22 PM): you want me to elaborate anything
ana (10:27:27 PM): you want
peterlee7772000 (10:27:30 PM): plz
peterlee7772000 (10:27:51 PM): I would like to hear the whole story
peterlee7772000 (10:28:27 PM): if we are too be one
peterlee7772000 (10:28:40 PM): we must stick together no matter what
peterlee7772000 (10:28:47 PM): but you must tell me
ana (10:28:50 PM): peter can i asked you
peterlee7772000 (10:28:54 PM): yes
ana (10:29:41 PM): you want me to work or not
peterlee7772000 (10:30:12 PM): We talked about this before
peterlee7772000 (10:30:30 PM): but before anything we must trust each other
peterlee7772000 (10:30:44 PM): please tell me what is going on
ana (10:30:49 PM): then
peterlee7772000 (10:31:12 PM): I am feeling very stupid
ana (10:31:39 PM): you told me you dont want me to work then i follow you
peterlee7772000 (10:31:53 PM): that is fine
ana (10:32:07 PM): what you want me to do
peterlee7772000 (10:32:08 PM): but what about my question
peterlee7772000 (10:32:28 PM): i would like you to tell me what happened
peterlee7772000 (10:32:42 PM): did your aunt make you do things that were wrong?
ana (10:32:45 PM): you want me to jumped in a cliff
peterlee7772000 (10:32:52 PM): no no no
peterlee7772000 (10:33:03 PM): i love you
peterlee7772000 (10:33:14 PM): i am now a fool for love
ana (10:33:27 PM): no plsa my aunt is out of topic
peterlee7772000 (10:33:31 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (10:34:06 PM): i think many graduating expenses was also different
ana (10:34:14 PM): you peter i love you but if thats what you think im fooling plssssss
peterlee7772000 (10:34:31 PM): it is not what i think
ana (10:34:34 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (10:34:40 PM): you are not explaining anything
peterlee7772000 (10:34:55 PM): i need you to explain so we can go on
ana (10:34:58 PM): i give what you want
peterlee7772000 (10:35:05 PM): i want you
ana (10:35:23 PM): if if you want me to give up you
peterlee7772000 (10:35:27 PM): i want you to tell me the whole story
ana (10:35:51 PM): i do it w/ ur happiness ok
peterlee7772000 (10:35:56 PM): was the money more important than me
ana (10:36:43 PM): no you i love you  
peterlee7772000 (10:36:55 PM): thank God
peterlee7772000 (10:37:18 PM): things have happened that i know nothing about
peterlee7772000 (10:37:24 PM): please tell me
peterlee7772000 (10:38:18 PM): Do you have the cell phone with you?
ana (10:38:23 PM): peter listen if you want that ill give up you i do that if you would be happy 4 that ok
peterlee7772000 (10:38:45 PM): i never said i would give you up
ana (10:38:57 PM): bye thank you 4 everything
peterlee7772000 (10:39:30 PM): Maricel are you a true Christine?
ana (10:40:23 PM): byeeee i love you i wish you all the best my dear byeeeee
peterlee7772000 (10:40:35 PM): You have stolen money
ana (10:40:38 PM): muahhhhhhhhh
ana (10:40:55 PM): noooooooo
ana (10:40:55 PM): why
peterlee7772000 (10:41:01 PM): yes \
peterlee7772000 (10:41:06 PM): you have sinned
ana (10:41:18 PM): noooooooo
peterlee7772000 (10:41:24 PM): and now you are going to break my heart
peterlee7772000 (10:41:34 PM): and i love you
ana (10:41:37 PM): no
ana (10:41:54 PM): peter listen plssssssssss
peterlee7772000 (10:42:06 PM): no one will love you like me again
peterlee7772000 (10:42:15 PM): yes
ana (10:42:56 PM): what you mean that im aftering your money ,no im not
ana (10:43:18 PM): if you what i well send you back your money
peterlee7772000 (10:43:25 PM): please explain your actions and what you did
peterlee7772000 (10:43:50 PM): I had put you in my trust
peterlee7772000 (10:44:00 PM): i loved you family
ana (10:44:27 PM): then
ana (10:44:34 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (10:44:39 PM): and then you tell me?
ana (10:44:43 PM): lets do these way ok
peterlee7772000 (10:44:47 PM): what did i do wrong
ana (10:45:25 PM): what should i tell you
ana (10:45:44 PM): about what
peterlee7772000 (10:45:49 PM): what happened
ana (10:46:05 PM): happened where
peterlee7772000 (10:46:31 PM): about the infalted graduation fees and the 48,000 seamans course?
peterlee7772000 (10:46:37 PM): why?
peterlee7772000 (10:47:12 PM): and now you are willing to just say goodbye so easy
ana (10:47:20 PM): ok
ana (10:47:43 PM): how much money you send me 4 graduation
peterlee7772000 (10:47:44 PM): can you say good bye after we have known each other
peterlee7772000 (10:48:16 PM): I have sent you $700 total sinc Feb
ana (10:48:36 PM): but thats you really want i know coz you found someone
peterlee7772000 (10:48:52 PM): maricel i have found no one
ana (10:48:53 PM): right
ana (10:49:00 PM): tell me
peterlee7772000 (10:49:04 PM): i think about you all the time
peterlee7772000 (10:49:13 PM): i am in love with you
ana (10:49:15 PM): noooooooooo
ana (10:49:35 PM): i know you can find someone
peterlee7772000 (10:49:44 PM): i would not even sent my mother or sister that much money
peterlee7772000 (10:49:53 PM): yes i can find some one
peterlee7772000 (10:50:00 PM): do you want me too
ana (10:50:25 PM): nnnnooooooooo pls i would die
peterlee7772000 (10:50:32 PM): You were going to marry me in Cebu rememer
peterlee7772000 (10:51:07 PM): Maricel we are meant for each other
ana (10:51:18 PM): if you stell love m,e
peterlee7772000 (10:51:23 PM): yes i do
ana (10:51:46 PM): but i think you dont my dear
peterlee7772000 (10:52:05 PM): I have done more than any man could
ana (10:52:42 PM): peter are angry w/ me
peterlee7772000 (10:52:46 PM): no
peterlee7772000 (10:52:59 PM): i can never be angry with you
ana (10:53:03 PM): plsssssssssssssssss
ana (10:53:21 PM): what you want me to do pls
peterlee7772000 (10:53:29 PM): but you should tell what happened
ana (10:53:38 PM): babe
peterlee7772000 (10:53:41 PM): yes
ana (10:53:44 PM): plss
peterlee7772000 (10:54:03 PM): I see that you will not tell me anything
peterlee7772000 (10:54:17 PM): i thought i knew you
peterlee7772000 (10:54:35 PM): now i do not know what you are thinking'
peterlee7772000 (10:54:53 PM): i feel like an ungly old man now
peterlee7772000 (10:55:11 PM): please help me
ana (10:55:16 PM): babe i tell you the money you send about the graduation rig
ana (10:55:25 PM): nnnooooooooo
ana (10:55:25 PM): plssss
ana (10:55:25 PM): sorry
ana (10:55:42 PM): whattttttttt
ana (10:56:32 PM): peter plssssssssssss
ana (10:57:07 PM): peterrrrrrr
peterlee7772000 (10:57:13 PM): yes dear
peterlee7772000 (10:57:19 PM): i am very sad
peterlee7772000 (10:57:49 PM): i don't understand anything
ana (10:57:50 PM): and what about me you think im not
peterlee7772000 (10:58:02 PM): tell me
ana (10:58:25 PM): ok
ana (10:58:42 PM): the money you send me is w/ me ok
peterlee7772000 (10:58:59 PM): very good
ana (10:59:02 PM): i never stolen money my dear
peterlee7772000 (10:59:12 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (10:59:28 PM): what about the Phase III
ana (10:59:53 PM): you i always kept money
ana (11:00:06 PM): i never stolen it ok
peterlee7772000 (11:00:20 PM): i understand
ana (11:00:21 PM): ok
ana (11:00:25 PM): i well tell you
peterlee7772000 (11:00:48 PM): ok
ana (11:01:11 PM): thanks you my dear
ana (11:01:27 PM): so you stell love me
peterlee7772000 (11:01:29 PM): yes
ana (11:01:42 PM): babe plsss
peterlee7772000 (11:01:48 PM): yes i still love you
ana (11:01:56 PM): dont make trouble plsssss
peterlee7772000 (11:02:01 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (11:02:16 PM): but i ask you and got no answer
ana (11:02:36 PM): my dear if you live me well kill my self,im not joking
peterlee7772000 (11:02:46 PM): i was not the one who makes trouble
peterlee7772000 (11:03:20 PM): please don't say that
ana (11:03:36 PM): solas is 5,000
ana (11:04:01 PM): pssr is4,800
peterlee7772000 (11:04:19 PM): yes not 48,000
ana (11:04:54 PM): you know im not finish ok
peterlee7772000 (11:04:59 PM): ok
ana (11:05:24 PM): thre so many requirements ok
ana (11:05:30 PM): fire fighting
peterlee7772000 (11:05:55 PM): yes i have talked to people who have gone thought the whole requirements
ana (11:05:58 PM): cav
ana (11:05:59 PM): sirv
peterlee7772000 (11:06:14 PM):  it is under 10,000
ana (11:06:30 PM): and then
ana (11:06:43 PM): who told you that
peterlee7772000 (11:06:53 PM): the Collage
ana (11:06:57 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (11:07:23 PM): i want to know if i can trust you in the future
ana (11:07:37 PM): to make you believe you canasksed my uncle when im home ok
peterlee7772000 (11:07:52 PM): i  talked to your uncle
ana (11:08:09 PM): when
peterlee7772000 (11:08:14 PM): yesterday
peterlee7772000 (11:08:18 PM): your aunt too
ana (11:08:33 PM): then
ana (11:08:41 PM): then
peterlee7772000 (11:08:49 PM): i know you are a good girl
peterlee7772000 (11:09:10 PM): do you owe your aunt money?
ana (11:09:59 PM): noooooo
ana (11:10:31 PM): yoiu know the one who pay 4 my school is my aunt when i did't meet you
peterlee7772000 (11:10:52 PM): I understand that
peterlee7772000 (11:11:14 PM): but i could not explain why you did that
peterlee7772000 (11:11:27 PM): say the phase III is 48,000
ana (11:11:47 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (11:12:10 PM): maybe it was to pay back your aunt for all the tuition she paid before
peterlee7772000 (11:12:50 PM): I know that was not your idea
ana (11:13:34 PM): you know my dear to tell you i want to save money here to make you surprise that im agood wife soon ok
peterlee7772000 (11:14:00 PM): oh
ana (11:14:07 PM): i want you to be proud of me
peterlee7772000 (11:14:18 PM): please tell me
ana (11:14:22 PM): coz i want to help you some day
peterlee7772000 (11:14:39 PM): ok how?
ana (11:14:47 PM): rem. when i told you to work to help you
peterlee7772000 (11:14:55 PM): yes'
ana (11:15:23 PM): you know i can handle my self even you dont sent me money
peterlee7772000 (11:15:37 PM): i am sure you can
ana (11:16:28 PM): so dont thinf that im afterring ur money
peterlee7772000 (11:16:44 PM): but Maricel any money I sent was very painful money.  It was money by using my hip you know that
ana (11:17:16 PM): yes coz if i work on a ship i can eaned also much money ok
peterlee7772000 (11:17:20 PM): I did the best i could
peterlee7772000 (11:17:31 PM): so you will work on the ship?
ana (11:17:36 PM): yes i know that
ana (11:18:11 PM): so you want me to do that
peterlee7772000 (11:18:16 PM): no
ana (11:18:43 PM): what you want me to do now
peterlee7772000 (11:19:13 PM): This is the first time you are sharing your plans with me
ana (11:20:02 PM): do i know that you are always working w/ ur bad hip
ana (11:20:19 PM): you eaned money w/ all pain
peterlee7772000 (11:20:30 PM): yes for you
ana (11:20:43 PM): my dear
peterlee7772000 (11:20:55 PM): it was extra money
ana (11:21:10 PM): yeesssssss
peterlee7772000 (11:21:24 PM): i was going to build it up for the wedding
ana (11:21:36 PM): you if you want i work now to help you
peterlee7772000 (11:21:54 PM): how
ana (11:22:06 PM): now in cebu i well apply  my dear
ana (11:22:23 PM): i well go back to cebu
peterlee7772000 (11:22:23 PM): what kind of job Maricel?
ana (11:22:38 PM): and apply 4 any vacant job
ana (11:22:41 PM): where
ana (11:22:45 PM): im
ana (11:22:59 PM): qualified
ana (11:22:59 PM): any
peterlee7772000 (11:23:07 PM): and where will you live
ana (11:23:08 PM): as long as im qualified
peterlee7772000 (11:23:18 PM): you are qulified for hotel job
ana (11:23:27 PM): w/that job ok
ana (11:23:28 PM): dont
ana (11:23:28 PM): woory
peterlee7772000 (11:23:35 PM): ok
ana (11:23:41 PM): i can handle my self
peterlee7772000 (11:23:48 PM): i belive you
peterlee7772000 (11:24:01 PM): where will you live?
ana (11:24:19 PM): ok
ana (11:24:30 PM): any boarding house
peterlee7772000 (11:24:37 PM): not your aunt?
ana (11:24:53 PM): here
ana (11:25:23 PM): i also try w/my aunt
peterlee7772000 (11:25:35 PM): to live?
peterlee7772000 (11:29:36 PM): sorry got dc
peterlee7772000 (11:30:13 PM): did you bring your cell phone?

peterlee7772000 (11:36:17 PM): hello
ana (11:36:31 PM): babe
ana (11:36:34 PM): whty
peterlee7772000 (11:36:44 PM): are you back now
peterlee7772000 (11:37:13 PM): yes we are back
peterlee7772000 (11:37:28 PM): I am very interested in you plans
peterlee7772000 (11:37:46 PM): i got dc
peterlee7772000 (11:37:53 PM): i am back
peterlee7772000 (11:38:28 PM): may i ask how much money you have left dear?
peterlee7772000 (11:38:56 PM): me too
peterlee7772000 (11:39:15 PM): but i did not do anything
peterlee7772000 (11:39:38 PM): yes you told me that before
peterlee7772000 (11:39:44 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (11:39:49 PM): and the rest
peterlee7772000 (11:40:09 PM): ok any thing else
peterlee7772000 (11:40:47 PM): good
peterlee7772000 (11:41:16 PM): May i ask why you took all the money out?
peterlee7772000 (11:42:41 PM): did your plans change now?
peterlee7772000 (11:43:52 PM): what are your plans then
peterlee7772000 (11:44:44 PM): i want to know what u want first ok
peterlee7772000 (11:45:33 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (11:46:02 PM): yes
peterlee7772000 (11:46:39 PM): did you bring your cell phone?
peterlee7772000 (11:47:03 PM): yes
peterlee7772000 (11:48:22 PM): r u there
peterlee7772000 (11:48:55 PM): hello
For a complete message history, go to the View menu and select "View Message Archive..."

ana: yeesssssss
peterpan: i was going to build it up for the wedding
ana: you if you want i work now to help you
peterpan: how
ana: now in cebu i well apply my dear
ana: i well go back to cebu
peterpan: what kind of job Maricel?
ana: and apply 4 any vacant job
ana: where
ana: im
ana: qualified
ana: any
peterpan: and where will you live
ana: as long as im qualified
peterpan: you are qulified for hotel job
ana: w/that job ok
ana: dont
ana: woory
peterpan: ok
ana: i can handle my self
peterpan: i belive you
peterpan: where will you live?
ana: ok
ana: any boarding house
peterpan: not your aunt?
ana: here
ana: i also try w/my aunt
peterpan: to live?
peterpan: sorry got dc
peterpan: did you bring your cell phone?

peterpan: hello
ana: babe
ana: whty
peterpan: are you back now
ana: you get lost contack
peterpan: yes we are back
ana: my dear
peterpan: I am very interested in you plans
ana: where did you go
peterpan: i got dc
peterpan: i am back
ana: thanks god
ana: ok
ana: i understand
peterpan: may i ask how much money you have left dear?
ana: my dear i dont want to go home sad plss
peterpan: me too
peterpan: but i did not do anything
ana: 6,000
ana: coz i buy load 4 my
peterpan: yes you told me that before
ana: phone
peterpan: ok
peterpan: and the rest
ana: and my fare 4 here also
peterpan: ok any thing else
ana: and i eat in the ship ok
peterpan: good
ana: how are you now
peterpan: May i ask why you took all the money out?
ana: ok
ana: coz thres no ounion bank here and i think i well stay here tell you come
peterpan: did your plans change now?
ana: my dear
ana: yes coz the internet is so far i cannot chatt you
ana: my dear
peterpan: what are your plans then
ana: you want me to go back cebu my dear
ana: tell me ols
peterpan: i want to know what u want first ok
ana: plsssssss
ana: i want always get contack w/you
peterpan: ok
ana: is that ok w/ you
peterpan: yes
ana: ok
peterpan: did you bring your cell phone?
ana: yess my dear
ana: w/me
ana: now
peterpan: yes
peterpan: r u there
peterpan: hello
Yahoo! Messenger: ana has logged out. (3/25/03 11:48 PM)

On the phone what I remember was that she finally admitted that she had a total of 15,000 peso of my money [saved]  she would send it to me western union if I wanted it back.  This was a total admission she did not have to tell me and did.  That was a good sign.   She promised to go back to Cebu and get a job that would earn 3000 peso a month.  A boarding house is about 800 per month.  I figure after food there is not too much left.  

Her English is not that good, the country girls speak a lot of Bisaya it seems.  But in person or on the phone she is very good.  She seemed worried that I would tell others like in the Collage if she didn’t give the money back.  She was worried about saving face for sure.   But she did admit to everything in the end which I didn’t think she would.  I gave her a lot of chances to blame her Aunt which she didn’t do.  I think that was a positive sign.  I wonder what she thinks of me now?  Oh what tangled webs we weave when we plan again to deceive.  

At this point some of you would say dump her, others will say give a try and check more, she has learned her lesson.   I will see her in June but I will postpone the marriage.  I need to know her better as you all suggested all along.  Yes you can say I told you so.  Any way it gave you a break away from the War.

[madmal]

... in response to Cinderella and the glass slipper, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 26, 2003

Hi Peter,
I've been following your posts and all the replys. My wife, Doan, and I were reading them last night. It really sparked a lot of conversation.
With regards to her taking all the money out of the ATM, I wouldn't be worried about that. When I sent money to my wife in Vietnam she always withdrew it all immediately.
The only reason she had a bank account was so she could receive the money. She trusted herself to take care of the money far more than she trusted the bank. All the girls I know in Vietnam are the same.
The biggest problems Doan and I ever had were always regarding money. She would never ask me for it when she needed it. And would never tell me how much she needed.

Did your Fiancee ever actually answer your question about why she lied?  I read the post through but couldn't see where she answered you.
I can empathise with your plight. It's not easy ascertaining the truth when you are so far away. You are the one who has met her and spent time with her. So you are the only one who can answer the questions.

I wouldn't be so quick to say "Run for your life", But I think that you know you need to be very cautious. And I suspect this episode may have poisoned your relationship already.
It's darn hard to turn that around from the other side of the world.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do,

Mal

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Cinderella and the glass slipper, posted by madmal on Mar 27, 2003

Thanks for the reply!

I was in Sydney for 8 years and left when I was 13years old.  

She wrote a long letter telling me how sorry she was and that she would never do it again.  Her reason was she was hording money to buy a business so I would not have to send money after we are married while waiting for her visa.  The visa for US can take over a year sometimes.  She is willing to send back all the money.  

The problem is that I did meet her in Cebu first and then emailed her from the US.  When we went shopping she would not let me buy her any expensive clothes.  I wanted to buy her a bathing suit.  They are expensive; she chose the cheaper one to save me money.   Her  action totally blew me away, not the withdrawal of the atm but the inflated tuition.  Any way if we were to be married all this would not be necessary.  The tuition would not be necessary, and the business she planed to get would not be necessary.  So there is more to it than meets the eye.  I will chat with her on Sun and feel her out again then.  I know it is a part of her I know nothing about.  I either need to spend more time with her to know her more or stop the relationship.  You can imagine how sad and depressed I got when all this broke out.  But it is to be continued just follow as I trip along.  Thanks for a kind ear
Peter

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Cinderella and the glass slipper, posted by madmal on Mar 27, 2003

How's the baby, Daddy?

- Jeff

[madmal]

... in response to Hey Mal, posted by Jeff S on Mar 27, 2003

She's great! She's nearly 1 year old now. A great deal of fun.  Who needs a TV when you have a toddler.
More amusing than most of the crap on the morono-scope.

Mum and bub just spent 2 months in Vietnam, so we are trying to get her back into a normal sort of routine.

I guess I should send you a family snap for the website.

Mal

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Hey Mal, posted by madmal on Mar 31, 2003

Sounds like tons of fun. I bet you missed her for 2 months. Yes, by all means, send me a pciture. We'd love to see her!

- Jeff

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Cinderella and the glass slipper, posted by madmal on Mar 27, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Mal and Doan,

Good to see you here and I agree with your post!

I don't see a problem with the ATM issue either. In fact, it makes more sense in some cases to take the money out and hold onto it or put in a local bank, where access is much easier when needed. This is especially true if you don't live in a major city. Vandalized ATM's are not unusual. If there is only one that accepts your card, you may not have access to the money for a week or so. The only real disadvantage I see with the lady having money on her person is feeling guilty about not giving money to the many people who are probably asking her for it. If you "have a Kano," suddenly everyone becomes your best friend. If she doesn't have the money immediately available, she can say that she doesn't have any and not feel quite as guilty. What many people don't realize in the Western world is that in the Philippines, "what is yours...is mine also." The person who doesn't share or give to someone else, especially a relative, is considered selfish and a bad person. Just search the archives and see what difficulty Honey and Bear went through. My biggest problem was similar to Mal's. My wife could have been starving and she would have never asked me for money. That is great in some ways, but it can also be upsetting when you love and are concerned about your lady and her family. People die every day for the lack of a few dollars for food or medicine.

Dave H.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to ATM Issue, posted by Dave H on Mar 27, 2003

Hi Dave

I don't have a problem with the ATM either.  It was I admit some bait for redflags.  I wanted her to inform me that she was going to take out the money.  What she did was not contact me for 4 days and suddenly email me from Mindanao with a hi how are you.  I just got another letter from her explaining why she did it.  It was to horde money to buy a business so I would be proud of her later as I would not have to send her money while she is waiting for the visa.  [ it could be true and for a mixed up young girl it may have made sense to her.  Maybe she was secretly going to give it to her Mom when she left?]
All this is her idea, the inflated tuition, the hording of money, the asking for tuition that would not be necessary if we get married.  It sure sounds like a teenager getting mixed up and being stupid. I remember going shopping with her in Cebu City Mall.  I wanted to buy her a baiting suit.  They are expensive; she chose the least expensive one to save me money.  Oh Well!  I chose this Filipina originally coz she was the picture of innocents. While I was there she wanted to take the jeepney as much as possible to save on taxi fares.   This whole thing has got me stumped.  

My question to you Dave is this:

She has offered to send me back all the horded money $15,000 peso more than I thought she had.  She did not have to tell me that.  I said to her on the phone "no more secrets are there any more things I don't know about?"  She seemed to totally confess.  

I want to have her send the money to me via western union is this the correct thing to do?

One thing out of this is that I see that she really does not want to loose me.   She is not playing hard to get or have that holeyer than thou attitude anymore.  

The wedding is off for sure but I will still see her in June    
I have a date to chat with her on Sunday when she will be back in Cebu.

So Dave dats da story Peter

[Ray]

... in response to Re: ATM Issue, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 27, 2003

Hi Peter,

I was just curious if you closed that ATM account yet?

Ray

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Re: ATM Issue, posted by Ray on Mar 28, 2003

no i didn't close it

There is $3.00 in the account

I could change the pin number

I could say the card was lost and make up another card

It is not necessary to close the account

dis was my red flag account

A married friend of mine talked it over with his wife and after hearing the whole story suggested that I get over it be bigger than that and put another $200 in the account and
I will have a loyal trusting wife from then on.   If not i will loose another $200.  Oh well!!!

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: ATM Issue, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 28, 2003

That makes good economic sense. By keeping that account open, you can save a lot of time and expense next time when/if you need to send her more money.

Like I said before, $200 is really nothing in the bigger scheme of thing :-)

Ray

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Good idea!, posted by Ray on Mar 28, 2003

I am glad you agree.

To night I will be talking to her after her letter to me.

Good thing she doesn't know that I am being advised by many on any move she makes LOL

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: ATM Issue, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 27, 2003

Hi Peter,

I would have her send the money back Western Union. Tell her that business is slow and you are broke. See how she responds to that. If she sends the money back and stands by your side, it may be worth putting more effort into the relationship. If she quits writing, then you learned a cheap lesson and saved yourself a lot of future heartache.  Good Luck!

Dave H.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Well..., posted by Dave H on Mar 28, 2003

You just answered my next question we will see what happens Sunday.

[Esiang]

... in response to Re: Well..., posted by Peter Lee on Mar 28, 2003

Wish you luck Peter.....
Curiously waiting for her to send it back to you.....