age differences

[chevy]

What do the phillipine women think of as an acceptable age difference?
What is too much? 20 years too much? Are they more accepting than the latinas?

[Ray]

... in response to age differences, posted by chevy on Oct 19, 2002

How old are you and what age range are you considering for a woman?

I think most Filipinas would prefer a man closer to their own age, but are often willing to consider fairly large age differences. Their priority is often finding a “nice guy”, one who will treat them with dignity and respect, and accept them as they are.

Marriages with large age differences can and do work, but the chances for a successful long-term relationship are diminished somewhat. Personally, I wouldn’t want to marry someone who is younger than my oldest child.

I think a good guideline for setting a minimum age for a younger woman would be (1/2 your age) + 7 years. Anything younger and you’re pushing your luck IMO.

Ray

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: age differences, posted by Ray on Oct 20, 2002

N/T

[chevy]

... in response to Re: age differences, posted by Ray on Oct 20, 2002

why are a lot of the ladies listing age ranges of men between 30-65? A lot of them are in their 20's. Are they being honest or casting a wide net? I'm not interested in someone that young. I'm 44. 30-35 is what I am looking at

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: age differences, posted by chevy on Oct 21, 2002

chevy,

I’m guessing a little here, but I think it’s a combination of things. First, the majority of the men writing these ladies are usually in their 40’s or above. If the ladies have previously listed themselves with an age preference for a man in their 20’s or early 30’s, then there’s a good chance that they didn’t get much of a response, so maybe they revised their requirements for a second or third shot at it.

I haven’t looked at the sites selling addresses in a while, but I noticed in the past that on some sites the ladies tend to list a larger range of age preferences. Perhaps the people on those sites encourage the ladies to use a wider range in their preferences so they will have better success, or perhaps for economic reasons since most of their customers tend to be older men. The bottom line is that if the ladies are too picky regarding their preferences for age, divorced status, religion, smoking and drinking habits, etc, then the sites won’t sell as many addresses. I have also noticed that some other sites would have a lot of ladies listed with much stricter criteria for what they would accept.

Another factor to consider is that in general, Asian women seem to be much more comfortable with the idea of a husband that is much older than them. These marriages with large age differences are much more common in Asian societies from what I’ve observed.

Also, in the Philippines, a single woman is considered a prime candidate for “old maid” status if she isn’t married by the age of 30 or so. If she’s already past 35-40, then there aren’t that many Filipino men who would consider marrying her.

I think the age range that you’re looking at is very reasonable and you should be able to attract a lot of responses from that age group. But I would never absolutely rule out anyone outside of your desired range because you never know who might show up. A lot of times you’ll write to a certain lady and then find out that she passed your letter along to a friend or relative, so why not keep your options open just in case?

One more thing to consider. Be VERY wary of any Filipina ladies who list their status as “divorced” or “widowed”. There is no legal divorce in the Philippines, so some of the ladies may be stretching the truth a little just to give themselves a chance.

Ray

[greg]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: age differences, posted by Ray on Oct 21, 2002

[This message has been edited by greg]

as Single, Unmarried". Some Pinays won't tell You the truth about her status until its tooo late. I found out she was married after her Visa was approved, then I had to Cancell. Guys and Gals Be Veeeeeeeeery Careful in your search for Love and Happiness aboard(AM lie to Pinays about their status toooo, sooooo Filipinas be careful).  greg

[greg]

... in response to "Be very wary of any Pinays who lis..., posted by greg on Oct 22, 2002

Single, or Unmarried."

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: age differences, posted by Ray on Oct 21, 2002

Ray,
 I've noticed the same thing you mentioned about the wide age preferences of some ladies being isolated to particular agencies while women listed with other agencies are looking for a husband much closer in age.   There is one I have seen where practically all the young twenty somethings are willing to marry up to 55 or 60 or even older.   That just doesn't mesh with what I have heard these women say is their first choice in real life.  I agree that they are probably encouraged to stretch the age gap by the agency because agency owners know that most of their potential clients will be older men.   You can't really blame them (the agency) for making their product (addresses not the women!) look better to the customer.  

 OK, I'll admit that Filipinas, while, in my experience, preferring a man no more than 10yrs her senior, are very much more willing to compromise for the right man if he does come along.

 SteveG

[Carl]

... in response to Age differences, posted by SteveG on Oct 21, 2002

[This message has been edited by Carl]

You are correct in your last statement for sure.
Many of my wifes friends who have met us here and in the philippines, tell her, "help me find a man like your husband".
WHY?  because they like the way I treat my wife. they are from 22 to 40 in age. As I said in my post on the 19th; If the real love is there, then they ignore the age differance.
Of course there are the ones who are only looking to get over here, I am talking about the ones who really are looking for real love and want to be treated as a queen.
Two of her local friends(from the Philippines) married near their own age, have been divorced. I am just telling my experiance. You guys take it from here, I have said my 2Cents worth.
Carl

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: age differences, posted by Ray on Oct 20, 2002

Isn't that the old Arab formula for the perfect age for a wife, half your age plus seven? I heard it from a middle eastern man years ago.

- Jeff S.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: age differences, posted by Jeff S on Oct 21, 2002

Hi Jeff,

I don't know the source of that formula, but I've heard it over the years.

Personally, I wouldn’t consider that the “perfect” age, but the “minimum”. It does make sense, because it allows for a greater age difference as you get older. A 10-year difference could have a much larger impact if you’re 30 than it would if you’re 60.

This age difference thing has been a popular topic over the years. Personally, I don’t care what the ages of another married couple are, or whether he’s older or she’s older. Whatever works for them is fine with me.

However, I have to chuckle a little whenever I hear the statement “age doesn’t matter”. Of course it matters! And unless you are willing to at least seriously considering some of the possible ramifications of a very large age difference in a marriage, you’re only fooling yourself, IMHO.

Ray

[Carl]

... in response to age differences, posted by chevy on Oct 19, 2002

As long as the real love is there, age makes no differance.
The Filipinas seem to put their priorities where they belong. Our is a rare case, there is 47.5 years differance. we have been married over 2.7 years and the love has not faded. My wife is a petite, pretty gal. I am not rich.
The love is real. I suggest you not worry about age diff when it comes to most Filipinas. Do not know about Latinas.
Carl

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: age differences, posted by Carl on Oct 19, 2002

Good to hear from you again.  I've missed your posts.  I've been wondering where you were.

Glad that everything is going well for you two.

Stephen & Tess

PS....hey Carl.....TNeal hasn't posted in months.  Is he okay?  Send him back over here.

[Carl]

... in response to Hello Carl, posted by Stephen on Oct 20, 2002

Hello to you and Tess. have been lurking some but had to reinstate my name and password here to post.
Something I just have to make comment on and that is age diff ha ha. As you can see, I am very proud of our relationship.......as for T neal , do not ever hear from him and have not Idea where or what is going on with him.
God bless
Carl & Vemila

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: age differences, posted by Carl on Oct 19, 2002

Glad to see you posting again! Hope all's well with you and your sweetie.

For Chevy:
Yes, the gamut around here runs from the wives being a few years older than the husbands (as in my case and Carisse's) to our friendly local cradle robber Carl with a nearly half century age gap (sorry Carl, couldn't resist). Most guys on this board are mid-forty-ish with mid to late 20 something wives, so 20 years is pretty common. I have a 52 year old friend who married a 21 year old Mexicana. She's got him on a short leash, though.  One thing's for certain, Asian women are a whole lot less likely to be the one calling the shots in the relationship and a whole lot more interested in family teamwork, in my somewhat limited experience. I have 50 Mexicanas working for me at any given time (over 200 in the past 8 or 9 years), many young, cute, and built like brick you-know-whats, but I wouldn't trade my Japanese wife in on any one of them - not even close.

-- Jeff