Secret Asian Man

[Dave H]

"Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers

"Secret Asian Man" Parody by Rice Cube & Watt Daddy

There's a man who eats a lot of ginseng
Karaoke bars show that he can't sing
With every duck he bakes
A concubine he takes
Odds are he will find some more tomorrow

CHORUS
Secret Asian Man
Secret Asian Man
You've made some chicken dumplings
To add to your chow mein.
(Ah so!)

Beware of foreign faces you may find
A foreign face can steal your concubines
With every duck he bakes
A concubine he takes
Odds are he will find some more tomorrow

CHORUS

Plotting against the evil gwai-lo one day
Stealing all his computer secrets next day
Oh, make a superior chip
While eating fried sheep lips
You'll take over the stock market tomorrow

CHORUS

[Nathan]

... in response to Secret Asian Man, posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003

Whoa! Have your fun if  you want, but I'll have you know that the state department owes me a lot of favors so
your budding song writing career is about to get squashed!
They owe me plenty- the reasons for that are my own business, but suffice it to say that in clandestine combat
in Slobovia I dispatched almost 9,000 bad boys myself with my Swiss army knife. I received a special medal from Pres. Clinton for liquidating over 600 mad boyfriends and husbands of very big haired chicks he was boinking.
So watch out buddy!

  And remember...I've got your number! I know the SECRET CODE!

Nathan

[Howard]

... in response to Secret Asian Man, posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003

Hammy

Too F'in' funny

LOL

H

[Dave H]

... in response to Concubines and Fried Sheep Lips??? LOL!!..., posted by Howard on Feb 8, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi H,

I like the "fried sheep lips" line too! I usually eat that inside a Scottish meat pie. LOL

D Hammy

[Ray]

... in response to Fried Sheep Lips..., posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003

:-)

[Howard]

... in response to Fried Sheep Lips..., posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003

[This message has been edited by Howard]


Fried Sheep Lips Pie... HEHEHEHEHOOOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA!!!

You still kill me old pal!

Keep the Faith

FSL... LOLOLOLOL

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Secret Asian Man, posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003

Dave

That  was great!

But  don`t  you  have  too  much  free time  on your  hands  ha ha ha.  

Vacume  your  couch  cushions  and  take  your  wife  out  for  dinner  with  all  of the  change  that  you  find  there.

Okay  Okay  upgrade  from  Mcdonalds  and  throw  in $ 20  and  take  her  to DUFFS ---  gotta  love  a place  that  has  a  conveyor  belt that  brings  food  to  you  on the  buffet.  do  they  have any of those  by  you  or only  cuban food?

Windmill boy

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Secret Asian Man, posted by Windmill Boy on Feb 8, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hey WD,

I wish I could claim credit but I didn't write that one. All I did was cut and paste. I'm thinking about writing a Filipino version. I liked the name "Rice Cube," who was one of the  "Secret Asian Man" authors. Also, I really enjoyed the lines "Karaoke bars show he can't sing" and "A foreign face can steal your concubines." )

Duff's no more...actually I think they closed not from lack of customers, but rather because many of those Cuban boys can eat! They are not so much into vegetables or rice, bread and "fillers" when it is all-you-can-eat. They go for the seafood and meat. It had to be hard for Duff's to make much of a profit here. You're right, there is plenty of Cuban food here! Believe it or not, the local Cuban supermarket chain sells San Miguel beer. To all of you Filipinos living in the Philippines...we call San Miguel "imported" beer (good stuff)and pay a lot for it. Last I checked, around $12 US for a 12 pack. I laughed at what they try to pass off as good "imported" American beer in the Philippines...I won't mention any brand names as not to offend anyone. We call it "piss beer" here, because it's cheap and that's what it tastes like...I think. LOL

We do have a sushi bar a block from my house that has a long oval water-filled canal inside. Food floats past you on little boats and you pick what you like out of the water. Probably common in California, but very unusual here in La Florida. Kind of reminds me of the fair with the little floating plastic yellow ducks that you pluck up to get a prize. Really cool!

Dave H.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Secret Cuban Man, posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003

Unfortunately it's illegal in Orange County but OK in LA & San Diego County. (Storage temperatures of uncooked food rules or something) The one I know in LA (Little Tokyo) is called Frying Fish (it's rike birds frying south for the winter) and the sushi plates are transported around the room on a conveyor belt. There's also another one in Pacific Beach (San Diego County) at the end of Garnet St, I believe. (Ray, ever been there?) It's next to one of the best Thai resturaunts I've ever eaten at outside Thailand (and I've tried a lot of them.) So the counties both North and South of us allow it, but the nannys here say its a nono. I have a friend with three sushi bars, two kappo resturaunts and two yaki-tori bars who's been trying to open a coveyor sushi place in OC for years. No ruck so far.

I also crack up at Japanese ordering the two most common American beers in Japan paying extra snd thinking they're having some major treat when their home brews are FAR better.

- Jeff

[Nathan]

... in response to Conveyor belt sushi.., posted by Jeff S on Feb 8, 2003


 You can find Conveyor belt sushi around Portland- in Beaverton I think. Local beers in Asia? Well there are some that are not too bad perhaps compared to the mass produced American counterparts, but I have yet to taste any that would compare to many of the micro-brews we enjoy in the US Northwest.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Conveyor belt sushi.., posted by Nathan on Feb 8, 2003

I gain about 20 lbs every time I get near Portland - the brews there are the best.

- Jeff