Culture shock

[outwest77]

Since i have not been married to a filipina, only visited manila twice, i was wondering those of you who are, what is the culture shock like and how bad is the lonliness., i think my gf would be bored in the US, shes from manila, Its so wild there, so many things to do, and im from a relatively small town in the US

Also, wat about interacting with other filipinas, i think i know a few here in the usa , but they seem to have an attitude the ones i meet, about the fact that im not "engaged" and that my gf is only my gf, it kind of turned me off, They seem to be very judgementtal of other filipinas.

[Dave H]

... in response to Culture shock, posted by outwest77 on Oct 22, 2002

Hi Outwest,

There is definitely some degree culture shock for a Filipina coming to the US. Some depends on where she is from and where she is moving to. Some women handle it better than others. Most Filipinas only know the US from TV or the movies, which can be quite distorted. My wife figured that the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area would be very similar to Manila. But after she arrived, she found everything to be very strange at first. She even missed the garbage in the streets, squatters, and all of the noise. Weather and plants are very similar here in South Florida, which was a plus...but the aircon everywhere has taken some getting used to. Even though there are many US restaurant chains in the Philippines, most Filipinos don't prefer or eat that food on a regular basis. Finding good rice is a must! Asian markets and Philippine stores are a godsend. Finding "good" chicken has been difficult. Most have a strange aftertaste (even Perdue), perhaps due to the antibiotics they are given. I think that my wife is most unhappy with how complicated and fast paced life can be in the US. I try my best to keep it simple. Homesickness seems to come on pretty strong at around 6 months for many and can last up to 2 years or so. Although, I've heard and personally found that it gets better after about a year and continues to improve as time goes on. Most of the Filipinas that I know would move back to the Philippines if given the choice.

There seems to be a lot of Filipinas with attitudes in the US... Some will see a Filipina together with a Kano in public and ignore her. Some will hear a Filipina speaking Tagalog with a provincial accent and snub her. Some even knew each other back in the Philippines and constantly talk she..it behind each others backs and compete with one another. I believe that it is best that you don't push your Filipina to meet and become involved with other Filipinas or PI groups in the US...lest you want to be infested with crabs or if you prefer "fleas". If the lady is mature, she will find a few good Filipinas, as well as non-Filipina friends.

Dave H.

[outwest77]

... in response to Re: Culture shock, posted by Dave H on Oct 23, 2002

Thanks Dave what a long post, ya florida i remember those summers, yikes i bet she is used to that heat at least
If i can decide if i want to marry my gf then i will see the real test i guess,
thanks for your responsse
mike

[Stephen]

... in response to Culture shock, posted by outwest77 on Oct 22, 2002

If something would happen to me, Tess would be back in the Phils ASAP.

BUT....Tess has not had a big problem adjusting to America.  I think she's done quite well.

Don't sell your gf short.  She'll be able to take it.

Stephen

[outwest77]

... in response to Re: Culture shock, posted by Stephen on Oct 22, 2002

thanks for the help, i think i feel better now,stephen
hope you and tess are doing great

[Jeff S]

... in response to Culture shock, posted by outwest77 on Oct 22, 2002

My wife, originally from Yokohama, the nicer suburb outside Tokyo, even thought the Orange County area (the nicer suburb outside Los Angeles) was hicksville when she first got here. Part of it was the relative isolation of neighborhoods in America, particularly out here in the southwest where a car is the only option to get around. There, the subway, busses and walking, can take you safely anywhere you want to go, and you have no trouble with homeless, bad neighborhoods, etc. Her adjustment took a substantial amount of time, I think more because of language difficulties than anything else. Had she been fluent or conversant in English it would have been different. Now, she'd rather live here than Japan, just so long as she can visit Japan on a regular basis.

It sounds like you're worried other Filipinas will poison your GF's opinion of you, your lifestyle or something about your relationship. I wouldn't worry about that too much. If she's that easily influenced, she's not a keeper anyway. My wife doesn't like many of the Japanese she meets here and is usually just polite but detached. Of course, she's made friends, but not too many. Come to think of it, I usually don't care for many of the Americans I meet overseas, either, and have even been known to feign not speaking English when approached by some I don't care to associate with. My Spanish is good enough to fake out most non-native speakers.

I'll probably catch flack for this from guys worried AW will poison their Filipina wives, but I think it's more important to get her involved with other young women with similar interests and lifestyles as her, who can show here the lay of the land from a young woman's point of view, rather than to try to get her involved with other Filipinas who may or may not share her interests, background, etc.

-- Jeff S.

[outwest77]

... in response to Re: Culture shock, posted by Jeff S on Oct 22, 2002

Hi Jeff,

even though ur wife is japanese you seem to have a good perspective, Funny, when im in the phils i avoid other americans, not by design, its just that the ones i have met seem to think they are god or something, same with the aussies, and other europeans. Im much more comfortable with locals.

I know my gf will have a very hard time adjusting here but
all in all i guess it just comes with the territory, The main thing i think she will have a hard time with is not being around a large extended family, 20-40 cousins, I swear she has so many she doesnt know half of them. Lol

Thanks for taking the time to respond though,
Mike-outwest

[bryan]

... in response to Re: Re: Culture shock, posted by outwest77 on Oct 22, 2002

My wifes from Manila and she laughs at anyone who asks... do you miss the PI. Her family dumped alot of problems in her lap and shes glad to have that at arms distance. She loves the US so we been doin alot of fun stuff together. Like when we went down for the AOS a while back we saw Kid Rock, she gets her first live NFL game FINs/Pack nov 4th monday niter. Were planning her a trip to Montreal to see her sister.

Anyway I live in a small town way out in the middle of nowhere and she loves the peace and quiet. She seems extremely happy and the only culture shock i see is shes a little shy about her english which is better then most americans.