Well... I am back in the states.
Of course, I left my heart in Panabo City!
I am going over everything in my head and preparing my trip report, but in the mean while I just wanted to reflect and wax poetic a bit 
The "Old Guard" here has known many of these things all along, but for me--even though some might consider me part of the "Old Guard" here --a lot is shiny and new. I see some new handles here, so hopefully the new guys will benefit from my expiriences, like I have benefitted from so many others over the years. For those who don't know where I stand on certain issues... you'll find out LOL
One of the things that really knocked me for a loop is the negative perception of Americans by Filipinos. The "Company Line" states that we are loved there, but that isn't really very close to the truth. Yes, Filipinos are willing to give us the benefit of the doubt, we get that for simply being American, but there is caution that lies close to the surface, mostly due to the one or two bad apples that have given Filipinos reason to question all American's motives. Personally, this irritates me. My irritation is not directed at them, but at those who create the bad press for us--the guys with honorable intentions!
I have long been an advocate, an unpopular one at times, of not meeting a zillion women on one trip. I can't see how you can spend quality time getting to know someone, while looking at your watch to make sure you're not late for the next one. Two, I could see. If you can't narrow it down enough with preliminary communication, especially the way the internet has exploded over there, you're doing something wrong in my opinion. But, that's me. Everyone has their own process. I try not to judge. I just speak as my conscience dictates 
One of the stories heavily making the rounds is LV's scam. No, I don't think this guy is original enough to have started it, but he's the name we know through Ken. In fact, LV is visiting, or so he has promised, a friend of Gerlie's when he returns to the Philippines in February or March. I about CHOKED when Gerlie told me!!! I had a long talk with her friend Eva and admitted that, while I do not know the whole story, the facts are pretty clear. He is married, which he supposedly does not deny. Personally, I cannot fathom going through all that trouble to get laid! Then again, I am just across the bridge from Windsor where prostitution is legal LOL But, I digress... Anyway, Eva is so desperately searching for Mr Right, that she is buying whatever LV is selling hook, line and sinker! I just advised her to be careful and to get him to take her to Paradise Island Resort, so at least she would get a nice vacation out of it, if nothing else 
LOL
See that's part of the problem too. I, like most of you here, am a good guy. Eva has made Gerlie quite upset, more than once, telling her I am just like all the rest, which I am NOT. Now that Gerlie and her family have met me and find me to be honorable and sincere, that will make it easier for the next guy. If he's a good guy, GREAT! But, what if the next guy is a scammer? Eva and a few of the others checked me out from top to bottom. The result was that I'm okay. That's great for Gerlie and I, but could it make a door easier to open for someone that shouldn't be allowed entrance? Even with everyone approving of me, there are still those who have their doubts.
There was a party we were invited to on Saturday night. My sinuses were acting up something awful but, I went anyway. After about an hour, my head was KILLING me! I mean I was in PAIN! Gerlie noticed that I wasn't quite myself and asked what was wrong. I told her what was up and she asked if I wanted to go back to Little Panay and rest. I told her that I really felt terrible, but that I didn't want to offend anyone since they were so gracious to invite me in the first place. She said they would understand and that she would just explain to her Nanay what was up and then we would sneak off.
On the way out, the guest of honor arrived. The party was for her cousin's 22nd brithday. Not wanting to offend, we stayed, sang Happy Birthday, had some food and then made our exit. We grabbed a Jeepney back to Little Panay, I took some medication and a long shower.
After the shower, the medicine kicked in and I started to feel a little better. I wandered into the front room to find Gerlie, Nanay, three aunts, Her youngest brother Lowell and Nephews Brian and Jayruse all sitting and chatting.
The kids started playing a game which consisted of spinning a bottle and whoever it pointed to had to ask me a question in English. If it pointed to me, I could ask anyone that I chose from the group a question. During the game Gerlie and Aunt Dede disappeared.
Later as Gerlie tucked me in for sleep , I asked her where she went. She said she was just talking to her Aunt. Feeling that something wasn't quite right I pressed a bit. She confessed that she walked in on someone, involved in conversation, who didn't buy that I felt sick and was the one who wanted to leave the party. Not knowing Gerlie had walked in, it was said that this person felt it was actually Gerlie who wanted to leave, because she was afraid that I would fall in love with her cousin! Where the F&*% did THAT come from??? Were they questioning Gerlie's ability to keep me interested or my character??? Was it simple "Crab Mentality"? I don't know, but I take for what it's worth. Nothing. I didn't let it bother me too much because those that matter to me, Gerlie and her Family, knew the truth. But I still wonder how someone could be told the truth and come up with that fantasy!
I guess I take this all too personally sometimes, but it bothers me that I have to prove myself because others have proven themselves to be disingenuous, but I guess it's the same all over. I have no problem giving those that matter the opportunity to get to know me. In fact, I welcome their inquiries. I will, after all, become part of their family I just think it sucks that I am automaticly in defense mode, because of other's misdeeds.
This is how it might be for those of you at the begining of your journey. So don't take it too personally and remember that you're representing more than yourself when you visit. Good OR bad
Well... the nervous energy is wearing off and I am exhausted after a 29hr trek, more than half way across the world! Your thoughts are welcomed! I will share more of mine as time progresses
Oh... Yes, Mares... it WAS an Engagement ring Her family approved and I will now start the K-1 Process! Hopefully it won't be too long before I see my Mahal again
Keep the Faith!
H
