For Alumnagirl

[NateD]

Hello.

It seems that you're curious as to why the men and women on this board are looking abroad for love.  Well, let me give you my perspective:

I'm 22 years old (shocking, no?) and in my final year of undergraduate studies, after which I plan to go to graduate school to become a librarian.  People have always told me that I'd find someone in college, but so far, that hasn't even been CLOSE to the case.  It could just be the school where I'm going, but I've noticed that most of the available women at my university aren't even close to being what I'm looking for (there's something about them going out every weekend and getting plastered that...just doesn't do anything for me, you know?).  And the ones whom I would be looking for are taken.  There's a saying that all the good ones are taken, and I'm honestly starting to take that to heart, somewhat.

I've recently been cruising some of the "mail order bride" websites, and it would seem that 99.9% of the women on these sites are EXACTLY what I'm looking for: they have a strong belief in God, have very strong family values, and just plain and simply sound like my type of woman.  

I'm not looking for some submissive, housewife type person.  I'm just looking for someone I can love who'll love me just as much, whom I can spend the rest of my life with.  If she wants to get a job, fine by me.

Hope this helps.
NateD

[alumnagirl]

... in response to For Alumnagirl, posted by NateD on Sep 22, 2002

There's a normal girl at school for you.  She might not be the blonde sorority girl, or the cheerleader, or even the brainy future Fortune 500 type.  But why do you want to use a mob service?  Why not a regular internet dating site where you can meet people within an hour or so's drive?  www.lavalife.com is a good one, from what I understand.

[The Walker]

... in response to I'm sure...., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002


Some men find the exotic and the hard to attain extra challenging and more desirable. Why do some Caucasian women prefer Negro men? Why do some Negro men prefer Caucasian women? Isn't that their business and not ours? If a man prefers Asian women that is his business. Lori seemed to be attracted to an Asian man. Of course, her story ended less than happily, but still it was her choice and no one else should have interfered.

Personally, I find the heroin chic of runway models repulsive. Likewise I do not like silicone babes. Skin color is a null issue with me, I could care less whether she is lily-white or ebony. I thought of marrying within the tribe, but the available pool of potential mates is limited. Blackfoot tend to marry for life.

I prefer the willowy and graceful women myself, those that have a certain way of walking that is especially feminine. It has to come naturally, it cannot be learned. Breast size is also a non-starter with me. So long as she is not girlish there, as being a father of two girls I have the natural inhibition against sex with really small-chested females.

Overseas marriages tend to last longer than domestic marriages due, in part, I believe, to the time and expense and travel it takes to put one together. If you have read much here you know that it isn't usually a slap-dash thing. You have to correspond, to travel, paperwork, all that. At any time during the process it can come apart, one or the other can change their minds. Keeping a long-distance romance going is hard, as anyone who has ever done it can tell you. The average overseas marriage has an 80% survival rate, compared to 50% for domestic marriages. The men who do look overseas tend to be better educated, mature, and more financially sound. The women have usually not been bombarded from birth with Barbie and Cosmo and other things that tend to warp their young minds. Is it any wonder that anorexia is a girl's disease, or that it is at epidemic proportions in America? Or that neurosis problems with young American girls are on the increase? You miss out on a lot of that emotional baggage with a foreign woman. Sometimes American women are just too much to put up with, bless them. Thankfully, my girls grew up healthy and spent a lot of time overseas, in Europe, when I was in the service. Cosmo and like rags were verboten at our house and television was closely monitored when Stateside. TV was not allowed to serve as a babysitter, and video games were rationed as well. I am very thankful I married the first time before all this got a death grip on American women. I would hate to be a young man now and have to deal with the conflicted young women of today in America. From what I have been told by the young men in the dojo I train in (and sometimes sub as Sensei), it ain't no picnic. About half the young women in their age group are "crazy", they say. They can't decide whether they are semi-vegetarians, or vegans; whether or not they can or can't wear leather in their shoes, since leather comes from cows, but plastic is made from oil and that pollutes; they want to wear all-natural fabrics but they aren't fashionable (you ever try to find a cotton prom gown?); should they or should they not shave their armpits?. The poor boys don't know which end is up. The competition for the few girls with their heads on straight is fierce.

And that is one reason more and more younger men are beginning to look overseas.

Don

[Jeff S]

... in response to I'm sure...., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

Why do you care what route we use to find love?

-- Jeff S.

[NateD]

... in response to I'm sure...., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

I don't want to be mean, believe me on this one, but what gives you the impression that I would even want a sorority girl type or the cheerleader type (the brainy type would be much more my style).

During my high school days, I noticed that the cheerleaders always went for the jocks and would rarely ever give us plain folk the time of day.  And I've noticed that the average sorority girl up here is the same way.  I have no interest in people of that type.

From what I've heard though, Filipinas aren't really like that.  And THAT's what I love about them.

[alumnagirl]

... in response to A sorority girl???, posted by NateD on Sep 22, 2002

[NateD]

... in response to read my response to Kreeger *NT*, posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

I don't need to because I already read your response to Kreeger.  I just find it kind of humorous that you seem to automatically assume that I would go for the sorority girl or the cheerleader.  Why is that?

As for someone who's more of an equal to me, I suppose that would depend on how you define equal...economically, well, that would depend on the country.  As for other versions of equal, I doubt very seriously that I would have trouble finding my equal in the Philippines.

[alumnagirl]

... in response to My response to you., posted by NateD on Sep 22, 2002

to go out with a sorority girl.  That's why I wrote down three examples, examples of the types of girls you can find at school.  Do you do extra-curricular activities?  If you join dance clubs (I was involved with swing dancing (stuff you used to see in GAP commercials back in the late '90's) for three years.  I also sang in a jazz choir and was in the opera.  There are lots of girls in those activities.  Try volunteering, perhaps working with elementary school aged kids.  Lots of college girls do that, and you can meet nice girls there too.

[Kreeger]

... in response to I'm sure...., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

... the difference between an internet dating site with US women and a site with women from abroad? People are people, and it shouldn't matter where our brides come from. We are just people who like a different flavor in this big world of ice cream.

Besides, what makes you think he wants some blonde sorority girl anyways?

[alumnagirl]

... in response to What's..., posted by Kreeger on Sep 22, 2002

The difference between an internet dating site and a mail order bride is that people on internet dating sites tend to be closer to you, distance wise and you therefore don't have to spend so much money travelling abroad. :-)  You're likely to have fewer cultural differences, and she's more of an equal to you than someone from a less developed country.

[bryan]

... in response to Re: What's..., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

Not true, I spent several thousand dollars chasing women all over the midwest last year before i stumbled upon this filipina who got her yahoo personal in a small town near here. As I chatted with her and continued seeking and dating women closer to home i checked it out and discovered that for the price of a weekend motel room in the twin cities dinner entertainment travel etc.. i could be standing in Manila with my tounge down this lovlely lil brown things throat. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO there

Bryan

[NOX1967]

... in response to Re: What's..., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

"..she's more of an equal to you than someone from a less developed country."

It all begins to come out. All of your responses, your questions, your little description about a "lady" revolve around socio-economic status, with a tiny dash of disdain for Asian people. Your sense of self worth, and the worth of others is based ranking and possessions.

You are a typical, modern feminist, which is, in reality, a female who mimics all the worst behaviour of males. All the while you've no real concept of what equality is.

I'm sure any man that only desires to meet his socio-economic equal can find her across the street, literaly!

Personaly I need to find my spiritual equal.

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: What's..., posted by alumnagirl on Sep 22, 2002

I had to search the world to find my equal! Why not? I had the money and time to do it. I have cutural differences with most western women.

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to Why The Limited Field?, posted by Dave H on Sep 22, 2002

...feel free to correct my spelling errors! I already have my college degrees and don't need the practice.

Dave H.

[kevin]

... in response to For Alumnagirl, posted by NateD on Sep 22, 2002


on the button.  I'm 3/4 + score older than you are and still have not yet realized what we both ultimately desire in life.  Yes, I was once married before, to a pinay.  Well, her motives, the reasons to consider marriage in the first place, marriuage was a means to an end (to get anchored legally in the "land of milk and honey".  Nothing more, nothing less.

When I was your age, I seriously considered the "mail-order-bride" route.  What I realized I really wanted in a partner was a special, conservative pinay.  But to talk about the "mail-order-bride" route.  It only invited tons of scorn.  The scorn ranged from allegedly getting involved with prostitutes to "exploiting economically disadvantaged" women.  Finally, after being 25 going on 26, I was simply not meeting what I was looking for in the American socially acceptable singles' scene (bars and domestic singles' mixers.) If there was a girl that caught my fancy, several other guys would be trying to woo her anyway.

It boils down to supply and demand. In America, excepting the late middle-age and elderly group, males outnumber females.  The younger you go, the higher the proportion of males to females.  The more dog-eat-dog it becomes in looking for love on the domestic scene.  It really sucks for the ordinary guy.  So the naturalinclination is that conformist guys (relating to the ANOMIE theory) are going to look towards where there are legitimately available females with supposedly legitimate intentions on both sides (marriage minded).  I still do beleive that a good fulfilling marriage; true love and care to be shared between a man and a woman; and that includes commitment; is what makes life truly worthwhile into one's old age.

I'm still looking. I just don't ever expect to be a great-grandfather someday.  I'm 37.

- Kevin