I wonder... Why do guys look?

[Tjien]

I know that guys like to look at attractive people, and when it happens frequently he either thinks she's 1.) dropdead gorgeous or 2.) he simply fancies her. (Please correct me if I'm wrong!) At least, that's what I *think* =)

Now, I'm a bit puzzled by my current situation. I never had any reason to feel ugly, in fact, people often told me that I belong(ed) to the "attractive"-category... But lately, I've been suffering from a (temporary) case of severe eczema on my face. It could've been anywhere, but it chose my face... (I don't have it anywhere else on my body.)

I feel downright unattractive, even ugly. When I look in the mirror, the only thing I see are red (big, small) spots all over my face. They're just red, sometimes a bit swollen, but not to the extent that you can't see what I would look like without them. There are days where I want to stay in my bed and never come out, it's horrible...

However, there is one guy who still glances at me. Whenever I look in his direction, he looks away. He's great to talk to, we always have great fun, but still I wonder: how can he look at me when I have these red spots on my face?

I don't look the way I used to, with clear skin... Does it matter though?

Thanks for taking your time to read this =)

Tjien

[Mita]

... in response to I wonder... Why do guys look?, posted by Tjien on Dec 2, 2002

Shallow men do but those with more maturity and sense will look further and get to know a woman's heart.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: I wonder... Why do guys look?, posted by Mita on Dec 4, 2002

We're hard wired that way. Don't take offense. Don't assume that if a man looks, that makes him shallow, with little maturity and sense. There's a great new book out called "Why Men Don't Listen, and Women Can't Read Maps." It goes into detailed explanations many of the common gender behaviors. In fact it points out that women look at men just as much, if not more, than men look at women, they just don't get caught as much because of better peripheral vision and more ability to multi-task. Modern American feminists seem to expect men to act like women as if that's some preferable condition. Millions of years of evolution has made us (men and women) different, and there's little chance much will change in the next few hundred generations or so.

- Jeff S.

[Mita]

... in response to Re: Re: I wonder... Why do guys look?, posted by Jeff S on Dec 4, 2002

No offense taken.  I should have made myself clearer that when it came to lifetime commitments, men would look deeper than the surface. As humans, we would certainly choose a partner whose appearance doesn't turn our stomachs each time we open our eyes.   Women are not different from men that way.

[Jimbo]

... in response to I wonder... Why do guys look?, posted by Tjien on Dec 2, 2002

I'll bet it was Ray!  He LIKES ugly women -LOL!!

Jim

[Tjien]

... in response to How can he look?, posted by Jimbo on Dec 2, 2002

Ahaha, where can I meet this guy?!?!

LOL

Tjien

[Ray]

... in response to How can he look?, posted by Jimbo on Dec 2, 2002

Did I ever say I liked ugly women Jimbo? No, I just recommend that 'other' guys seriously consider finding an ugly woman for a wife. But that doesn't include me! (LOL!)

Seriously though, to me there are a lot more important characteristics to a woman than outward beauty alone. Physical beauty is fine, but it's not at the top of my list. It may be perfectly instinctual for man to tend to choose a mate based on physical attraction, but the guys who can really look beyond that will do much better in the long haul, IMHO.

That's one reason that I personally don't care for those Internet sites that sell addresses. The girl's photo is the primary selling feature and I'm afraid that too many guys fall for a photo instead of the lady's character. But of course, as always, I could be wrong :-)

Ray

[Tjien]

... in response to Who told you that?, posted by Ray on Dec 2, 2002

I guess it has to do with age as well. The older you get, the more you appreciate someone's "inner beauty". The reason I'm insecure about this, is because well, we're both 18 (= critical age).

Tjien

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Who told you that?, posted by Tjien on Dec 3, 2002

Hi Tjien,

As a father who raised 3 girls, I think the critical age for girls is around 14 (boys 13). If you have made it to 18 without getting pregnant, without any drug or alcohol problems, without being arrested, without getting kicked out of school, without attempting suicide, and with a positive outlook on life, then your on your way.

Your temporary medical condition is nothing compared to all the more serious disabilities or diseases that could befall a young lady of your age, so count your blessings and enjoy your life while you are still young. Believe me, you'll look back on these times 10 years from now and smile about it.

A suggestion: If this guy is great to talk to, why don't you just ask him what he sees when he looks at you. If he only sees your skin condition, then forget about him. If he sees something inside of you that he is attracted to, then just maybe this one is a keeper...

Ray

[Dave H]

... in response to Critical Age, posted by Ray on Dec 3, 2002

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Thanks Ray!

That's what I wanted to say, but couldn't put into words. ) "If this guy is great to talk to, why don't you just ask him what he sees when he looks at you. If he only sees your skin condition, then forget about him. If he sees something inside of you that he is attracted to, then just maybe this one is a keeper..."

Hi Tjien,

Hang in there! You will get through this temporary condition and have a deeper understanding of yourself and others. You are much more than your skin surface. Anything that's important is on the inside. I was just wondering if you know the possible cause of your condition. Stress, food allergies, new laundry detergent? Did you recently move away from home to begin college? I hope that you are in much better spirits soon.

Dave H.

[Jimbo]

... in response to Who told you that?, posted by Ray on Dec 2, 2002

Hi Ray,

Actually I agree with you, except that I do like the address selling sites because they bring in people who wouldn't have thought of it otherwise, like me.

hmmm... what's with these SD Bolts?
Jim

[Ray]

... in response to 8-4 !!?, posted by Jimbo on Dec 2, 2002

They have a new coach this year and now they actually have that hunger to win. Last year they lost all of their close games but they have done pretty well in those close ones this year. But please don't ask what happened in Miami last week... :-)

So Jimbo, who do you pick to make it to San Diego in January?

Ray

[Jimbo]

... in response to Bolts?, posted by Ray on Dec 2, 2002

vs New England.

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear :O)

Jim

[Matthew]

... in response to Philly, posted by Jimbo on Dec 2, 2002

Nice call Jimbo!!I have gotten Joy into football.She knows alot of the NE players and she loves Tom Brady.Thinks Brady is gwuapo.Then again she thinks Bledsoe is gwuapo too!Joy arrived here last Nov and the Patriots went on the 12 game win streak.My lucky charm!!She didn't know what I was like when the Patriots loose till the 4th game this season.It's not pretty.In her expert opinion the Pats will win the East because they have "home court" advantage next 3 out of 4.Hope she is right!!!!!

Have a nice trip to the RP.Happy Holidays.

tito Matt

[Jimbo]

... in response to NE, posted by Matthew on Dec 3, 2002

Thanks Matt,

Sally likes football too.  She'll predict the winner and watch a whole game with me.  This week she called the Buffalo game.  I hope Joy is right - Tennessee should be the tough one!

Jim