Question about...questions! :)

[NateD]

This question may be one of the dumbest that I've ever posted here...but at the same time, I don't know that there can ever truly be a dumb question.

Anyhow, I've been writing to a few ladies now, and generally when I ask a serious question, such as one about marriage (i.e. "how do you see the husband and wife's roles in marriage), I'll ask her the question, but I don't generally put my own thoughts in that same letter.

On the one hand, to the part of me that was raised to be honest and respectful, this screams of rudeness.  But there's also the part of me that doesn't want my pen pals to write what they think I want to hear.  So I guess my question is, is it all right to ask a question and not give my own personal beliefs and thoughts on the matter in that same letter?  Or should I go ahead and give my own thoughts?

Thanks,
NateD

[shadow]

... in response to Question about...questions! , posted by NateD on Dec 16, 2002

Ask away. But if you give your opinion on the answer with the question, don't expect an honest reply. If interested in you, many of these girls are going to tell you whatever they think you want to hear, whether it is true or not.

Another thing to keep in mind is, in many cases they will just refuse to answer you at all. You can ask a simple yes or no question five times without an answer. They will ignore it completely. It may be something totally irrelevant such as what is their favorite color.

I have no explaination whatsoever for this behaviour. Maybe some of the filpinas could enlighten you.

Larry.

[Mita]

... in response to Ask, but don't answer., posted by shadow on Dec 17, 2002

Larry,
You certainly met some ditzy Filipinas!
I am a straightforward person.  You can expect an honest answer EVERYTIME from this Filipina.

[shadow]

... in response to Re: Ask, but don't answer., posted by Mita on Dec 17, 2002

I knew that!!  

Larry.

[Mita]

... in response to Question about...questions! , posted by NateD on Dec 16, 2002

Go ahead and ask. Make your communications, either by writing or phone calls, as spontaneous as possible.  You will only get as much of the other person as you are willing to give out.
If you want to hold back your own thoughts before you have your penpals, that's alright too.

[outwest77]

... in response to Question about...questions! , posted by NateD on Dec 16, 2002

[This message has been edited by outwest77]

You cant see much about compatibility in writing,
the magic is spending time together, besides you never know who is reading the letters, and it takes so long to go back to the phils and get to you, how are you going to ask questions and get them answered,
   Most nowdays do yahoo messenger, webcam etc, and phone before meeting, its more real, you cant fake with a webcam, You could accomplish more in
a few sessions on yahoo messenger than you could writing for 6 months. Then again some of the girls in the cafes are players, but so are a lot who write letters. i used to write letters and its a great way to supplement the internet and phone sending pics or cards i guess but. to me its so darn slow i guess im spoiled by the internet.

The REal magic, or proof of the pudding is in meeting, Many of the guys on the board have posted that they spent the whole trip meeting many many penpals and some of them are too shy, some bring 10 friends and want to mooch off them or borrow money, some seemed too immature in person, etc etc etc, the ones that are not compatible would have easily possibly seemed like gems in letters, its easy to fool someone in a letter also, if the girl is a good writer, but then how do you tell her personality in a letter, sense of humor, etc etc,

Thats why writing is a waste of time, its like a fantasy world where they can seem like the one when you waste 6 months on some nice words in a letter and a nice picture, but then you meet her and the chemistry is not there, to me its better to corrrespond on the internet with a bunch of girls, then talk to them on the phone for a while, to see if you like the way they interact with you, and then go meet them all.

Just my 2c

[shadow]

... in response to To me writing is a waste of time, posted by outwest77 on Dec 17, 2002

Although writing can be a very good tool, it should not be relied upon as the predominant method.

Although some people DO make it work this way, I believe it decreases the odds of success dramatically. There is NO substitute for time spent together.

Just my opinion.

Larry.

[donb2222]

... in response to Question about...questions! , posted by NateD on Dec 16, 2002

Hi Nate
 Do not include your own opinions.  I believe that many, if not most, will try to tell you what they think you want to hear.  Another problem is that many Filipinas will simply ignore any questions that they do not like or understand.
Also, try to keep the language simple, and do not use any slang.  Most Filipinas do not speak English as well as we are sometimes led to believe.
While I was in the Phils I was always surprised to see how difficult it was to read the letters that Filipinas receive.
Too many guys do not take the time to write a letter that is easy to read, and spelled correctly.

Good Luck,

Don

[Carr]

... in response to Question about...questions! , posted by NateD on Dec 16, 2002

...so you don't have to answer your own question. Just give them your thoughts about the subject when they asked you back.