Pen Pal Questions!

[Wolverine]

This past October I was fortunate enough to be able to visit the Philippines on a trip visiting missions in several locations and, quite honestly, at the end of that time I wanted to stay! I thought the majority of the people were great and the majority of the women that I met and spoke with would make very good, decent wives.

Although I did not get close with any filipinas during my stay I did have a chance to learn about them as well as the Filipino culture a little bit. My visit confirmed my initial thought prior to my visit that if I wished to have a warm, caring woman as a spouse that a good Filipina would be a fine choice.

So, now I am in the process of writing email and "real" letters to several filipinas and it has been enjoyable (except for the occassional $ request from a relative stranger). I thought since I am new to this whole thing I would ask a few questions of all of you for your input....so here goes....

First, if you are corresponding with a mature and understanding filipina is it a problem if you are corresponding with more than her? Isn't it just an accepted fact that both parties in the early stages are getting to know several people in an effort to find a good match?

Second, if after 2 or 3 months, you thought there might be someone special that you liked to correspond with, would you advise to continue corresponding with others as well and not making any decisions until you were able to meet people and spend time with them IN PERSON?

Third, what tips\ideas would you give someone who is early in the letter writing process as far as finding someone who genuinely wishes to find a good marriage partner rather then someone who wishes to find someone to provide for a trip to the US (this is not meant as a commentary of any type)?

Well, I would appreciate any constructive input on these questions. Thank you for your time.

Wolverine    

 

[Nathan]

... in response to Pen Pal Questions! , posted by Wolverine on Dec 19, 2002

ONe way to weed out the greencard sharks is to suggest from the start that you are considering relocating to the Philippines and that you would consider this a favor to the girl also so that she does not need to be too far from her family. With no prospect of a ticket stateside....well the green card girls won't see you as much of a prospect...the others may see you as wonderfully considerate.
I'm sure there are a lot of ideas about this, but I know this one to work in some cases.

Good luck,

Nathan

[Mita]

... in response to Pen Pal Questions! , posted by Wolverine on Dec 19, 2002

You sound like a sensible person.  Good luck on your search for a partner.  
I think it's okay if you are corresponding with more than just 1 woman.  The only time it wouldn't be alright in my opinion,  was when you both started getting serious about the other and gone "steady"
If you have found someone special to correspond with, why would you look for anyone else?  You can always have penpals without getting involved - I think that's the safer route until you can meet them in person and make a realistic choice.
I suggest finding someone who has a maturity level closer to your own.  It doesn't matter what age she is.  In the Philippines, I've met a lot of young women (college students) who surprised me with their maturity.  I would also suggest finding someone who has her own means of livelihood - no matter how little.  There are a lot of women like this in the Philippines.  It indicates a lot about a woman's personality and character.  In the Philippines, these stronger women are also the ones who will have difficulty finding a mate.