Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & Sumations

[Windmill Boy]

Acknowledgements :

-- Patrick --

for  providing  this forum  for  shared  information  and  light hearted fun at times.  Thanks  for  allowing  me  to  post  my  adventures  here.  I  figure  I've  just  about  run out  of posting  priviledges  here  for  a  while  so I'll probably  go  back  into lurk mode  for the near  future.   Feel free  to group  it  all  together  and post  on the  trip report page  if  that  still  exists and you  want to.

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-- Jeff S.  Bob S.  and  now  Eric S. (naw  I'll  stick with  WB) --

Thanks  guys  for  giving  me motivation  and  information  to   try  this  endeavor.  It  sure  was  worth it

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--  Miho --

Thanks  for  giving  me the  time  of  day  and  putting  in the effort  to respond.  So  far  so  good!

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-- Thank God for  spell  check --

for all  of  my  posts except  this  one  ha ha ha  It  hopefully has  saved  me  from looking  like  a  total dufuss  somewhat.

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-- Everyone  else --

for  reading  my  story  up  to  this point  I  hope  I  haven't  bored  you  to  tears.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I  wrote  this  lengthy  journal  (45  pages  in Microsoft  Works) for  a  multitude  of  reasons.

1.) Primarily  for  myself  to  reflect  on  years  from  now.

2.) Also to  print  up  and  send to  my  mother  back  in NY  as  she is  not  Computer  Savey  but  an  avid  reader  and she  wants  to  know  what happened  more  in detail.

3.) It  was  my  turn to repay  everyone  here  with  a  trip  report.

4.) To chart Virgin territory here I  suppose.  Since there is limited  information on Japan  here.  I figured  I'd  present it  in detail  as  I  saw  it  for  anyone else  luking  out  there  and  is  interested.

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Summary  and  some  random  thoughts
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Cost:

$ 540  Airfare
$ 470  Japan Rail pass for  3  weeks
$ 490  Luggage, passport renewal,  Clothes,  and  research materials.
$ 150  Japanese  Class  books  and  a lot  of time  and  studying
--------
$ 1650 ish   pre  trip expenses

I took $2500  in Travelers  checks  for  22  days - figured  around  $100  a  day  it worked out  quite  well and  realisticaly.    I  came  back  with  about  $ 85  money  exchanged  and  $700 in uncashed travelors  Checks.  I  used  this  to  pay  $ 625  for  12  nights  in hotels on  the  credit card.  and  the rest  for developing film when I returned.  However I had the benefit/ perk of  staying  at the Four Seasons Chinzan-So Tokyo  5  nights  for  free  which  would have  been  $2000 -  $2500  probably.

Planning time == 1 year and forming  lots  of  internet  fiendhips ahead  of  time.  

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People  = very  kind  and  very  friendly  I  can't  say  enough  about  the  Japanese  people  (except maybe for  the  people  out  on the  street  in Niigata).  Though  there  might  be  some  language  barriers  to  cross  to really  get  to  know  them.  But I found  the Japanese to  be  my  kind  of  folks.  I  wouldn't  mind immersing  myself  in  their  society  for  a  while.

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Women == over all  shy  and  reserved   but  very nice  and  intelligent  if you can  find  the people  who  want  to communicate  with you.  Though  some of  them  were  apologetic, all of  the  women I arranged  to  see  spoke  good  enough English  with  me.  

My  trip  worked  out  so well because  I had  made  many arrangements  to meet  people  in almost  all of  the  cities I  went  to.  otherwise I think  my  trip would  have been a lot  lonlier  and frustrating.

I   have  tried  to communicate with asian women through  match.com   both  here  and  in Japan  with  dismall  resuts for  getting responses.  I  have  looked at other  web  sights too.  many  of  them list  very  few  Japanese to  begin  with and  I  am  very  skeptical  (chicken) to  try  them.  I  have had  the most  luck  meeting  the Japanese  through the  AOL  international  penpal  board.  just  be yourself  and don't  act  like a male  sexual  preditor  and  you will probably  have  a good  chance  of  meeting  nice  people.  I  sure  have.  You will have to be patient  and dilligent though to weed out the women who just want to play games thinking it is fun to try their English  skills for 1 or 2 letters and lets see what responses I get.

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I did  not  post any really  racy  and titilating   stories  because  basically  that did not happen on my trip.  It  was  my  goal to  see  a sizable portion  of  Japan  in  three  weeks  to  get  a  broad overview  if  the  country  and  variety.  I  was  able  to  visit 11 -  12  cities in this  time  and maybe  I  have visited  more  of  Japan  than  a  fair  amount  of  Japanese have.  2 or  3  days  in each  city  was  good  for  my  purposes  but  it  is  hard  to begin to get to know  someone well also.  I  figured  I  would  post  some  of the  cultural nuances that caught my attention instead.

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Finally  I  would  say  I  had  a great trip and I  would  encourage  more people  to  visit  Japan or  speak out  about  your  previoous  visits  there.  There  are  many  single women in Japan  who  have  a lot  to offer and are looking to meet foreigners.  You  just  have  to  find  them.

I  have  been fortunate  to meet  "The Mighty"  Miho  a  girl who  has  certainly  catched  my  attention  and  is  putting  a  considerable amount  of effort into  forming  a  good  relationship  with me  so  far also.  no  complaints   other  than our  size  difference  and  there is  nothing  that can  be  done  about  that  ha ha ha.

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Want  to look into  visiting  Japan?  Nothing  ventured  nothing  gained ---  take  a chance.

Windmill Boy

[joemc]

... in response to Japan Journal  # 20   Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003

Hi Eric,
      well done Eric, and thanks for the cost factor.
      I thought you spent a ton of money on this trip.
      Bring on all "The Mighty" pictures please.

                                             joemc

[Jimbo]

... in response to Japan Journal  # 20   Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003

Hi WB,

Good job and thanks!  Like you said that was a real journal, not just a trip report.  You'll always have the details to look up if the need arises.  You've peaked my interest - some day I hope to get there too.

Jim

[Jeff S]

... in response to Japan Journal  # 20   Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003

Several posters have suggested that Japanese women aren't interested in gaigin unless they're in a certain socio-economic class. I've not ever gotten that impression, but it may be because my travels to Japan when I was single were business related. This meant I was usually dressed in suits and ties, I had expense accounts, and also trading company people treating me to night clubs, resturaunts, etc, so the assumption might have been made. I curious if you ever got the feeling you were being sized up economically by any of the women or their families? Or did you ever get the feeling that a wouman would or wouldn't be interested in you because of your profession?

- Jeff

PS: Thanks for the acknowledgement - I'm always happy to help.

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Quick question for you Eric., posted by Jeff S on Mar 16, 2003

good  question   Jeff

some  thoughts...

I  had  a couple of  discussions  with some  girls  while I  was  there (both  in Tokyo).  They  told  me  that  there  are plenty  of  women  looking  to  latch  on  to  a  Gajin  and  it  was  easy  to  find  them  especially in  the  Rypongi  area  (I never  visited  there) or  else  through classified  ads.  

While  I  have  seen personal ads from women  (some of whom  are whacked  out  of  their  gourds)  looking  for  men who  make  100,000's of  thousands  of  dollars  and  own  houses  and  boats  and  Jets.  I  have  also  seen  ads (though mostly  from  Japanese women living in America  or  Asian  Americans  of  other  ethnicities)  who  earn  a very  good  living ($ 100,000 +) and  want to  date  men  who  earn  in their  socio  economic  level  or  higher  which  is  understandable  I  suppose.

Yes  some  of  the  women  in  Japan are  looking  for the  well  to do.  but  I  think  others   just  want  the  different non Japanese experience  that only  a  Gajin  can offer compared to a Japanese boyfriend.

My  Chinese American coworker Audrey based on her Hong Kong  experiences suggested  to  me   and  I think it is  relatively  true  that  maybe  1/2  of  the  Japanese / Asian  women  are  old  fashioned  and  traditional minded  while  the  other  half  are very modern  and liberated keeping   up  with  the  latest  trends.

Age  has  a factor  too  Many Japanese women might want to test  the  waters  in dating  Gajins  but  maybe  the  younger  ones  would  never  go through  with  marriage   due  to  family  acceptence  of  the  non  Japanese.  I think  though,  that as   many  women enter  their  30's  and  find  themselves  single still  or have  had  failed  previous  relationships possibly.  They decide that  they  want  to  live  their  lives  their  way and  date / marry   forigners  if  they  want  regardless  of  family   acceptence.  By  that  time  the  families  may be  happy that  the  woman  has  found somebody  period.

It  is  interesting  that  I  have  had  discussions  with  a  few  of  the japanese women my  age  - 37.  and  they  have pointed  out  that the  new  young  generation  18 -  25  are  very  radically  different from them  and  they  don't  understand many of them  or  relate  to  their  culture  and lifestyle.

Japan  has  been in  the  slumps economically   for  the  last  10  years  or  so.  So maybe the women who are interested in westerners are just  more  realistic  about  finding  happiness with a  westerner  now a days  than   setting  their sights  very  high for  the  certain  economic level.  

In  my  case  concerning  my profession  I  think  most  women / people  were  quite  interested  and  respected  what I  do  once I  could  explain  what  exactly a  pastry chef is.  While they may not like our sweet tooth styled western pastries  Women still almost universally  like sweets  and  dessert  and  the  indulgance  that  surrounds  the  creation and  consumption  of  them.   No  one  ever  asked me  how  much do you make  as  a  pastrty  Chef.

I  handed  out  65  Business cards  with  my  e-mail  address and occupation listed.  Though  I got  only  1  response  with only  1  letter sent to  me.  I  don't  think it  was  due  to  my  profession though.  I just  think it  was  too  radical  an idea that anyone  would  respond  to a  business card for anything else  than    business  purposes let  alone  forming  a  casual  penpal  friendship.  Or they were  too  shy to  respond o not interested.

Some  women  (like  Miho) are  apparently  attracted to  Westerners  (like I  am  attracted  almost  exclusively  to Asians)  while  others  are  not  looking  to meet  Westerners but just bump into them and that is who they wind up with.  As I understand  it  Miho  is  not  overly  close  to  her  family  so I  don't  think that is a major  issue  of  acceptance  should  it  develop  to  that  point.

I  am  hoping  to  see if  Miho can  visit  here this  summer  for  a week.  But  other  than  going  to school  here or  getting married  (a little to early  for  that)  I think our  best  chances  of  spending  some  time  togther to  get  to  know  each other  better  is if  I  try  to  move  to  Japan.  I like  that idea even If I  never  met  Miho  so no  big  issue  there.    I   told her i'm  interested un moving to Japan -- She  said  for  how  long?  I  said a  year,  10  years,  the  rest of  my  life I  don't  know it  depends  If I  like  it.  She  seemed a  little  hesitant in her reply.  I said Jokingly  Why  do you  want to  move here?  She  said  yes  yes  yes    it  had  been a  dream of  hers  for  a long  time  to  live in  America / abroad.  I  asked  her  why --  She  said  because  of  the  many  cultures  that  we have while  Japan is  1  culture  1  mindset.  

Does  a  red  flag  arise  - possibly  but I doubt it. I think  she  has  visited  America  before  and  she  has  been  to Italy and  maybe  more places.  She  wants  to  visit  Calgary  and  the  other  day  she  mentioned  Ireland  and  Scotland.  There  is  nothing  wrong  with  wanting  to try something new.  She  knows  that  I  am  not  rich  but  she  is  not  raking it  in  as  a  care giver  either I  would  imagine.

I had  to  work this morning  and  I  checked my  e-mail quickly  when I  woke  up.  Though I  saw  here  online I did not  have  time  to  talk  with her.  But  she  called  me  this morning a  few  minutes  later as I  was  shaving  and  we  talked  for  10 minutes.  She also  IM ed me  just  before  I wrote  this essay just  to say hi quickly and  that  she had  made a  stew  but  she  had  to  leave  now  to  eat it.  I'm not sure if  she see's us  as  more  than good friends for now so far.  But I  seem  to  have  to  be taking  the  lead  here  somewhat.  As  far as I  can  tell she  hasn't  had  a  boyfriend  for the last 7 years though I think. And  she  seems  intersted and is  putting  in an   equal  effort.

Status I didn't find to be a big issue.  Either the Japanese women  want to make the effort to  talk  with  you   or  they  will  remain  shy  and  isolated.  Once  you  talk  with the  ones  willing  to  talk  with you  you  can easily determine their  motives  and  intentions  I think.  If  Asian / Japanese women  are  your interest I  still  think  you have  a  very  good  chance  at  finding  a good  woman.

Windmill boy  

 

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Quick question for you Eric., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 17, 2003

Hi Eric,

I pulled out the trusty old "Magic 8 Ball" this morning and asked it a few questions.

Q. Does a red flag arise with Miho wanting to live in America?
A. My Sources Say No

Q. Does Miho have a romantic interest in Eric?
A. Yes Definately!

Just as I suspected! Good luck Mr. Windmill Boy!

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to Quick question for you Eric., posted by Jeff S on Mar 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Jeff,

I was wondering the same thing. I was thinking....not all Japanese are wealthy executives. I often read about the fierce competition starting very young in Japanese schools and later in business. How mothers feel like they are failures if their children are not extremely successful or marry a top executive. I have read where many Japanese men of less means are looking overseas to find brides who will accept them. I think that many of us assume that this is fact and all of Japan is like that. But what about the common man, the guy who drives the taxi, works at the fish market, the shoe store, etc. Surely not every woman is holding out for the CEO of a major corporation. There would be a huge surplus of unmarried women in Japan. There must be many women who have less high standards. Naturally some women wish to marry their own. But, I understand that some Western gaijin are actually considered very high in status, higher than non-Japanese Asians, and much higher than "unclean workers."

This is an interesting page about status among gaijin: http://www.chronicsite.com/nihon/status.html

Dave H.

[Bob S]

... in response to Fact or Myth?, posted by Dave H on Mar 16, 2003

Re: the web site,
It's funny 'cuz it's true!
LMAO!

[Dave H]

... in response to OMG!, posted by Bob S on Mar 18, 2003

Hi Bob,

Thanks for verifying. LOL I wasn't sure of the accuracy, but found it interesting.

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to Japan Journal  # 20   Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003

Hi Eric,

Thanks! I really enjoyed your trip report. Your trip was well planned to allow you to cover much of Japan, in a short amount of time. Don't worry about Miho...these little Asian ladies grow on you! ;o)))

Dave H.